Better policies for a better Britain

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by the_rigger, Mar 6, 2003.

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  1. As per current affairs thread.
    Compulsary carrying of guns for all hetros. Thereby anyone not packing is a bender and fairgame.
    Decent wheels for the cabinet. Maybe the odd vanquish or two.
    That's what this country needs.
    Any other suggestions ?  eg  Free porn, subsidised alcohol and all cars to be fitted with nitro
  2. mmm a new cabinet is what is needed.

    Pile, any suggestions.

    I am happy to stand but my manifesto may offend the faint hearted ;D
  3. Obviously implementation of such policies would require a savage and bloody overthrow of the current bunch of pinko bottom touchers

  4. You sound like just the man to head up such a campaign
  5. Plans are afoot  Herr Obersturmbaden Grupenfuhrer.
    As I type this, a death squad is awaiting the greenlight outside Bonnie langfords house armed with cricketbats and rusty breadknifes

  6. This is not the attitude that built the empire Dzer old chap. Did we give in when the Japs invaded Poland?ACHTUNG PANZER!!!!!!

  7. Quite right old boy, it's time to get granite.
    I also think that all the olds should have swipe card systems fitted to their houses, so they have to swipe to get out.  Then these can be disabled at times when us hetro workers go for lunch and havn't the time to trip over bloody zimmers and daudling wrinklies. Also at weekends, they have all week to do their shopping.

  8. Right then the cabinet sits

    Dzer(batco) - minister for grown up stuff

    Rigger 9 minister for piss ups and functions with some frog slotting thrown in

    Pile - Minister for discipline and general compliance

    Ma-sonic- Minister for sexual equality (yeah right)

    ORG-foriegn secretary

    Lipstick & Catnip - Brew birds and office concubines.

    The plan is simple, The globe is to be turned pink again (Not Richy pink) The Britsh Empire is to rule.

    The cabinet can choose between thier own Company cars, on the proviso its not French. I am having an Aston Martin DB7 and the fit one from Girlsaloud is to pipe me off while I drive.

    Cabinet hrs

    Mon - Thur 10.30 - 4.00
    Fri 10.30 - 12.30
    Sat closed
    Sun closed

    Sports afternoon on Wednesday to be held in the Dog and Partridge, 3 line whip
  9. Can I be the permanent under-secretary to the under-secretary to the minister ofpiss ups and functions?  that should make me important but not have to do anything, but I will carry out extensive research into the effects of alcohol...
  10. Cor Blimey Rigsby, this is a bit of a serious thread. :-/

    What happened to that happy-go-lucky, p*ss drinking, dirty protest bedspace owning fool I once knew? I've a good mind to give you a shoeing. Please return to the form of your previous postings about things that nobody cares about, but which generate much hilarity.

    It's ever since you got your two eye spy up int it?
    One of the lads when he was just a filthy tripod, but now he's gone all hoity-toity ;D

    Demote this man now moderators. And stick him on ROP's as well
  11. Ex-Dvr, the rigger will indeed need an Uber lt.

    If you can promise to assist in organising the parties required to the highest standards then the job, flash motor and ridiculous payscale is yours.

    Please adhere to the strict cabinet opening hours.

    Monday is a late Start in the Dog and Partridge as we are holding an emergency summit regarding the overthrowing of France and launching a slot the Frogs campaign. Anyone found driving a Renault or Citreon will be dealt with by Pile.

    Anyone found carrying in Euros or any other currency will also be severley dealt with.
  12. bloody hell MDN - you scared the crap out of me


    I thought you were offering me the job of" general secretary of the FBU"

    As for the opening hours, can we negotiate as the pub is open for some of them
  13. A patriotic stance from the Foreign Secretary, award yourself a large shiney medal and a payrise,and we must do something to get you out of that rusty old Jag ;D

    Once the cleansing operation has been fulfilled, perhaps a nice relaxing postion in the totty vetting department is in order as a reward for your loyalty to the Crown


    One of the first roles as the 'New Government' is to rid the nation of the fire service and dream up a suitable demise to Gillchrists existance. Perhaps the Foreign secretary could spare a few ideas, I know he is well versed in the works of Dr Menglais.

    We will review the opening times in a couple of weeks, they are there to be abused, I just wanted a posh brass sign on the door for Catnip & lipstick to polish.
  14. Greetings fellow cabinet members,

    As previous, crab air and the navy will be forced to give up their ensigns and uniform  and made to wear pink berets and pretty flowers in place of a cap badge, until they can conform to a real military service.  

    I provide full backing to the campaign in france.  

    Any news on a sports afternoon, the itenirary from the last thread sounded quite gucci.  

    Who is the minister for firearms?  i still need to draw the gympi for my TVR.  there are still firemen, w*gs and doleys to gun down!  

    i have taken your point on bullets being too expensive for immigrants, they will be executed on the border with heavy plant machinery.  (use your imagination)

    i propose that all female members of the species shall from now on be known and refered to as 'wenches' , also we shall each have several wenches as personal aides.  

    The introduction of the SPAK as the currency for the masses is going well.  

    I shall now be off these means until the opening of cabinet hours on Monday.  (i must now go and get horribly pissed to aid rigger in a study)