Billy Connollys Song about a TA soldier

Does anyone out there know the words to Billy Connollys' song about a TA soldier that goes something like......I'm a TA soldier and the world is scared of me.......
Cheers Mucker!!!!!
Weekend Soldier
(Billy Connolly)
I am a weekend soldier
And the world is scared of me
I've fought a million battles
And I'm always home in time for tea

When I was just a spotty youth, and tired of being ignored
One day I said to myself, Iain, why are you so bored?
I wanted some adventure, some excitement and some power
So I went to the local Territorials, I joined within the hour

I've been in the army for some time now, even the sausages are nice
Hey, this is the way to see the world, boys - I've been to Edinburgh twice
And all you left-wing radicals, don't give me any of your cheek
And have your demonstration on a Saturday, for I have to work all the week

I've been in the army for three years now, I enjoy playing at the games
And when I put my uniform on I feel like big John Wayne
My camouflage jacket fits me perfectly but the trousers could be improved
I have to take three steps or more before they even start to move
Depressing isn't it............maybe CGS should have a look at this and ask himself whether the steps the Army has taken in the last few years in terms of PR have dispelled these myths?


Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Even better song of Billy's is Sergeant Where's Mine

I'm Asking You Sergeant Where's Mine [print]
(Billy Connolly)

I'm lyin' in bed, I'm in room twenty-six
Thinkin' on things that I've done
Like drinkin' wi' squaddies and bullin' my boots
I'm countin' the medals I've won

These hospital wards they're all drab lookin' joints
But the ceiling's as much as I see
It could do with a wee touch of paper or paint
But then again maybe that's me

Oh sergeant is this the adventure you meant
When I put my name down on the line
All that talk of computers and sunshine and skis
Oh I'm askin' you sergeant where's mine

I've a brother in Glasgow wi' long curly hair
When I joined up he said I was daft
He says shootin' strangers just is nae his game
That brother of mine is nae saft

But I can put up wi' most things I've done in my time
I can even put up with the pains
But what do you do with a gun in your hand
When you're faced with a hundred odd wanes

Oh sergeant is this the adventure you meant
When I put my name down on the line
All that talk of computers and sunshine and skis
Oh I'm askin' you sergeant where's mine
Billy is the lad who was supposed to do three shows at the China Fleet Club in 1980. He did one, got heckled by the Mortars of the Queen's Own Highlanders and just couldn't come back quick enough for the Jocks; they had great sport with him. The next night he was heckled off the stage by the Antitank and the rest of S Coy. He didn't appear the next night! And that, children, is why he always keeps on going on about the Queen's Own Handbag Carriers or Deserters - because he couldn't get word in once the Jocks got going! I was at the second night and it was brilliant by the way :cool:

A good bit of fun and since Billy is ex TA perhaps we should use him in the next campaign. Something along the lines of 'join the f'''''ing TA or I'll f'''''ing have you, you t'''t'......they'll come flooding in!
He's ex-para TA ever heard him talking about were the word W@nk comes from apartently army beds when you play with yourself they go wink w@nk he tels a funny story about kicking 7 beds out of a lad from another unit on exersise then seeing him at work 8)

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