Bill Gates versus General Motors

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by BossHogg, Jan 20, 2007.

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  1. Advanced Member

    Group: Trusted members
    Posts: 755
    Joined: 25-August 06
    From: North-West Cumbria
    Member No.: 268

    For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way
    computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo
    (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the
    auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the
    computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got
    1,000 miles to the gallon."

    In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
    stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be
    driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this

    1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

    2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to
    buy a new car.

    3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You
    would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows,
    shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could
    continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

    4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause
    your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would
    have to reinstall the engine.

    5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
    five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -- but would run on only
    five percent of the roads.

    6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all
    be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation"
    warning light.

    7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

    8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out
    and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door
    handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

    9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn
    how t o drive all over again because none of the controls would operate
    in the same manner as the old car.

    10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off. :neutral: