• ARRSE have partnered with Armadillo Merino to bring you an ARRSE exclusive, generous discount offer on their full price range.
    To keep you warm with the best of Merino gear, visit www.armadillomerino.co.uk and use the code: NEWARRSE40 at the checkout to get 40% off!
    This superb deal has been generously offered to us by Armadillo Merino and is valid until midnight on the the 28th of February.

Better policies for a better Britain

#1
As per current affairs thread.
Compulsary carrying of guns for all hetros. Thereby anyone not packing is a bender and fairgame.
Decent wheels for the cabinet. Maybe the odd vanquish or two.
That's what this country needs.
Any other suggestions ?  eg  Free porn, subsidised alcohol and all cars to be fitted with nitro
 
#5
Plans are afoot  Herr Obersturmbaden Grupenfuhrer.
As I type this, a death squad is awaiting the greenlight outside Bonnie langfords house armed with cricketbats and rusty breadknifes

 
#8
Quite right old boy, it's time to get granite.
I also think that all the olds should have swipe card systems fitted to their houses, so they have to swipe to get out.  Then these can be disabled at times when us hetro workers go for lunch and havn't the time to trip over bloody zimmers and daudling wrinklies. Also at weekends, they have all week to do their shopping.

 
#9
Right then the cabinet sits

Dzer(batco) - minister for grown up stuff

Rigger 9 minister for piss ups and functions with some frog slotting thrown in

Pile - Minister for discipline and general compliance

Ma-sonic- Minister for sexual equality (yeah right)

ORG-foriegn secretary

Lipstick & Catnip - Brew birds and office concubines.

The plan is simple, The globe is to be turned pink again (Not Richy pink) The Britsh Empire is to rule.

The cabinet can choose between thier own Company cars, on the proviso its not French. I am having an Aston Martin DB7 and the fit one from Girlsaloud is to pipe me off while I drive.

Cabinet hrs

Mon - Thur 10.30 - 4.00
Fri 10.30 - 12.30
Sat closed
Sun closed

Sports afternoon on Wednesday to be held in the Dog and Partridge, 3 line whip
 
E

ex-dvr

Guest
#10
Can I be the permanent under-secretary to the under-secretary to the minister ofpiss ups and functions?  that should make me important but not have to do anything, but I will carry out extensive research into the effects of alcohol...
 
E

error_unknown

Guest
#11
Cor Blimey Rigsby, this is a bit of a serious thread. :-/

What happened to that happy-go-lucky, p*ss drinking, dirty protest bedspace owning fool I once knew? I've a good mind to give you a shoeing. Please return to the form of your previous postings about things that nobody cares about, but which generate much hilarity.

It's ever since you got your two eye spy up int it?
One of the lads when he was just a filthy tripod, but now he's gone all hoity-toity ;D

Demote this man now moderators. And stick him on ROP's as well
 
#12
Ex-Dvr, the rigger will indeed need an Uber lt.

If you can promise to assist in organising the parties required to the highest standards then the job, flash motor and ridiculous payscale is yours.

Please adhere to the strict cabinet opening hours.

Monday is a late Start in the Dog and Partridge as we are holding an emergency summit regarding the overthrowing of France and launching a slot the Frogs campaign. Anyone found driving a Renault or Citreon will be dealt with by Pile.

Anyone found carrying in Euros or any other currency will also be severley dealt with.
 
E

ex-dvr

Guest
#13
bloody hell MDN - you scared the crap out of me

If you can promise to assist in organising the parties required to the highest standards then the job, flash motor and ridiculous payscale is yours.
.

I thought you were offering me the job of" general secretary of the FBU"

As for the opening hours, can we negotiate as the pub is open for some of them
 
#14
A patriotic stance from the Foreign Secretary, award yourself a large shiney medal and a payrise,and we must do something to get you out of that rusty old Jag ;D

Once the cleansing operation has been fulfilled, perhaps a nice relaxing postion in the totty vetting department is in order as a reward for your loyalty to the Crown

Ex-Dvr

One of the first roles as the 'New Government' is to rid the nation of the fire service and dream up a suitable demise to Gillchrists existance. Perhaps the Foreign secretary could spare a few ideas, I know he is well versed in the works of Dr Menglais.

We will review the opening times in a couple of weeks, they are there to be abused, I just wanted a posh brass sign on the door for Catnip & lipstick to polish.
 
#15
Greetings fellow cabinet members,

As previous, crab air and the navy will be forced to give up their ensigns and uniform  and made to wear pink berets and pretty flowers in place of a cap badge, until they can conform to a real military service.  

I provide full backing to the campaign in france.  

Rigger,
Any news on a sports afternoon, the itenirary from the last thread sounded quite gucci.  

Who is the minister for firearms?  i still need to draw the gympi for my TVR.  there are still firemen, w*gs and doleys to gun down!  

MDN,
i have taken your point on bullets being too expensive for immigrants, they will be executed on the border with heavy plant machinery.  (use your imagination)

i propose that all female members of the species shall from now on be known and refered to as 'wenches' , also we shall each have several wenches as personal aides.  

The introduction of the SPAK as the currency for the masses is going well.  

I shall now be off these means until the opening of cabinet hours on Monday.  (i must now go and get horribly pissed to aid rigger in a study)
 
#16
The dept for discipline now has anti hippie patrols out, they are armed with milan and shovels.  (got to let them have some fun)  

They are also on the lookout for any other banned peoples.  

Well then gentlemen, i shall now depart to the pub, and look forward to the resumption of cabinet on monday morning.  
 
#17
Rigger can take on the role of Firearms minister.

Anyone currently holding an FAC needs to be revisited and re vetted, if they are a member of a country and western style club they should be disposed of in the same way as the French.

The cabinet should carry a pistol of thier chioce, and a couple of spare mags, you never know what you mind bump into when out with your selection of wenches.

Ministers will have the automatic role of  Police/judge/jury and executioner for anyone who doesn't fit in or fit the new world criteriea.

ORG sorry to burden you with more work, do you think you could make room for a new legislation regarding the banning and termination of the Marmite miners.

Within that ruling I think it would be prudent for all eighteen year old girls and above to be forced in to lesbo style activities. The butch ugly dykes etc can have jobs on the Motorways and shipyards etc.

Pile, Any news of the French alps being placed near the Midlands yet?
 
#18
Anyone have any views on Wales.

Obviosly there is no place for the Welsh on the new pink globe, but what do we do with all that land?

One thought was to make use of all the Danish and Swede totty that we will own by opening a kind of bigger, drug free Amsterdam.....but am open to suggestions.

Ministers will of course have a permanent pass for such places and won't be charged for services rendered by these young ladies

Also Important, we have no party name yet

Suggestions?
 
L

LE_OC

Guest
#20
Wales is best kept secret in the UK - A 10 bed house can be obtained for less than 100K in parts of Gwynedd (Snowdonia and it's environs). 98% of the North Wales Population east of the Conwy river speaks english as a first language and that cannot be said for any metropolitain borough in england.
 

Latest Threads