Biggest excuses

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Ciggie, Jan 7, 2011.

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  1. We all have dreams, and excuses for not carrying them out. I was going to be a rock guitarist until that bizarre skating accident that cut all my fingers off.......

    You do realise that these could turn into chatup lines.......
  2. Thats good enough for me get your coat you've pulled - eerm do you want to be mummy or daddy

  3. I was going to call you a wanker but....
  4. I was going to be a serial killer. I could get the cardboard box open, but the plastic bag inside was too much of a bastard.
  5. If that's the same box that has a picture of a cockerel on it, I thought it was a jig saw puzzle. No fuckin wonder I couldn't put it together.
  6. Sorry son, seems like you've got all your fingers....

    Gosh, so I have, how would that come by ?

    The resr is history...........well, I fucking hope not or SPA will be after me
  7. "I'm sorry I'm home late dear. I had off at Tescos for this pizza"
  8. Tell you what you look abit nervous, you can be Daddy, now get over here and suck Mummy's cock!!;-)
  9. I hope you kept the receipt because I fcuking hate mushrooms!!
  10. Be a good boy and eat up all those mushrooms and daddy will put on a show with his new sock puppet....
  11. terroratthepicnic

    terroratthepicnic LE Reviewer Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Runners

    A friend on facebook asked her son to do the washing up, his excuse for not doing it was; ..."I'm a teenage boy, I'm not designed for this, all we are designed for is being lazy, having sweaty socks and looking at girls boobs"

    Got to hand it to him, that's a fucking good excuse.
  12. A lot of them have heads designed for slapping. :)
  13. Fuck me, I think I'm a teenager.
  14. I think I am turning into one, again. Please, anything but that.
  15. Teenager - definition : Quentin Tarantino - brain of a nine year old hiding behind a twelve year old's face.