BEST WAYS TO MASTERBATE

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by tommy251, Nov 2, 2007.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. sit on your hand for bout 30 mins the have a wank feals like som1 else is doing.

    any more ideas?

    :D :D :D
     
  2. Brecon 3:00am, Pissing and you're down on Stag...............
     
  3. Use a cheesegrater
     
  4. Beaded Swarfega.
     
  5. ...This...What a great thread (!)
     
  6. I tried that....but got it the wrong way round.........I lay on my cock for 30 mins until it went numb.....it then felt like I was wanking someone else off!
     
  7. two bits of ham, and a vice in a secluded shed.
     
  8. or...some birds face is always a winner
     
  9. By spelling it correctly to begin with! :)
     
  10. I myself am to lazy to pull one off so I just get the local gipper to bounce up and down. Some real grafters out there.

    The_ODP
     
  11. with an aardvark.
     
  12. in the pomme when your the loader for the sqn leader and have to make a feckin cooked meal for him at 03:00 when he comes back from the o group
     
  13. With a salmon. The scales are especially useful for clearing away stubborn nobcheese, and j1zz adds a certain tangy feeling if you serve it for supper afterwards.
     
  14. Beaded Swarfega = Tufanega. Tuf to get off your bollox........

    Alternatively, use a dead cats' tongue. Live ones scratch! Oh yeah!
     
  15. not with a bike or any other inanimate object.