Biggest home DIY Disaster you have done !

Discussion in 'DIY' started by Spank-it, Aug 8, 2013.

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  1. I feel the pain of all home DIY(ers)........that tackle a job only for it to go horribly wrong. So let's share these stories, so that fellow arrsers can offer condolences or just piss themselves laughing.

    Starter for 10:

    My wife went out and bought a new kitchen sink tap complete with soap dispenser, and separate spray hose,....... after weeks of humming and ahhaing, I decided to tackle the job one Sunday afternoon on a bank Holiday Weekend. 1st mistake. I turn the water off under the sink. I proceeded to remove the old tap using the proven method of taking a big hammer / wrench to a small problem. 2nd mistake. Needless to say the old tap got fucked up. No probs because I was putting a new one on anyway. ********.

    I opened the new box....resorting to stabbing the plastic box cover with a Stanley Knife. 3rd mistake. Well **** me if the new one now had 10 connection points and not just the two I had removed. (picture below) Now, bear in mind that I am squeezed under the sink trying to do this upside down. Lots of fiddling about to tighten up the connectors before attaching the supply pipes, lots of 'kin ell', fuh, fuks sake, Jeezuss H fukkin Christs, could be heard. The wife went to visit a friend.

    I put the final 2 hot / cold feeder pipes onto the inlet connectors. Underneath the sink looked like the plumbing from a Nuclear Fuel Reactor cooling system. It looked Shite.

    One last look around, and I turned on the inlet valves, crawled out from under the sink and gamely tested the cold tap, Hmmm, nice... works well, does feel a bit warm though !. Turn that off and open the Hot tap. Hmmm, nice... works well, does feel a bit cold though ! 4th mistake. Shi'za, hot/cold backwards.

    Oh, Oh !! water under the sink ???? I do notice water..a lot..dripping from the Shut off valve. Bollox !!

    I turn on both taps above and **** me it looks like a shower garden spray under the sink, water pissing from everywhere. I set about re-tightening the connections. Same Result (except H/C now correct).

    I messed around for hours, trying unsuccessfully to stop the leaks, and Yeeeeessssss, I used plumbers tape, but it was no good, nothing worked.

    So now, it's 9pm on a Sunday night, I have a leaking intake valve, a tap that DOES NOT fukkin work, an old tap that is fucked, and everywhere is CLOSED until Tuesday. Shit, Shit, Shit !!!!! I have no option except to turn off the WHOLE house supply.


    One pissed off wife.
    One pissed off Daughter

    One busted up box of a useless frickin tap, that the store refused to take back.

    I had to purchase:

    1) A NEW tap - with just 2 easy connections (sprayer included pre attached)

    2) A new intake valve and new copper connections...which required......

    3) A new Propane Torch. (Which I will never use again probably)

    Moral of the story:


    Attached Files:

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  2. I once rounded off the head of a self tapping screw. It was ok though as I had tightened it as far as I needed to.

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  3. I learned a long time ago to leave complicated stuff to the experts. Or phone the landlord. Unless the job can be bodged with copious amounts of Harry Black/PTFE/Silicone.
  4. Done? What do you mean done?

    If I'd done it it wouldn't be a disaster!

    My bathroom has been in the course of diy renovation for over two years now!
  5. I once put up a shelves with a cordless drill and raw plugs. My English raised cleaning lass immediately saw me as marriageable material. I've since relied on less exotic North African gals. Their erotic centers lie elsewhere.
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  6. I didn't realise you could get square head screw drivers for square head screws. So himself and I gouged/pulled the screws out of the wooden window frame with pliers etc. This was after jemmying off the metal strip that was held down by them, and yanking out the screws as best we could. We were visiting the D.I.Y. superstore on an unrelated matter where we then saw, yes, square head screwdrivers. The only good thing about this was we could buy the right tool to finish off removing the unwanted screws from the window frames. They were left over from when fly screens had been installed. Fly screens in the garage, frame still in woodwork. Anyway, all fixed and making good done now.

    Plumbing / Electrics / Gas - I figure it's cheaper to get a professional to do it in the long run. So far, I've been lucky to have honest, reliable tradespeople work for me.
  7. The worst one is every ******* one I do....Wife seems hells bent on me rebuilding a ex council house....

