Biggest Lie You Have Ever Told

#1
Right, I today, have actually told someone that I need the name changed on my *gas bill/electricity bill/Identichip/Vets (delete as applicable) that I killed my husband and buried him under the patio. They believed me.

Any better ones?
 
#2
I once intoduced my (now ex) girlfriend to my twin brother, that I had never once mentioned in the 6 months of knowing her. The fact that he was 6 years younger and from the other side of the country didn't throw her at all. Only got bubbled when she asked my mam how Al was doing
 
#4
"I love you"

"It's my first time too"

"It'll be special.....I promise"

"It won't hurt a bit...!" :twisted:
 
#5
#6
Dale the snail said:
Right, I today, have actually told someone that I need the name changed on my *gas bill/electricity bill/Identichip/Vets (delete as applicable) that I killed my husband and buried him under the patio. They believed me.

Any better ones?

Who can better that? Fantastic.........
 
#7
The all time classics:

It was like this when i got here.....

No i have no idea how that happend...

"What me?????"
 
#8
Don't worry, I won't come in your mouth.
 
#10
no1cares said:
Dale the snail said:
Right, I today, have actually told someone that I need the name changed on my *gas bill/electricity bill/Identichip/Vets (delete as applicable) that I killed my husband and buried him under the patio. They believed me.

Any better ones?

Who can better that? Fantastic.........
I think that No1Cares is a really funny person.
 
#12
How dare you, we never tell lies!

Terminological inexactitudes perhaps, certain economies with the truth as circumstances demand and very rarely the odd tactical misrepresentation.

If pushed into making certain statements some cynics might suggest that these were so unclear that they were well towards deliberate calumniation, but outright lies?

Dear me no.

Never.

No, not us.
 
#13
I'm unfortunate enough to have had 2 of my back teeth (1 from either side, at the top) kicked out in the past.

I told my wife that I'd had them removed so i could fit a 'bit' into my mouth for an ex girlfriend to ride me like a horse....

She believed me.....
 
#14
jimmys_best_mate said:
"Yes Sir, I am very interested in going on my Foreman's course."

Every six months for the last six years.
spot on jim waiting for the day you can tell em to ram it as soon as you get your third up.

I'd much rather be up the front than remfing here in the px that's always a good one
 
#15
MicknDarcyJo said:
I'm unfortunate enough to have had 2 of my back teeth (1 from either side, at the top) kicked out in the past.

I told my wife that I'd had them removed so i could fit a 'bit' into my mouth for an ex girlfriend to ride me like a horse....
How I laughed when I read your post.

Somewhat perversely, I have had some of my back teeth removed in order that my girlfriend can fit a 'bit' and ride me like a horse.

Obviously, I've told the wife that they were kicked out in a rugby match and she believed me ?!!! :D

How ironic :D
 
#16
"yes, i am really enthusiastic about this job"

"i... love you too(?)"

"WHAT?!!! but she's your girlfriend!! i would never try'n seduce her!!"
 
#18
Your the first woman i've done this with!
 
#19
Of course I won't tell anyone......
 

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