Bezzer Etiquette

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by vvaannmmaann, Oct 29, 2008.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. I went to see my bezzer,didn't call him first.His wife,32,answered the door.Just dressed in a thigh length Snoopy T shirt,and a welcoming smile.
    "He's away for a few days" says she.So were in the kitchen having tea.She starts crying.I am the first friendly face she has seen in ages,their marriage is heading for the rocks,she is so frustrated,she needs some company etc etc.I give her a hug,she kisses me.
    I leave the house.I have an open invitation to see her whenever I want.
    So the obvious question.Should I?
    I have known these two for over ten years.And I really like them both.He is non-military,and dosen't do Arrse.Anyone else been in this situation?
  2. is she fit?
  3. No and No.

    Wait this is the NAAFI Bar - scuttle her til she pukes pure jizzzz!! Then get you're bezzer to get the beers in when he gets back!
  4. Normal Reply;
    Best Friends Last Forver, Women come and go

    as its the naafi bar, bang it and let god judge you later
  5. vvaannmmaann, I'm disappointed.

    Your post should be reading "I've just fucked my bezzers missus up the wrong-un and I need to dispose of the body. Any tips?"

    Sort it out and reshow.
  6. Is she the type to spill the beans out of spite? if yes how big/crazy is your mate if big and crazy then no if a tart then fill your boots
  7. Get him very drunk and buy loads of lube. Get her to clean under the rim afterwards.
  8. Is your avatar her picture?!
  9. Well no harm done then if thats the situtation. I would be around there tomorrow with the weakest excuse imaginable to comfort her, yeah thats it, a good old comforting
  10. Oh dear, what a dilemma. If you want to bang her door off the hinges then by all means fill yer boots.

    If you think your mate will find out and you don't mind, fill yer boots.

    If you think you won't get caught, fill yer boots.

    In fact, I can't see a reason not to fill yer boots frankly.

    She's obviously itching for a good old fashioned fcuking, fill yer boots.
  11. Not your reg, not your capbadge, civvy,

  12. So he's not around to complain and she's gagging for it? What's the problem man, or have we outed one o' them gayers?

    Careful if you've got a missus around that could find something out, but other than that, crack on, he won't find out.
  13. If your pal is civvy, then most likely he hasn't stored around the abode and hasn't ' trained' on the use of guns, knives, blunt instruments.. so no worries..

    just make sure the chainsaw and electric turkey carver are out of sight and that she isn't out to ' screw' you to 'screw' with his head.

    Don't tell the wife and kids, take plenty of piccies with the iPhone and post 'em on here.

    thought that was SOP.
  14. Bang his Mrs cos he's been banging yours!

    PS if you don't like that scenario don't bang his Mrs.