Biily Connolly on the Glasgow attacks

#1
Billy Connolly's take on the terrorists hitting Glasgow...

"Good old Glasgow. If I had to pick a city in the world where I could
depend on one of the locals to kick a man who was on fire, it would
always be Glasgow. That really had to hurt - 90% burns and sore
b0llocks...

I think we should get a photo of that guy KICKING A FLAMING MAN, blow
it up and make it the welcome sign at Glasgow Airport. Underneath we
should have the words 'Glasgow Welcomes Careful Drivers'...

I love the naivety of al-Qaeda. For trying to bring a religious war to
Glasgow. You're 400 years too late guys!! You've not even got a
Football Team for Christ's sake... I think that we should give Partick
Thistle to al-Qaeda. If only for the joy of hearing them read out their
team sheet on Saturday...

The Sun last week urged us all to respond to the attack by flying the
Union Jack. Really, in Glasgow that's never been a great way of getting
your insurance premiums down...

If we play this whole terrorism thing right, we could get al-Qaeda to
blow up some of Scotland's eyesores. I think we should definitely start
putting signs up round Shettleston's high flats that say 'Financial
Quarter'...

For a while, confusion reigned at Glasgow airport. Was it a terrorist
attack or just Richard Hammond turning up late for check-in?

People say it was lucky they didn't crash into a fuel container. I say
it's lucky they didn't hit the queue coming out of Duty Free - the whole
place would have gone up like Hiroshima...

The best bit is being told that hundreds of people were saved from being
hideously burnt...these were Scottish people flying to Spain!
They'll come back looking like they've been bungee jumping off the lip
of a volcano!"
 
#2
taffridge said:
I think we should get a photo of that guy KICKING A FLAMING MAN, blow
it up and make it the welcome sign at Glasgow Airport. Underneath we
should have the words 'Glasgow Welcomes Careful Drivers'...

I love the naivety of al-Qaeda. For trying to bring a religious war to
Glasgow. You're 400 years too late guys!! You've not even got a
Football Team
This was actually from the far funnier Frankie Boyle on Mock the Week a couple of weeks ago. I remember because we saw it and laughed until we dry-heaved.

Spotterific! :)
 

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