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BETTYMOO limerick competition

Betty you've still not quite grasped it
The ARRSE site don't really give a sh it
If you have been paid
Or if you have been laid
We'd just like to pour petrol on you and light it
 
Not a limerick I know, and not my work either.
Macc Lads, Sweaty Bettymoo

She wore big knickers and she worked at the sewage farm.
Got my hands down her jeans and I nearly lost half my arm.
But after ten pints, she looked quite fit,
Couldn't wait to get my hands on her flabby tits.
Slap that and ride the ripples, just got to get my gob round her greasy nipples.
Flabby arse, sweaty breasts, thirty eight chins, she was a mound of flesh.

Sweaty Bettymoo, she eats a lot of pies,
Sweaty Bettymoo, she's got enormous thighs,
Sweaty Bettymoo, have you smelled her breath?
Sweaty Bettymoo, she'd crush a man to death.

I knew that she wanted me to shag her, so I stabbed her **** with my mutton dagger.
I couldn't believe the size of her bum,
She used to play for Wigan at the back of the scrum.
I've seen nowt like it since the day I was born,
But you know me, I'll shag owt that's warm.

Sweaty Bettymoo, she eats a lot of chips,
Sweaty Bettymoo, she's got massive tits,
Sweaty Bettymoo, she's got a huge vagina,
Sweaty Bettymoo, you'd fit a bus inside her,
She's so obscene, three tons of margarine,
She's like a lump of lard
But Sweaty Bettymoo makes my willy hard.

taken from the Macc Lads song , sweaty Betty - and only lightly edited
 
Bettymoo was an ugly gold-digger,
who ate pies all day, and just got bigger,
a soldier she tried,
to take for a ride,
cos he'd fcuked off with better-a-figure.
 
Betty was hungry for crack
She earned it lying on her back
she sucks cocks for cash
she's total white trash
And needs beheading by an extremeist in Iraq
 
Betty was walking the street
Turning tricks to make ends meet
Suck, fuck or blow
She was twenty pounds a go
And she turned up naked, face down in a river strangled to death. That'll teach the whore to go out in Ipswich.
 
A troll on arrse named betty boo
who stuck up her flange some very strong glue
said she with a grin
They pay to get it in
And they'll pay to get it out again too
 
Bettymoo thinks she's ever so smart
but she's a money grabbing ugly faced tart
won't go away
sits here night and day
she's worse than a squaddie's worst fart
 

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