Best / Worst place to leave a johnny

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by thefootman, Mar 18, 2006.

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  1. thefootman

    thefootman Old-Salt

    Come on there must be some great horror stories here. lets have them

    the best place i have left a rubber after putting one through a nice lady was leaving the nice surprise in her shoe the morning.

    anyone got some real good ones
  2. sarnian

    sarnian War Hero

    Found one in a margarine tub in our kitchen. Funny thing is, I live in a house, with four other blerks. None of them had a doris over the night before. No-one owned up to this poshwank. Why a margarine tub though? Why in the kitchen?
  3. Cornelius

    Cornelius Old-Salt

    Where else would you leave a margarine tub? The bath?
    Worst place has to be the kiddies playground.

  4. The worst place to leave a sloshing johnny has to be.........................

    In your father's arrse hole.
  5. Chuzu

    Chuzu LE

    leave it in her then she needs to get it back out and get a pregnancy test
  6. greasyoik

    greasyoik Clanker

    Never mind the johnny pinch her tv/sky remote they will look for the b'stard for ages and never suspect
  7. numbered_3

    numbered_3 Crow

    After going at her hard fast and aggresive notice my suprise when i withdrew and there being no johnny, i believe it was left inside the poor girl :D
  8. easy-wan-kenobi

    easy-wan-kenobi War Hero

    iv done the same on 2 seperate occasions,

    mate of mine left a johnny in a freezer compartment... god knows if/ when she found it. it was her parents house too!

    after a lenghthy stay at the missus house i had been using a smarties tube to contain the mornings activities. parents come back , mit small child...

    i had to wrestle the bastard off the tube! her parents couldnt understand why i was so greedy.

    easy! -l-
  9. doctordeath

    doctordeath Old-Salt

    Played with a girl in a Sauna once!! Not the best idea as things down there can get very hot!!!! anyway decided to finish the job in the shower but on completion it was still inside her frantic girl then spent 5 min's using the shower head to wash it out, dam good floor show!!!! D.D.
  10. My brother may well have chosen the worst place to leave a used rubber. The b@ast@rd left it in the pocket of the leather bike jacket I lent him. Imagine the look of surprise on the face of my bird at the time when she wore the jacket for a trip out on the bike and feeling a bit chilly slipped her unsuspecting hands into said pocket! Ever since I have firmly believed that my brother is the biggest cnut on the planet.
  11. ruby2shoes

    ruby2shoes Old-Salt

    My son has left them in his bedroom bin, only to have the dogs wrag them around the house. Grossssssssssss!
  12. BagCharge

    BagCharge Old-Salt

    Mrs bagcharge came home from a pubcrawl many years ago having discovered a maching in the fem bogs that dispensed different flavoured slong holsters. Thought it would be a good hoot to deposit a chocolate flavoured johnny in my gob when i was asleep. And before anyone goes it wasn't full of u know what I mean :D :D
  13. Hitch

    Hitch Old-Salt

    Maybe worst is to look down whilst on the job and see that wrinkled up, dryed out, johnny half full of sperm wrapped about your knob...and then realise you weren't wearing one when you started
  14. B_G_L

    B_G_L Old-Salt

    When I was 18 I once drunkenly left one hanging from the bathroom tap, shame it was the girlfiends dad that found it next morning.

    I did a stint on a computer helpdesk for Point of Sale systems, I had a bird ring up to say that the monitor was blank so I told her to reach down the back of the counter to check the cable. After she stopped screaming she told me there was a used johnny hanging off the cables, nice.
  15. BBear

    BBear LE Reviewer


    I love this game! My family fooking hate me!

    Everytime my lovely beautiful and caring girlfriend (who happens to be sitting behind me...) comes round, I sneak the used spunk bombs into anywhere i can - best reaction I got was off my brother after sticking it into the sky remote after taking out the batteries!


    ...should be an olympic sport really....