Best ways to shave your hoop/arse

Now gents what is the best ways to shave hairy ronson to get rid of unwanted clagnuts? To keep your hoop hair free for a good hoop dhobi....?
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
fire

always fire
 
Eat a sandwich at work, cry like a bitch and catch cancer is the current SOP to be a bald back fanny.
 
ALERT !!!! ALERT !!! ALERT !!!

Under no circumstances should you shave your hoop. The stubble will make it feel like you are sitting on broken glass, even when you are standing up.

ALERT !!! ALERT !!! ALERT
 
A freshly filled Zippo will do your arrse and your nose hair.
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
A freshly filled Zippo will do your arrse and your nose hair.

it's a ******* powerful zippo (other brands are available) that'll manage both at once.
 
You should never shave your hoop. Lather it after dropping the kids off at the pool by all means.

If you need it bald, smooth and polished, get a lover to do it for you.
 

NEQcounter

War Hero
If you keep shaving your brown starfish, does it get hairier, like my missus' clunge?
 
it's a ******* powerful zippo (other brands are available) that'll manage both at once.

I didn't mean both ends at the same time, but if you can inhale hard enough it may work.
 

spaz

LE
Go into an upstairs bedroom and wrap one end of a length of black maskers round a radiator water pipe. Stick the other end to your arse crack, then dive out of the window.

This guy's ring was so itchy he forgot to attach the tape.

2hq4byd.gif
 
Best way? Get a tart to do it for you. Probably.
 
Consider laser treatment. According to MayoClinic.com, laser hair removal eliminates unwanted hair using an intense beam of light. A laser penetrates the skin to damage the hair follicle, preventing future hair growth. Several treatments may be necessary and future maintenance treatments may be necessary as well. Similar to electrolysis, laser hair removal is an expensive and lengthy process..... no one is putting a laser near my rusty bullet hole!!!
 
Go into an upstairs bedroom and wrap one end of a length of black maskers round a radiator water pipe. Stick the other end to your arse crack, then dive out of the window.

This guy's ring was so itchy he forgot to attach the tape.

2hq4byd.gif


Christ, I'd heard the budget for jump training had been reduced.
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
Consider laser treatment. According to MayoClinic.com, laser hair removal eliminates unwanted hair using an intense beam of light. A laser penetrates the skin to damage the hair follicle, preventing future hair growth. Several treatments may be necessary and future maintenance treatments may be necessary as well. Similar to electrolysis, laser hair removal is an expensive and lengthy process..... no one is putting a laser near my rusty bullet hole!!!

but you'd allow someone near it with a flame or blunt razor?
 
skiff on the carpet like a dog with worms the friction will burn the hair away
 

cymraeg

War Hero
Veet for men. Except dont follow the instructions gor the recommended amount and liberally squirt the entire contents onto that small area.

Results are quick to happen
 
Use some of those wet wipes or a soapy flannel.
WTF is going on in the OPs brain, that he feels the need to bombard strangers with his random life issues.
I always just ask the barman down the pub. This may explain why service has been slow there of late.
 
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