Birthday present

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by DieHard, Feb 11, 2006.

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  1. DieHard

    DieHard LE Book Reviewer

    my sister god bless her has bought me an SAS day experiance for my 40th birthday.
    She didnt understand when i said i could go into the back garden and run around in the cold and do it for nothing.
    She has changed it for a red letter spy experiance so i will be a walt spy for a day.
    How to get out of it without offending?
    Help needed please :oops:
     
  2. Tell her that you have already done the spy for day thing but you were sworn to secrecy.
     
  3. Simply say that by doing the spy thing, would be too hard to handle as youve always wanted to be a spy.
    As you can only be a spy for a day the realisation that it wont last for ever would be too much for you to handle, and therefore feel it better that you should just leave it as a dream that will never happen :)

    suits_U
     
  4. Tell her to go on it
     
  5. Tell her you’re thinking of joining AQ and that this James Bond training might be just what you need to get in.
     
  6. Tell her she is nothing but a mutha' feckin redneck 'ho.

    The resultant argument will leave you in casualty for a fortnight with fractured testes thus negating your red letter day attendance.

    Hope this helps.

    PS, is your sister a 'ho?
     
  7. Develop a thousand yard stare and a good facial tic, then tell her "I'm sorry but it brings back so many bad memories".
     
  8. Failing that, get p1ssed on dry martinis and bang her back doors in screaming "Admit it Moneypenny, you've been gagging for this for thirty years."
     
  9. filthyphil - im not what youre suggesting he does to his sister is entirely legal.
     
  10. No... although I agree with the general idea, shagging his sister probably isn't the answer... Probably.
     
  11. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Simple - drive off in the morning as though going to the Red Letter day.

    Go into town, park car and go on the lash for the day.

    Get home at night well lubricated and tell her that everything you have done is top secret and if you told her you would have to kill her.

    Following on from your day on the lash your demeanour should be similar to being dragged round a field for 8 hours.

    Sister satisfied - you have a good piss up - jobs a good un.

    p.s. if you are not going to do your sister and she is available - give us a call :wink:
     
  12. Why didn't you want the SAS experience? did you not fancy alienating all your buddies, writing 500 Words for the Sun, a quick spot on Breakfast TV followed by lunch at the Ivy with the producer of your new Sky survival programme and then a kip before dinner with your publisher?
     
  13. Ah Bless. Count yourself lucky at having such a thoughful sister.

    Hmmm tell her you are too old for stuff like this lol. You are NOT of course................life begins at 40 so they say.
     
  14. Tell her that you think it would be wasted, because you've secretly been doing it for a living for the last 10 years. Then swear her to secrecy and tell her that if she blabs, your many enemies from Russia/China/Korea/Iraq/Iran/Afgahnistan etc etc will come looking for you.

    Leave it a few days and then set you car on fire.

    Hide for a few days (on the lash of course), then come home and tell your sister that you KNOW she blabbed. She will be so sh1t scared that she'll never mention it again, and she'll think you are a hero. She will soon set you up with all her friend who need a shag!