Big Timing for Old and Bold

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#1
'When I joined, battle preparation meant painting our arses blue...'

Any more favourites out there?
 
#2
When Centurian was a rank, not a tank...

No. 2 on the boiling oil.

Army Number 00000006
 
#3
There are some well-worn ones:
'When chieftain was a rank not a tank'
When Pontius was still a pilot officer'
...but I wouldn't call them favourites.
 
#5
When "Form Square" was a QBO.
 
#6
When I was Duty Cook at the Last Supper.

Duty Druid at Stonehenge

We didn't have numbers, we knew each other's names.
 
#11
When God said, 'let there be light', I put the standby generator on line.
 
#13
This one may be standard in 20 years time. (More for the Cousins so far).

I was in Baghdad when you were in your dad's bag.
 
#14
Had these hurled at me by an old para SQMS when drew my kit for Granby

1. Backsliders like you cost us a bridge

2. Louch pole? fcuking louch pole? why do you think god gave you a hip?

Same fella later on

3. Can't means won't, won't means jail

4. Fall in on the road gents....I'll march you to the cookhouse, save you walking
 
#17
From a RWF Reservist who had volunteered to go to Kosovo to a gobby redarrse:

'I've been out longer than you've been in!'
 
#19
He's been in so long, his regimental number is XXVII....

He still carries chalk and slate in his top left...
 
#20
firestarter said:
"Since Pontius was a pilot"
"Since Christ was a corporal"
Old Smudger joined when Hitler was a boy

I remember a right nobber in the RHF - he was a bit of a hard nut and a right bullying tw@t - bleached hair and designer jeans...you know the sort (I love me, who do you love?). He called my mate over and said "hey wee man...I'm the only blond in the Battalion. Get it cut off or dyed". And he was serious! Thankfully he got kicked out for bullying :). Hopefully he's homeless or (preferably) dead now.

Another favourite was the old "you've not been in long enough to look at me". 8O
 
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