Bestest Ever Car Colours

A thread on another forum got me chuckling, there have been some fucking horrendous car colours over the years.

I wonder if any of you miserable cunts can come up with something that'll make me smile. The point of the thread is to post a picture of a car, then "name" the colour, in your own ARRSE style.

I'll give you three for starters, brought to you by Automotive Horror Stories of the 70s:

A Triumph Dolomite in Dog Shit Brown:

View attachment 132468

an Allegro in Hearing Aid Beige:

View attachment 132469

and finally a Mk1 Escort in Spacker Chariot Blue:


Make me laugh you cunts.
Don't forget the "Snot Green", as an added bonus, on a Princess with bodykit

Ital Van in piss yellow?


I thought this was ex BT until I copped the reg


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Jewish racing gold as favoured by large families in the Golders Green area of North London.

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I would actually call that one "Muppet Spunk Green", but a good call nonetheless.
It's what I like to call "The BLMC body fluids" period - I'd have gone with "earwax beige" for the Allegro.

Mine had a square steering wheel. Shite

I also eventually found this for the younger readers

Invacar - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Google kept fucking me off when I searched for "3 wheeled spacker chariot"


My Granddad used to have this:

I don't know what you'd call it apart from "orange" but it certainly was offensive.



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Hangover spew green was a popular Lancia colour back in the 70s.

The design team at Bertone modelled it after a heavy night on the Aftershok shots in a Turin nightclub.

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My dad had a 1978 Chrysler Sunbeam in two tone Jewish Racing Gold over Dog Shit Brown. It had matching orange/brown/beige/gold checked seats with brown vinyl bolsters.

Fuck me it must have took at least 6 square metres of skin off mine and my brothers legs (we were too poor to afford long trousers) in the couple of summers he owned it.

I did look for images but got rather scared in a small child nostalgia fashion.
I've no idea what colour this is but presumably the green wheels are a failed attempt at camouflaging it so you don't take the piss out of the driver.

Here's another one, menstrual pink:



I was subsequently the proud owner of a Rover P6 which was officially "Scarab Blue" . WTF was that about?
I was looking for Luton Pink - the shit colour that all Red Vauxhalls go as soon as you drive them off the forecourt - and actually found this original coloured Corsa:


I'm going to call it Bagpuss Cunt Pink.


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Rover did a rather fetching botter's purple in some of their later cars.

It was pearlescent and went pink in certain lights.

Proper gay.

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