best way to protect myself?

#1
as three of my neighbours were recently smashed on the head from behind and robbed

I am now slightly worried about the same thing happening to me when venturing outside!

any Legal ideas Please?
 
#3
nodigitsever said:
as three of my neighbours were recently smashed on the head from behind and robbed

I am now slightly worried about the same thing happening to me when venturing outside!

any Legal ideas Please?

All of your posts seem to have the same theme, and I for one am getting rather bored with them. Perhaps you could spice them up a bit, like this:

"as three of my Eastern European hookers were recently smashed on the head with large inflatable penii before being rogered within an inch of their lives by a masked man dressed as Santa Claus.

I am now slightly worried about the same thing happening to me when venturing outside!

any Legal ideas Please"
 
#7
Shave all your hair off, have a face tattooed on the back of your suede, wear your clothes back to front and walk around backwards. Then you should be able to see them coming.
 
#8
Wear a rubber gimp suit at all times, then wander around squirting skooshy cream on passers-by at random while saying "MMMMUUUUMMMMMMYYYYYY!!!" in low threatening tones.

It won't keep you safe, but it'll pass the time
 
#9
nodigitsever said:
as three of my neighbours were recently smashed on the head from behind and robbed

I am now slightly worried about the same thing happening to me when venturing outside!

any Legal ideas Please?
My bold - if the protagonists maintain this modus operandi then some sort of helmet might be useful. Mayhap you could invest in a suit of armour and a steed:



If you venture forth dressed thusly then you should be impervious to attack (unless the ruffians switch to using pikes, longbows or musketry).
 
#10
You could always hire a local thug to be your minder.
Or just become a ninja and stalk the streets looking for the mugger, once you have found him you can kill him slowly with a spoon.

Or

Start a vigilanti gang
 
#11
Issued kevlar may be of use, especially if the attacker is an ex full screw gone rogue with a g10 shovel.
 

Mr Happy

LE
Moderator
#13
Be aware. Getting thumped from behind smacks of civvie victim mentality.

If you think you're going to get hit from behind, turn around (fight) or run away (flight).

Listen for the footfalls. Most muggers are kids or in their 20's and smackheads. Potential victims getting taken down from behind sound like the wkrs are looking for easy victims, face to face ain't so easy.

You might also like to remember to carry a 2xAA torch with you when you are out at night, it can come in useful.
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#14
When in Rome, do as the Romans do!

If you can't beat them, join them!

You getting the idea? Sign up to assist them in the mugging process. Much rather inside the tent p!ssing out, than outside, p!ssing in eh?

Just a thought, and you could even get yourself some much needed wedge!
 

Mr Happy

LE
Moderator
#15
Biped said:
When in Rome, do as the Romans do!

If you can't beat them, join them!

You getting the idea? Sign up to assist them in the mugging process. Much rather inside the tent p!ssing out, than outside, p!ssing in eh?

Just a thought, and you could even get yourself some much needed wedge!
WHAT DID YOU DO DADDY?

 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#16
nodigitsever said:
any ideas for a cheap headline?
Call me old fashioned, but coming onto a miltary board and asking for self defence in the street help? ...er...

Right, simply fill your pockets with scorpions when venturing forth. Then the wicked muggers will get a nasty surprise when going through your pockets.
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#18
Go on a 'them' sponsored BG course. You will then be continuously tuned in to your environment and able to react instantly to threats to your person, to the point of ducking at crucial moments before valiantly swinging around UNDER their guard and dropping them in a heroic 'oooh, how did these chocolates get here?' manner.
 
#19
nodigitsever said:
as three of my neighbours were recently smashed on the head from behind and robbed

I am now slightly worried about the same thing happening to me when venturing outside!

any Legal ideas Please?
:D Get a Irish walking stick the ones with the knob on the end ,= Bill Sykes had one its legal. hair spray.air horn. steel capped boots/shoes.sock with stones in it.water pistol filled with chilli/capsicum/pepper spray all legal? :D If you want to be bad buy a sword stick if you can find one. :twisted:
 

Mr Happy

LE
Moderator
#20
It seems pretty easy to me. You just gotta ask yourself. What would Jack Bauer do?
hmmm, shoot them in the head, at long range, with a pistol. Be back in the office in two minutes, use a GPS installed in his daughters hand bag to track her down to where she's been kidnapped. fly there in a hijacked light aircraft, save the president and the daughter even though they are in different parts of Calafornia at the same time. Find out your wife has been kidnapped and fly there in Air Force 1 and then, errrm, shoot all the bad guys in the head just before SWAT turns up. Discover your wife is a traitor, cut off her head and fly to Gitmo, break out a Osama, shoot some Fed's with blanks. Get taken prisoner by AQ in Pak, break out by dislocating your soldier, shoot some of the bad guys in the head, torture one for some old out of date information. Get back to LA in ten minutes to rescue the presidents daughter who you're knocking off, realise she is a traitor and shoot her in the head. Get back to the office in time to lie to your boss about where you were for lunch. Be betrayed by a well meaning but face-liked-a-smacked-arrse colleague (shoot her in the head). Get sent to Gitmo for freeing Osama. Osama gets blown up by bomb in his shoes that you gave him but the government refuses to release you. Forget to eat - even in commercial breaks.

That sort of thing?
 

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