Big Body Squad Ch5

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by re-stilly, Feb 22, 2012.

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  1. I can't believe what I am seeing, who is feeding these fat fuckers and why do we have to treat them. It took 8 ambulance men to get a 54 stone fat fuck back into his house after being in hospital.

    Talk about shout TV
  2. Mad, isn't it? My brother is on the show tonight, he is a fireman and had to help extract a fat f***.
  3. Your brother is so lucky. There are some serious hotties on this show.
  4. Can't believe the bloke they brought home at 54 stone is now 58 stone, gone up 4 stone in a couple of weeks. His excuse his Mum died, bollocks you fat fuck you just eat too fucking much.
    • Like Like x 3

  5. It's a mental health issue.

    Now as this is the Naffi, were there any chunky hotties?
  6. There was one of 27 stone nice lank greasy hair, chuck her a pasty and she would have been yours
  7. SOLD! (hope she has hairy armpits and doesn't wash for weeks!) :)
  8. TheresaMay

    TheresaMay LE Moderator DirtyBAT

    I went to school with a right fat fucker, and after leaving and joining up - each time I came home on leave he seemed to have shed shitloads of weight. He was always sensitive about it, so in the end I asked him how comes he's looking so trim of late?

    His reply? "E's and whizz"

    So just like smuggling a tranquiliser into your dog's food shortly before having to transport the huge slobbering beast in your car for a long journey - I reckon the NHS should invest in some high quality drugs and start hiding them in the fatties' tripple gutbuster McFat burgers.

    Because let's face it:

    A. They're gonna die anyway.
    B. They might as well feel good and stop fucking moaning like it's everyone else's fault for at least a couple of hours of their miserable deep-fried lives.
  9. I liked the 58 stoner, with all those extra flaps you could muster yourself a fanny too and have a threesome.
  10. They had to use a big fucking crane to get some fat lard ball out of his 2nd storey window here a while back. Stairs were too narrow for the fire brigade to get him out.
    Ambulance service here actually bought extra large Mercedes sprinters to transport the morbidly obese.
  11. There's a whole lardy-based industry in the US which is now in the UK - reinforced bogs, BFO ovens for Crems, strengthened hospital beds, etc., etc.

    [h=1]NHS buys reinforced toilet for extra fat patients[/h] January 6, 2010 12:09 PM

    [​IMG]An NHS trust has been forced to install a reinforced steel toilet which can be used by obese patients weighing up to 70 stone.

    The super-strong loo is part of a new £2.8m ward at Lincoln County Hospital - which also houses a special suite for obese patients.

    It features extra-wide chairs and even beds with hoists and pulleys to get the increasing number of fatties on and off.

    A spokesperson for Lincolnshire Hospitals NHS Trust said: "The ward contains a special bariatric suite designed to care for grossly overweight patients."

    It is not know how close the obese hospital suite is placed to the canteen.
    "Specialist equipment and facilities to ensure high standards of care, privacy and dignity," added the spokesperson.

    Rend the fat fuckers down for lard.
  12. 70 fucking stone??? That's got to be a record if there's someone that lardy.

    Building stuff for fat cunts must be a growth industry.

    Boom tish.
  13. would it have not been more cost effective to have just torched the fucking house?
    I mean thats what the firebrigades there for isn't it?
  14. Because Oz is circling the same PC drain that the UK has already slid down.

    Personally I agree, fire is a great motivator.
  15. Andy_S

    Andy_S LE Book Reviewer

    Seriously, as a non-UK resident may I enquire: Am I reading this right?

    There is now a public service unit that extracts so-obese-they-cannot-walk-by-themselves knackers from their homes;
    Conveys them to hospital for treatment;
    Returns them home;
    There, they simply stuff themselves back to porkhood once more?

    After which - presumably? - the entire process is repeated ad infinitum until either
    (1) the nation goes bankrupt; or
    (2) the patients suffer fatal heart attacks)


    If this is the wave of the future....can anyone recommend some pie stocks to invest in?