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BETTYMOO limerick competition

#1
Bettymoo said:
I wonder whether anyone can help.. my ex partner has left the Army and no longer pays maintenance for his two young children... no one of course can track him - he has come out at 40 does his pension start now or is it when he is 60 odd... anyway I know you guys all stick together and that but I thought someone might have a little idea to assist me... xx I have been very :frustrated: and also could give him a right :threaten: but its not for me its for the kids x ps before you kick me off I was brought up the Army way and so I am part of an Army family I feel!!

PS I think you guys do a great job x
funny, i seem to remember after this (her first post) that i said "don't tell the thieving cunt anything!!!"

but no, somebody had to go and give her real answers and encourage her to keep posting. and here we are, 48 hours later, with the internet equivalent of thrush.

can i propose a new limerick competition a la kira cochrane over the christmas hols? :) baldricks-bullet - get the prize on offer!

starter for ten:

"there once was a troll called bettymoo
a one-woman case for Voodoo
her ex chewed his arm off
then refused to cough
so she joined arrse and started trying to get information on how to steal his pension off him, the evil thieving worthless chav cunt."
 
#3
she claimed she just wanted a twenty
turns out she already has plenty
but shes after his pension
so guys - pay attention
for fucks sake stop sending the evil bitch private messages advising her about his gratuity
 

Fugly

ADC
DirtyBAT
#4
Bettymoo was a fat ginger hooker,
So ugly that no-one would fuck her,
She trolls on the net,
Should be put down by a vet,
And even Joseph Merrick says she's no looker!
 
#6
There was a young troll named Bettymoo
Who was rank and smelled of 8day old poo
She spent all her dole
Her kids got fcuk all
And now that everyone in her home town has been through her she has a minge like the mersey tunnel and her arse is like a North Westerly view of the Grand Canyon the tink, money grabbing, cock sucker, chav fcuker slut from Satan's lair














(noted that some of that doesn't fit in with Limerick rules and reg's!!) apologies)
 
#8
Bettymoo, bettymoo, bettymoo
I want to stab you in the face
I want to piss in your kids hair
I'll bury you in a limepit
Then I'll dry hump your corpse.




Doesn't ryhme but fuck it, I can't be bothered.
 

Fugly

ADC
DirtyBAT
#9
The Lord Flasheart said:
Bettymoo, bettymoo, bettymoo
I want to stab you in the face
I want to piss in your kids hair
I'll bury you in a limepit
Then I'll dry hump your corpse.




Doesn't ryhme but fuck it, I can't be bothered.
:thumright:
 
#11
The Lord Flasheart said:
Bettymoo, bettymoo, bettymoo
I want to stab you in the face
I want to piss in your kids hair
I'll bury you in a limepit
Then I'll dry hump your corpse.




Doesn't ryhme but fuck it, I can't be bothered.
here we see the gritty, urban face of reality from a challenging young poet. it says "anger" to me. the scansion is naive, but brutally real. clearly much can be expected from this exciting addition to the arrse poetry society. although his prose is less than urbane, even the simplest critic can see the hidden message: "bettymoo is a cunt".
 
#12
I have decided all in good faith you realise.. I pick the winner and as I have been overpaid... by £30.00 I will stump up the prize.... after all you guys clearly think £20.00 is a big lottery win...
 
#13
She stays cos she craves the attention
But what she has forgot to mention
Is that her ex don't exist
She probably pissed
She didn't even know when he was due his pension

(after 5 years with him????)

Ok luv.
 

Fugly

ADC
DirtyBAT
#15
Bettymoo said:
I have decided all in good faith you realise.. I pick the winner and as I have been overpaid... by £30.00 I will stump up the prize.... after all you guys clearly think £20.00 is a big lottery win...
Save it. Go buy £30 worth of painkillers and down the lot. Cunt.
 
#16
Betty you've still not quite grasped it
The ARRSE site don't really give a sh it
If you have been paid
Or if you have been laid
We'd just like to pour petrol on you and light it
 
#17
Not a limerick I know, and not my work either.
Macc Lads, Sweaty Bettymoo

She wore big knickers and she worked at the sewage farm.
Got my hands down her jeans and I nearly lost half my arm.
But after ten pints, she looked quite fit,
Couldn't wait to get my hands on her flabby tits.
Slap that and ride the ripples, just got to get my gob round her greasy nipples.
Flabby arse, sweaty breasts, thirty eight chins, she was a mound of flesh.

Sweaty Bettymoo, she eats a lot of pies,
Sweaty Bettymoo, she's got enormous thighs,
Sweaty Bettymoo, have you smelled her breath?
Sweaty Bettymoo, she'd crush a man to death.

I knew that she wanted me to shag her, so I stabbed her cunt with my mutton dagger.
I couldn't believe the size of her bum,
She used to play for Wigan at the back of the scrum.
I've seen nowt like it since the day I was born,
But you know me, I'll shag owt that's warm.

Sweaty Bettymoo, she eats a lot of chips,
Sweaty Bettymoo, she's got massive tits,
Sweaty Bettymoo, she's got a huge vagina,
Sweaty Bettymoo, you'd fit a bus inside her,
She's so obscene, three tons of margarine,
She's like a lump of lard
But Sweaty Bettymoo makes my willy hard.
taken from the Macc Lads song , sweaty Betty - and only lightly edited
 

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