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Best steal?

#1
Out on the lash last night and got busted stealing a sign post! My question is.......................... what is the best thing you have ever stolen on the p1ss?
 
#2
a random bike that was left unattended

i only took it for a spin! didnt intend to nick it

got arrested then de-arrested and warned about my actions haha
 
#3
Not me personally .........but remember coming back to camp one night to find toa couple of mates of mine trying to get a pinball machine which they'd nicked from a local dive ...over the fence... the #kin thing weighed a ton, god knows how they'd lugged it, pissed as farts for about 2 Ks :?

It all ended in tears cos one of them shoved it too hard and the other one on the fence went arse over tit and the machine landed about six inches from his head ...and smashed to pieces !! At which point I decided it was time to withdraw tactically back to my bunk ......... :wink:
 
#5
Calgary on R&R once rest of troop picked up all the garden furniture we needed and put it on balcony. I didn't think i was doing anything wrong when i brought in the the hotels ice making machine.
 
#7
some uni mates and i were on a scavenger hunt, we thought our savoy hotel traffic core was good until the other group came back with a 20 foot guys and dolls poster theyd nicked as it was about to be put up in leicester square. we did get stopped by the police with our traffic cone though.
 
#8
Keys to Burger King in Oxford

On leave from leconfield in '97 - Some Belmer was cleaning the bogs at BK in Oxford, he had a massive buch of keys on his belt, I took them off him, went down stairs, ate my burger and nearly choked laughing when he came wobbling down the stairs looking like someone had burst his favourite red balloon.

Still got them somewhere.

CC_TA
 
#9
Me and a mate, pished up at a Transatlantic challenge (Donington Park) in the eighties, had been to Towcester for the night and were too far gone to walk back, we had been to the take away so had a carrier bag each of chinese meal and a 4 pack of Barley wine.
On passing a pub in the village we saw two pushbikes leant up against the side wall of the pub. We looked at each other and without a word jumped aboard our new transport.
We must have looked a right sight weaving about the path and road, we could hardly reach the pedals and it was obvious to an idiot the bikes were definitely not ours, eventually taking a short cut across the fields to the campsite.. (well they were mountain bikes)

We couldn't control our sniggers as we passed an officer of the law at the entrance to the campsite, as we levelled with him his radio burst into life with a report of 2 stolen mountain bikes from outside a Towcester public house.
To make matters worse the bikes were owned by 2 strapping security guards who had nipped to the village for some No6 fags and some pork scratchings.

We got away with it, dunno how as we were doing the bicycle equivalent of two steps forward and one step back.
Reaching the tents we hid the bikes under a nearby transit van, I thought it was a good idea to sleep under the van too, just to make sure no one nicked them. WTF?

Both bikes are still in use today, proving that they dont make em like they used to!

BM
 
#10
Don't know about best but this is the strangest....

I awoke the next morning to find I had a manhole cover in the front garden, thought to myself what the f*ck why would someone dump a manhole cover in my garden?

On closer inspection of my hands and clothes I came to the confusing relisation I had hauled this thing back from f*ck knows where.

God know's how or why.

I still am puzzled as to exactly how the hell I managed it.
 
#11
About 20 years ago me and the mates were coming home from the Botanic Inn pissed as usual, someone spied a large ukka plant outside this house and one of the mates said "his wife always wanted one" so we lifted the plant and large terracotta pot and proceeded to take it to his house.

Him and his wife split last year and she took the bloody thing with her.
 
#12
Stole a canal boat 'The Tamarisk'. Me and two mates sailed it the wrong way up the Bridgewater canal in Runcorn after an all day sesh. Police were waiting for us and we were arrested after they stopped laughing. £10 fine, £10 court costs and bound over to keep the peace for 12 months. We even got a mention on Granada Reports. The local paper ran a story titled 'Three men in a boat; Drunk'.
 
#13
A street between town and the barracks in Germany had car garages of most makes. Walking around the singlies block and seeing all the room size flags, it was like the Geneva Motor show.... without the cars.

Personally, at that time I had a thing for Mercedes Benz hub caps, one from each car. I noticed how pretty they looked in all their various colours. In my singly room I had about 20 of them. I was a jerk.
 
#14
Fally 98ish, RHF LAD's full rugby strip, post protectors and tackle pads. They returned the compliments when they nicked half our plaques fron LAD HQ.
 
#15
A few of the REME(G) Rugby guys got invited back to the annual Corps rugby dinner in 1995-96. Four of us got sh1tfaced on the minibus trip back while a certain little Jock fella drove(he was one of the coaches at the time) and desided that we needed a prof.
After dinner we were all invited back to the SEE rugby club for drinks. On spotting a wrought iron gate from SEME rugby club proudly on display in them down the roads clubhouse we knew what the prof was going to be.
One of us started performing at the bar, while the other 4 man-handled the gate to the nearest window(we were on the first floor) and pushed said gate out of window. We managed to get the bloody thing all the way back to Osnabruck in our minibus before someone realised who it was that knicked it.
We then had yer woman Gellespie on our cases saying it was not a fair steal and that we should not have knicked it!!!!! Oh really??? what was it doing in SEE clubhouse if it was not a fair steal????????
We took loads of photos of the gate at REME places all over Germany before returning it to SEME where it should have stayed.
 
#16
i once nicked a for sale sign outside this house and moved it to another house. funny as **** seeing people enquiring about the house, it brought the old lady to tears,
 
#18
went mountain biking in the rockies on r and r and stopped off in banff,we took a 4tonner on the piss and we somehow woke up the next morning with street signs,wrought iron benches and various pub signs mysteriously loaded in the back!! :D
 
#19
i_love_kermit said:
Thats awesome, can just imagine it!!!! How the hell did they get it out of the bar?!
They didn't , they nicked from a place caled Hyde Park which was an OOB establishment in the Traz and which at that time was in a huge Circus tent which was quite appropriate actually.... Sex drugs & rock n roll.... most of the "clientel " were out of their minds on some kind of chemical or other the remainder were just howling so probably nobody noticed or even offered to help :lol:
 
#20
Playing Rugby at Hildesheim against an RTR they had no beer in their bar only white wine, so we drank it like beer. We came back with the Regimental Flag, A large Brass bell that was a Korean war artifact and the 2 i/c of the Guard (Some Scots bloke).
The RMP were waiting at Fally butt we managed to fritter all away. There was bollocks on for weeks afterwards. At least we fed and watered the 2i/c.
 

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