Best way to leave a job?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by HighlandR, Sep 1, 2011.

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  1. So your tearful CO has just told you that you're being made redundant, or because you've torn your paper shuffling muscle...

    What ever the reason, what's the best way to go out and leave a job?

    (I only ask because I'm leaving my civvi job, and I don't plan to use it as a reference...)
  2. Always leave on a good note. You never know who he is related to. My old mate said" Be careful of the toes you step on today as they could be connected to the arse you have to kiss tomorrow"
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  3. Hit the fucker in the head, shag his wife and daughter in front of him and do the dirty sanchez with this two slags.
  4. Leave with no notice but make sure you copy every thing you can onto an external drive then wipe your laptop making sure you destroy a shit load of important stuff that only you have.....(if need be delete other stuff from the company share drive)
    Put out an office wide e mail slagging off your boss as a total turd who is carried by his team and make public any little office secrets you know.

    That should do it.
  5. All staff email with header "Pics from directors night out" + Lemonparty image
  6. Drink a shot of Saki then crash your wheely chair into your bosses desk shouting BONZAI!
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  7. Throw the keys to a 44 ton artic at him and say you drive the fucker
  8. Write this... I take no credit for this, however I have used a letter similar to this and got a glowing reference!

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  9. Ord_Sgt

    Ord_Sgt RIP

    Good advice,you never know where the next job is coming from, don't burn bridges.
  10. The only time I burnt a bridge was when leaving a retail job as a teenager. I literally grabbed my coat and walked out leaving only the key holder (the assistant manager) in the place.

    That was in response to him saying "If you don't like it, leave" on a day when 3 had called in sick after a night out and the store was opening within the hour. How silly he looked having to hang a closed sign on the door for that day.
  11. in a blood soaked rage taking all your wanker colleagues with you
  12. The company I worked for were planning a round of redundancies including the salesman who covered the Caribbean. Among a lot of small orders from the various islands was a very large annual state contract from the Cuban Govt. Sadly for them the companies OPSEC was poor and he heard about the planned sackings before they happened.
    Faxed his resignation in from Havana together with the news that he had set up his own company and won the Cuban order for himself using products from a german manufacturer. Sweet.
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  13. Turn up in a black trenchcoat with a rusty old shotgun screaming " fuck you all you cunts"

    Should get you a nice reference.
  14. I liked the style of that american airline attendant who grabbed a load of beer from the trolley, hurled obscenties at all onboard, fired the escape slide and slid down onto the runway, never to work for that airline again.