    Bastard :(
  8. I put a screw through a radiator feed pipe whilst screwing down the plywood base to an on-suite conversion in my house.

    I was on the last bit when my 3 yr old daughter (at the time) asked mummy why there was rain in the Lounge downstairs.
    I had to rip up all of the 18mm ply in a rush (arms of garth when your shitting yourself). Then had to put my finger and thumb over the holes whilst burning myself, waiting for my wife to bring the spare turn key joiner (which of course I had left in the garage) up to me.

    Then had to cut the pipe twice either side of the hole with water spouting everywhere and then fit the joiner.

    Now whenever I do any plumbing or work near pipes, I have a joiner within reaching distance.
  9. Not me but my dad. My dad was a carpenter and joiner by trade but could do, and had done pretty much everything over the years. He was also a perfectionist and bloody annoying with it too.

    About 6yrs ago my then girlfriend and now wife, had a conservatory put on her house. And I offered to put all the laminate flooring in before any skirting boards were put on. As the skirting boards could go on after, to cover the expansion gaps you need to leave by the wall.
    So I asked my dad to get the skirting boards as he was in the trade. And because the conservatory was an odd shape, asked if he'd fit them as well. No problem he says.

    So he comes down on a Sunday morning and starts fitting them. After a morning of fitting nearly all the skirting there is just a little bit left to do, we break for lunch. Just as we finish lunch I go in the conservatory for something and I notice a "squishing" sound as I walk on the laminate. He'd only put a nail through the water pipe connected to the radiator (the pipe was behind the plaster board). And whats worse, it was probably the second nail he'd put in first thing in the morning. The water must've been pissing out all morning behind the plaster board and eventually gone underneath the flooring.

    We ended up having to have a new pipe fitted to the rad, a new section of plaster board fitted, new flooring, and new skirting boards. All claimed for on the house insurance. After all the lectures I'd had growing up whenever I'd made a mistake, I never let my dad live it down.

    Sent from beyond the grave using the Force.
  10. Plastic waterpipes are a bloody disaster waiting to happen.

    Sent from my HTC Wildfire S A510e using ARRSE mobile app
  11. Went to bed leaving my stubborn girlfriend to wallpaper the hall, being a perfectionist I was trying to give her advice but she was adamant she could do it and wanted it done before house warming the next day . I woke up OMFG I could of done better blindfolded. It was a lash up big time we had massive argument but I wasnt allowed to touch it. After a good 6 months I ripped it off and sorted it, my only advice I could give myself is in future grow some balls and **** her off next time she says she is going to attempt diy.
  12. Ex Hubby bought a house, many moons ago, in Nottingham. Deciding that he'd go to the races with his mate, he left me and the Mother in Law to take the tiles off the kitchen walls and take the cupboards out. He diligently showed me how to take the tiles off using a chisel and a lump hammer.

    Off he trots (geddit?) with his pal for a day on the piss. We made a start on the tiles, which had other tiles underneath them. Tiles upon tiles? This is going to take us forever - shall we just smash them off with the lump hammer? Took half the plaster off the walls as well and you don't want to know what happened when we took the cupboards out.

    He came back, slightly tipsy, to find what resembled a building site in what was the kitchen, and me and his mum watching telly and having a brew. It took him longer to fix the mess than it did for us to demolish it. We had fun though!

    Serves him right for trying to get it done on the cheap.
  13. Oh Snail; I thought you were going to spill the beans about the cucumber, lube and the vacuum cleaner mishap you endured; still that story is just as good!
  14. That's just vulgar.

    When I got my own house, I was entrusted with painting the living room while he was at work. I got next door's son to come and help me and we decided to have a "Who can paint the rudest thing on the wall?" competition before painting over it.

    He came home early that day to find something that Banksy would have been proud of. I got "Vision and No Sound" for 2 days. It was bliss. I was getting bored of being told why I wasn't allowed to use the electric sander and why I had to use the sanding block and sandpaper. Skinned knuckles and "Arms like Garth" before I told him to shove it up his arrse and do it himself.

    It was probably a good idea actually though. We've all seen the evidence of my experiences with strimmers and hedge cutters.
  15. No, I can't say I have seen your pubis shaved.