Best spam email I've ever received

Gone2ratshat

Old-Salt
Feck, I'm doomed....

Hello there!

Unfortunately, there are some bad news for you.
Around several months ago I have obtained access to your devices that you were using to browse internet.
Subsequently, I have proceeded with tracking down internet activities of yours.

Below, is the sequence of past events:
In the past, I have bought access from hackers to numerous email accounts (today, that is a very straightforward task that can be done online).
Clearly, I have effortlessly logged in to email account of yours (XXX@XXX.net).

A week after that, I have managed to install Trojan virus to Operating Systems of all your devices that are used for email access.
Actually, that was quite simple (because you were clicking the links in inbox emails).
All smart things are quite straightforward. (>_<)

The software of mine allows me to access to all controllers in your devices, such as video camera, microphone and keyboard.
I have managed to download all your personal data, as well as web browsing history and photos to my servers.
I can access all messengers of yours, as well as emails, social networks, contacts list and even chat history.
My virus unceasingly refreshes its signatures (since it is driver-based), and hereby stays invisible for your antivirus.

So, by now you should already understand the reason why I remained unnoticed until this very moment...

While collecting your information, I have found out that you are also a huge fan of websites for adults.
You truly enjoy checking out porn websites and watching dirty videos, while having a lot of kinky fun.
I have recorded several kinky scenes of yours and montaged some videos, where you reach orgasms while passionately masturbating.

If you still doubt my serious intentions, it only takes couple mouse clicks to share your videos with your friends, relatives and even colleagues.
It is also not a problem for me to allow those vids for access of public as well.
I truly believe, you would not want this to occur, understanding how special are the videos you love watching, (you are clearly aware of that) all that stuff can result in a real disaster for you.

Let's resolve it like this:
All you need is $1850 USD transfer to my account (bitcoin equivalent based on exchange rate during your transfer), and after the transaction is successful, I will proceed to delete all that kinky stuff without delay.
Afterwards, we can pretend that we have never met before. In addition, I assure you that all the harmful software will be deleted from all your devices. Be sure, I keep my promises.

That is quite a fair deal with a low price, bearing in mind that I have spent a lot of effort to go through your profile and traffic for a long period.
If you are unaware how to buy and send bitcoins - it can be easily fixed by searching all related information online.

Below is bitcoin wallet of mine: 16JbvoUPw6VjerNRQBQ6viBjLvmBuAuLcB

You are given not more than 48 hours after you have opened this email (2 days to be precise).

Below is the list of actions that you should not attempt doing:


Below is the list of things you don't need to be concerned about:

- Don't you worry, I can still track it, after the transaction is successfully completed, because I still monitor all your activities (trojan virus of mine includes a remote-control option, just like TeamViewer).

- Believe me, it is meaningless for me to keep on making your life complicated. If I indeed wanted to make it happen, it would happen long time ago!

Everything will be carried out based on fairness!

Before I forget...moving forward try not to get involved in this kind of situations anymore!
An advice from me - regularly change all the passwords to your accounts.



Another internet ******.
If anyone is interested in replying then the originating email is:

rogeliophillip11@yen.feamail.com
Have you paid them ?
 

Londo

LE
Feck, I'm doomed....

Hello there!

Unfortunately, there are some bad news for you.
Around several months ago I have obtained access to your devices that you were using to browse internet.
Subsequently, I have proceeded with tracking down internet activities of yours.

Below, is the sequence of past events:
In the past, I have bought access from hackers to numerous email accounts (today, that is a very straightforward task that can be done online).
Clearly, I have effortlessly logged in to email account of yours (XXX@XXX.net).

A week after that, I have managed to install Trojan virus to Operating Systems of all your devices that are used for email access.
Actually, that was quite simple (because you were clicking the links in inbox emails).
All smart things are quite straightforward. (>_<)

The software of mine allows me to access to all controllers in your devices, such as video camera, microphone and keyboard.
I have managed to download all your personal data, as well as web browsing history and photos to my servers.
I can access all messengers of yours, as well as emails, social networks, contacts list and even chat history.
My virus unceasingly refreshes its signatures (since it is driver-based), and hereby stays invisible for your antivirus.

So, by now you should already understand the reason why I remained unnoticed until this very moment...

