Best way to silence a yapping little fcuking dog.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by BaldBaBoon, Oct 13, 2009.

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  1. Hypothetical of course.

    Not saying there is.....but if there was a little annoying bastid of a yapping,gobby arsewipe of a canine ( terrier size )that keeps me awake at night,and generally winds me up to bloody distraction....what is the best way to get rid of the thing.

    Hypothetically I have already fired at it with a BB gun that causes it to emit pleasing yelps....and hypothetically thrown lumps of concrete at it to no avail.The official complaint to the council has done nothing.

    This for a mental exercise as such....not that I would act on said event...

    Few Houses away,cannot get a clear line of shot from my house due to trees,dog is in the fenced ( 6ft chainlink )back garden that backs onto a school that is totally unlit at night...would not like to use anything indescriminate due to amount of nearby neighbours pets that do not cause problems.
  2. entice it with chicken and drown it
  3. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

  4. Assuming it were you of course, you could try broken glass mixed into a lump of steak. Failing that go and find a 5 year old kid (about Maddie's size) chew a few pieces out of her head and dump her body in next door's garden. He'll be put down before you can say 'stitch up'.
  5. Chuck a family bar of Dairy Milk in with it, chocolate's poisonous to dogs.
  6. Had a similar problem a couple of years ago, I did not try this but apparently it works.

    Coolant fluid for a car apparently tastes like the mutts nuts to dogs according to someone on here and it's fatal. So a bowl of that through the fence and job jobbed as they say...
  7. Microwave it..
  8. Dognap the little blighter and take it to the dog sanctuary, pretend it's your's and that you don't want it anymore so your putting it up for rehoming. Leave false name and address then enjoy yap free life.
  9. The problem requires cunning and a bit of planning, my friend.

    We had much the same dilemma when we moved to Cottbus in the former East Germany.

    Once we'd (I'd) had something like seven weeks of this Labrador mix robbing us (and everybody else) of sleep every night, I snuck out in my ally SAS black overalls in the dead of night, armed with a catapult and 200 rounds of 8 mm steel ball-bearings. From 23:00 hours until around 04:00 hours, I zapped the fücker every time he started to howl. A total of about 70 times (including the times that I missed). Result!!! He learned and never howled again.

    Just a thought.

  10. Feed it cheese (the smellier the better) through the fence. The resultant farting will make the dog's owners get shot of it.
  11. As the owner of 2 terriers (1 Westie, 1 Westie/ Yorkie cross), I would hypothetically burn you out of your house if you tried to harm them. If you and your family died writhing in agony, then so much the better.

    You fcuking prick.
  12. You are Chuck Norris and I claim my £5.....
  13. I heard that two Asprins work I was told that they are almost like instant death the them how ever this would be very crule to said animal and totaly out of order. I also heard that it works on cats.
  14. A bit of lead behind the ear works wonders I'm told.

    +1 on the coolant or so I've heard, inject it into some sausages, airmail it over the fence...job done.