Whilst serving with a Scottish Inf Bn I phoned the SSA and pretended to be with a very bad German accent a local German Policeman. I informed the SSA that a chimpanzie had been stolen from a circus that was visiting the local town and that it was last seen being taken away by 2 persons wearing that particular Bns traicksuit and wanted him to do a search of the Bn to find the said chimp. I then phoned the local RMP station to get them in on the wind up which they were willing to do. The SSA then came into the Orderly Room and explained that he had a phone call from the GCP about a chimp that had been stolen and that they beleived that it was stolen by members of the Bn. I advised him to phone the RMP as they would know if a theft had taken place, this he did and the RMP told him that it had been reported and that if he found anything then they should be contacted straight away. The SSA then contacted the CSM's of all the Coys (they had also been let in on the wind up) to enquire about the missing chimp, one of the CSM's said that he had overheard two of his guys saying that they had spent the night with a monkey but assumed that they were taliking about a female RMP. The SSA then asked what room the guys lived in and then phoned the RMP's saying that he had caught the Chimp, the RMP's said that they would be straight round to collect the chimp. Prior to the arrival of the RMP's the RCMO phone the SSA and told him that he had bannanas on stand by for duty of care. When the RMP's arrived they took the SSA into the RSM's office where they arrested him for waisting police time (again part of the wind up). The RSM gave the SSA a rifting and told him to leave his office and that he would speak with him later. All of the personnel who worked in BHQ were waiting outside to inform the SSA that it had been a wind up. He proceeded to run off to the Sgts' Mess were he was found 2 hours later watching beleive it or not a programme on TV about chimps. His nickname within the Bn from then on was bubbles.