While collecting your information, I have found out that you are also a huge fan of websites for adults.
You truly enjoy checking out porn websites and watching dirty videos, while having a lot of kinky fun.
I have recorded several kinky scenes of yours and montaged some videos, where you reach orgasms while passionately masturbating.

If you still doubt my serious intentions, it only takes couple mouse clicks to share your videos with your friends, relatives and even colleagues.
It is also not a problem for me to allow those vids for access of public as well.
I truly believe, you would not want this to occur, understanding how special are the videos you love watching, (you are clearly aware of that) all that stuff can result in a real disaster for you.

Let's resolve it like this:
All you need is $1850 USD transfer to my account (bitcoin equivalent based on exchange rate during your transfer), and after the transaction is successful, I will proceed to delete all that kinky stuff without delay.
Afterwards, we can pretend that we have never met before. In addition, I assure you that all the harmful software will be deleted from all your devices. Be sure, I keep my promises.

That is quite a fair deal with a low price, bearing in mind that I have spent a lot of effort to go through your profile and traffic for a long period.
If you are unaware how to buy and send bitcoins - it can be easily fixed by searching all related information online.

Below is bitcoin wallet of mine: 16JbvoUPw6VjerNRQBQ6viBjLvmBuAuLcB

You are given not more than 48 hours after you have opened this email (2 days to be precise).

Below is the list of actions that you should not attempt doing:


Below is the list of things you don't need to be concerned about:

- Don't you worry, I can still track it, after the transaction is successfully completed, because I still monitor all your activities (trojan virus of mine includes a remote-control option, just like TeamViewer).

- Believe me, it is meaningless for me to keep on making your life complicated. If I indeed wanted to make it happen, it would happen long time ago!

Everything will be carried out based on fairness!

Before I forget...moving forward try not to get involved in this kind of situations anymore!
An advice from me - regularly change all the passwords to your accounts.



Another internet ******.
If anyone is interested in replying then the originating email is:

rogeliophillip11@yen.feamail.com
Did you pay up ?
Bugga ! Beaten to it .
 

Ritch

LE
I got one the other day purporting to be from Demi Moore who told me she'd found me whilst browsing FaceAche (which I don't have) and that she "liked my face".

So not only is she technologically magnificent, she's also in need of a guide dog as I am as ugly as a wart on Shrek's arse.
 
I got one the other day purporting to be from Demi Moore who told me she'd found me whilst browsing FaceAche (which I don't have) and that she "liked my face".

So not only is she technologically magnificent, she's also in need of a guide dog as I am as ugly as a wart on Shrek's arse.
Clearly she has seen me and got herself confused.
 

Russ Abbot

Clanker
BTC Address 16JbvoUPw6VjerNRQBQ6viBjLvmBuAuLcB Copy address to clipboard
Balance Balance
0.03716 BTC
with 7 confirmations 1 hour 14 minutes
...
dam, you should never pay up. Oft said but there it is. Moral is check on arrse first...
 

RBMK

LE
Book Reviewer
Have you paid them ?
No.

I'm not stupid enough to browse porn sites without being in "private browsing" mode. I don't have any porn site accounts to hack anyway, and if he's put trojans on all my machines then he will have had to get it onto 3x PCs, 1x Linux and a Mac. Oh, and I don't save porn on any machine.
 

Gone2ratshat

Old-Salt
No.

I'm not stupid enough to browse porn sites without being in "private browsing" mode. I don't have any porn site accounts to hack anyway, and if he's put trojans on all my machines then he will have had to get it onto 3x PCs, 1x Linux and a Mac. Oh, and I don't save porn on any machine.
I was joking.
 

Hairy-boab

Old-Salt
We have a mailing list at work, which for some utterly stupid reason is a) Enormous (essentially all 1000+ employees); b) Includes all very, very senior management (President downwards...)

A few weeks ago the inevitable happened and it got a spam message threatening the usual web cam **** recordings etc.

Cue 10 minutes later, a 'reply to all' from a student intern in 3 cm high red block capitals: "GO **** YOURSELF!!!!". Cue many very surprised recipients, who had missed the first email due to their spam filters.

I think IT finally closed that list to all posters.
 

