Best spam email I've ever received

RBMK

LE
Book Reviewer
He didn't. The hacker just sent me an extremely bizarre video of RBMK furiously wanking into an old green army smock while wearing nothing but a respirator and nipple clamps.
Point of order:

the very thought of me, a mere civvy, wearing army gear never mind nipple clamps will give PC SUPA STUPID apoplexy and possibly a heart attack.



Anyone got some spare DPM?
 

Londo

LE
GetAttachmentThumbnail

Hi my friend.
I want to wish you excellent mood.
I will immediately inform you why I am writing.
I looking for a man for a serious relationship.
I just received your e-mail at a marriage agency.
Plucked up courage and write you message.
If you are true free man who wants serious relationship with a woman, then we could to tie our acquaintance.
To do this send me an answer.
My image you will find attachment to this letter.
My name is Mariya. I am 28 years old.
I'm living in the city Novosibirsk.
It is the third most populous city Rus.
I hope that distance does not bother you?
I heard about different examples where men and women from different countries manage to become halves of one whole.
I think that each of us has the right to be happy and should at least once take the first step to get this is happiness.
Now I'm doing it! Probably I should a little more tell you about myself?
Let's not rush and leave this for next message.
I promise to tell more about myself in my following letter and also to attach more than mine picture.
If you are not interested in this, then I sorry for the concern.
You can to respond to me to mine electronic box.
Answer me only if you need stable relationship.
I will wait your answer with huge impatience.
Have a nice time.
I wouldn't mind a nice time with this one .
But who sent the e-mail ?
 

RBMK

LE
Book Reviewer
This morning's contribution caught in my spam trap:


Hello there my porn master
I am Nadean. I am from Moldova. I saw you on instagram o:)
I miss you. I w͡ish I could talk to you and hea֙r your vo̺ice. I would likͩe to wrap my arms around you, snuggle on a couch and waًtch a good movie with you. What sort of movi̢es dͯo you like to watch? I get a real satisf̧action out of communٚicating with you too darling֤.
the profiٓl͌e is - http://Nadean.datewithbeauty.cn
I am so horny-Nadean84
I hope you will find m֘e there and we will become friends :-* Welcome!


Comes from this email: ynevoge74@movistar.cl
Chilean email address, Chinese web link, and I don't have an instagram account.

In your own time.
 
The best spam email I've ever had was all about the flag and the Constitution, and ended with "y'all."
 

G4Star

On ROPS
On ROPs
Feck, I'm doomed....

Hello there!

Unfortunately, there are some bad news for you.
Around several months ago I have obtained access to your devices that you were using to browse internet.
Subsequently, I have proceeded with tracking down internet activities of yours.

Below, is the sequence of past events:
In the past, I have bought access from hackers to numerous email accounts (today, that is a very straightforward task that can be done online).
Clearly, I have effortlessly logged in to email account of yours (XXX@XXX.net).

A week after that, I have managed to install Trojan virus to Operating Systems of all your devices that are used for email access.
Actually, that was quite simple (because you were clicking the links in inbox emails).
All smart things are quite straightforward. (>_<)

The software of mine allows me to access to all controllers in your devices, such as video camera, microphone and keyboard.
I have managed to download all your personal data, as well as web browsing history and photos to my servers.
I can access all messengers of yours, as well as emails, social networks, contacts list and even chat history.
My virus unceasingly refreshes its signatures (since it is driver-based), and hereby stays invisible for your antivirus.

So, by now you should already understand the reason why I remained unnoticed until this very moment...

While collecting your information, I have found out that you are also a huge fan of websites for adults.
You truly enjoy checking out porn websites and watching dirty videos, while having a lot of kinky fun.
I have recorded several kinky scenes of yours and montaged some videos, where you reach orgasms while passionately masturbating.

If you still doubt my serious intentions, it only takes couple mouse clicks to share your videos with your friends, relatives and even colleagues.
It is also not a problem for me to allow those vids for access of public as well.
I truly believe, you would not want this to occur, understanding how special are the videos you love watching, (you are clearly aware of that) all that stuff can result in a real disaster for you.