Norfolkred1

Old-Salt
Does this qualify as SPAM. Had to keep this one to prove I received it.
1633458527943.jpeg
 

RBMK

LE
Book Reviewer
I know that arrse is a bit like a lonely hearts club, so just for you lonely old souls:


Well well pecker ..
I am Arabel. I am from Russia. I saw you on instagram ;-)
I am a simple woman with a big dream to create a happy loving fàmily a͠nd I will work har֛d for it. I am a very optimistic and positive pͪerson. I co͠nsider that every prob͞lٝem has a solution. I am a very easy going person, I love meeting people and just enjoying the si֣mple things in life.
the account is here: http://Arabel.beautygirls.cn

Do you love me
Arabel89
I hop̽e you wil̈l find me there and we will become frieͫn͛dָs :-0 Tȧlk soon!




From this email address:

sasbipartite19@safaricom.co.ke

PS: I'm not on instagram so no persec involved ;)
ETA: .ke is the domain for Kenya and .cn is China.
 

Londo

LE
I know that arrse is a bit like a lonely hearts club, so just for you lonely old souls:


Well well pecker ..
I am Arabel. I am from Russia. I saw you on instagram ;-)
I am a simple woman with a big dream to create a happy loving fàmily a͠nd I will work har֛d for it. I am a very optimistic and positive pͪerson. I co͠nsider that every prob͞lٝem has a solution. I am a very easy going person, I love meeting people and just enjoying the si֣mple things in life.
the account is here: http://Arabel.beautygirls.cn

Do you love me
Arabel89
I hop̽e you wil̈l find me there and we will become frieͫn͛dָs :-0 Tȧlk soon!




From this email address:

sasbipartite19@safaricom.co.ke

PS: I'm not on instagram so no persec involved ;)
ETA: .ke is the domain for Kenya and .cn is China.
Is this her ?
P.S That link is dodgy according to my anti-virus
russian dating sausages.jpg
 

FORMER_FYRDMAN

LE
Book Reviewer
I have fond memories of the spam note which began:

Dear Sir/Madam, you have been carefully selected...
 

Gone2ratshat

Old-Salt
GetAttachmentThumbnail

Hi my friend.
I want to wish you excellent mood.
I will immediately inform you why I am writing.
I looking for a man for a serious relationship.
I just received your e-mail at a marriage agency.
Plucked up courage and write you message.
If you are true free man who wants serious relationship with a woman, then we could to tie our acquaintance.
To do this send me an answer.
My image you will find attachment to this letter.
My name is Mariya. I am 28 years old.
I'm living in the city Novosibirsk.
It is the third most populous city Rus.
I hope that distance does not bother you?
I heard about different examples where men and women from different countries manage to become halves of one whole.
I think that each of us has the right to be happy and should at least once take the first step to get this is happiness.
Now I'm doing it! Probably I should a little more tell you about myself?
Let's not rush and leave this for next message.
I promise to tell more about myself in my following letter and also to attach more than mine picture.
If you are not interested in this, then I sorry for the concern.
You can to respond to me to mine electronic box.
Answer me only if you need stable relationship.
I will wait your answer with huge impatience.
Have a nice time.
 

Hairy-boab

Old-Salt
GetAttachmentThumbnail

Hi my friend.
I want to wish you excellent mood.
I will immediately inform you why I am writing.
I looking for a man for a serious relationship.
I just received your e-mail at a marriage agency.
Plucked up courage and write you message.
If you are true free man who wants serious relationship with a woman, then we could to tie our acquaintance.
To do this send me an answer.
My image you will find attachment to this letter.
My name is Mariya. I am 28 years old.
I'm living in the city Novosibirsk.
It is the third most populous city Rus.
I hope that distance does not bother you?
I heard about different examples where men and women from different countries manage to become halves of one whole.
I think that each of us has the right to be happy and should at least once take the first step to get this is happiness.
Now I'm doing it! Probably I should a little more tell you about myself?
Let's not rush and leave this for next message.
I promise to tell more about myself in my following letter and also to attach more than mine picture.
If you are not interested in this, then I sorry for the concern.
You can to respond to me to mine electronic box.
Answer me only if you need stable relationship.
I will wait your answer with huge impatience.
Have a nice time.
I knew a guy who went to Novosibirsk for work. His Russian boss told me that the ladies were all over him. Until he opened his mouth, said he quite liked Russia and wouldn’t mind staying!

Picture the girls leaving in a cartoon cloud of dust!
 

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