Let's resolve it like this:
All you need is $1850 USD transfer to my account (bitcoin equivalent based on exchange rate during your transfer), and after the transaction is successful, I will proceed to delete all that kinky stuff without delay.
Afterwards, we can pretend that we have never met before. In addition, I assure you that all the harmful software will be deleted from all your devices. Be sure, I keep my promises.

That is quite a fair deal with a low price, bearing in mind that I have spent a lot of effort to go through your profile and traffic for a long period.
If you are unaware how to buy and send bitcoins - it can be easily fixed by searching all related information online.

Below is bitcoin wallet of mine: 16JbvoUPw6VjerNRQBQ6viBjLvmBuAuLcB

You are given not more than 48 hours after you have opened this email (2 days to be precise).

Below is the list of actions that you should not attempt doing:


Below is the list of things you don't need to be concerned about:

- Don't you worry, I can still track it, after the transaction is successfully completed, because I still monitor all your activities (trojan virus of mine includes a remote-control option, just like TeamViewer).

- Believe me, it is meaningless for me to keep on making your life complicated. If I indeed wanted to make it happen, it would happen long time ago!

Everything will be carried out based on fairness!

Before I forget...moving forward try not to get involved in this kind of situations anymore!
An advice from me - regularly change all the passwords to your accounts.



Another internet ******.
If anyone is interested in replying then the originating email is:

rogeliophillip11@yen.feamail.com
The advice when surfing adult sites is to use a VPN so a friend says.
Or you could reply & advise them to ring you on 02072301212 & ask for Phil McCavity
 

Londo

LE
This morning's contribution caught in my spam trap:


Hello there my porn master
I am Nadean. I am from Moldova. I saw you on instagram o:)
I miss you. I w͡ish I could talk to you and hea֙r your vo̺ice. I would likͩe to wrap my arms around you, snuggle on a couch and waًtch a good movie with you. What sort of movi̢es dͯo you like to watch? I get a real satisf̧action out of communٚicating with you too darling֤.
the profiٓl͌e is - http://Nadean.datewithbeauty.cn
I am so horny-Nadean84
I hope you will find m֘e there and we will become friends :-* Welcome!


Comes from this email: ynevoge74@movistar.cl
Chilean email address, Chinese web link, and I don't have an instagram account.

In your own time.
She's gen.
 

G4Star

On ROPS
On ROPs
I got told the other day that my Great Uncle Cedric of the DRC had died.
Left me over $11 Million and all to me, no mention of Dad, Aunty or my Sisters.
But hey well it's all mine, I gave my details as:

Ben Dover
Broadmoor
Kentigern Drive
Crowthorne
Berkshire
RG45 7EG

Tel:01344 773 111

Hope they ring.
 
This morning's contribution caught in my spam trap:


Hello there my porn master
I am Nadean. I am from Moldova. I saw you on instagram o:)
I miss you. I w͡ish I could talk to you and hea֙r your vo̺ice. I would likͩe to wrap my arms around you, snuggle on a couch and waًtch a good movie with you. What sort of movi̢es dͯo you like to watch? I get a real satisf̧action out of communٚicating with you too darling֤.
the profiٓl͌e is -
I am so horny-Nadean84
I hope you will find m֘e there and we will become friends :-* Welcome!


Comes from this email:
Chilean email address, Chinese web link, and I don't have an instagram account.

In your own time.

Well done for re-posting the links.

You're the bloke who walks round your house complaining about how you just trod in a pile of dogshit outside the front door, aren't you?
 

Goatman

ADC
Book Reviewer
Red Dwarf Walt.

' SOME MISTAKE I THINK.....I'LL BE SEEING YOU...EVENTUALLY.'

I got told the other day that my Great Uncle Cedric of the DRC had died.
Left me over $11 Million and all to me, no mention of Dad, Aunty or my Sisters.
But hey well it's all mine, I gave my details as:

Ben Dover
Broadmoor
Kentigern Drive
Crowthorne
Berkshire
RG45 7EG

Tel:01344 773 111

Hope they ring.

Ah....Seymour Butz's cell-mate ?
 

Blogg

LE
How could anybody refuse this wonderful offer?

So wonderful in fact it was sent to me 8 times



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