Best spam email I've ever received

RBMK

LE
Book Reviewer
I received this in my inbox today.

Please bear in mind that my Linkedin profile clearly says that I'm a director of a specialist engineering safety company and that my expertise is in fire, explosion and toxic chemical hazards:

I've remove details for Persec:

Hi RBMK,

My name is Mike ******** and I am the Director of International Development for ********* Pizza, one of the world's largest pizza chains.

Since 1959, we have grown from a single store to a global chain with thousands of stores in 27 countries. Our family-owned and privately-held pizza chain has mastered the recipe for success in the exciting $145 billion worldwide pizza category.

Top accolades include:

We are the world’s third-largest pizza brand;
We were recently named Best Food & Drink Franchise by the 2021 Global Franchise Awards
Our breakthrough Pizza Portal pickup is the FIRST heated, self-service mobile order pickup station in the restaurant industry; and
Our value-based business model and world-class support provide a potential for a high return on investment

Right now, we are excited to announce the next phase of our franchise expansion in England. I came across your profile on LinkedIn and felt like you might be a great fit to discuss this new franchise opportunity.

Please let me know if you are interested in speaking or learning more.

Thanks,
Mike



My reply:

Mike,

Thank you for your message.

However, I can't see any possible connection between my skills as a Fire & Explosion Hazard specialist and running a pizza franchise. Perhaps you have mistaken me for someone else or else not read my LinkedIn profile correctly?

Please let me be clear:

I have absolutely no interest in running a fast food franchise especially in a UK market which is already overcrowded with similar franchises and in a Covid environment where thousands of restaurants are going bust every month and where it's difficult to recruit and retain good staff.

Please remove me from your contact list and don't contact me further.
Thanks
RBMK


I have to say that this was undoubtedly one of the strangest albeit amusiing invitations I've ever received.
 

RBMK

LE
Book Reviewer
You replied to email spam?
This one is from a real person with a real email address who is trying to recruit franchisees for his business expansion.

It's not malicious, just unwanted crap spam.
 

philc

LE
I received this in my inbox today.

Please bear in mind that my Linkedin profile clearly says that I'm a director of a specialist engineering safety company and that my expertise is in fire, explosion and toxic chemical hazards:

I've remove details for Persec:

Hi RBMK,

My name is Mike ******** and I am the Director of International Development for ********* Pizza, one of the world's largest pizza chains.

Since 1959, we have grown from a single store to a global chain with thousands of stores in 27 countries. Our family-owned and privately-held pizza chain has mastered the recipe for success in the exciting $145 billion worldwide pizza category.

Top accolades include:

We are the world’s third-largest pizza brand;
We were recently named Best Food & Drink Franchise by the 2021 Global Franchise Awards
Our breakthrough Pizza Portal pickup is the FIRST heated, self-service mobile order pickup station in the restaurant industry; and
Our value-based business model and world-class support provide a potential for a high return on investment

Right now, we are excited to announce the next phase of our franchise expansion in England. I came across your profile on LinkedIn and felt like you might be a great fit to discuss this new franchise opportunity.

Please let me know if you are interested in speaking or learning more.

Thanks,
Mike



My reply:

Mike,

Thank you for your message.

However, I can't see any possible connection between my skills as a Fire & Explosion Hazard specialist and running a pizza franchise. Perhaps you have mistaken me for someone else or else not read my LinkedIn profile correctly?

Please let me be clear:

I have absolutely no interest in running a fast food franchise especially in a UK market which is already overcrowded with similar franchises and in a Covid environment where thousands of restaurants are going bust every month and where it's difficult to recruit and retain good staff.

Please remove me from your contact list and don't contact me further.
Thanks
RBMK


I have to say that this was undoubtedly one of the strangest albeit amusiing invitations I've ever received.

You clearly have not been to the Pizza Hut in Delhi where expertise in fire, explosion and toxic hazards are useful tools on a daily occurrence.
 
You know that it takes about 5 seconds on google to find out it's for Little Caesars right? All from the information contained within your post?
 

RBMK

LE
Book Reviewer
You know that it takes about 5 seconds on google to find out it's for Little Caesars right? All from the information contained within your post?
If you really want to be bothered, then yes, probably.

It makes a nice [amusing] change from the "I am the widow of Reverend Dr George Mbongo and I have $25,000,000 ..." or the "We are large IT company in India offering SEO services..." which are what I normally get.
 
I received this in my inbox today.

Please bear in mind that my Linkedin profile clearly says that I'm a director of a specialist engineering safety company and that my expertise is in fire, explosion and toxic chemical hazards:

I've remove details for Persec:

Hi RBMK,

My name is Mike ******** and I am the Director of International Development for ********* Pizza, one of the world's largest pizza chains.

Since 1959, we have grown from a single store to a global chain with thousands of stores in 27 countries. Our family-owned and privately-held pizza chain has mastered the recipe for success in the exciting $145 billion worldwide pizza category.

Top accolades include:

We are the world’s third-largest pizza brand;
We were recently named Best Food & Drink Franchise by the 2021 Global Franchise Awards
Our breakthrough Pizza Portal pickup is the FIRST heated, self-service mobile order pickup station in the restaurant industry; and
Our value-based business model and world-class support provide a potential for a high return on investment

Right now, we are excited to announce the next phase of our franchise expansion in England. I came across your profile on LinkedIn and felt like you might be a great fit to discuss this new franchise opportunity.

Please let me know if you are interested in speaking or learning more.

Thanks,
Mike



My reply:

Mike,

Thank you for your message.

However, I can't see any possible connection between my skills as a Fire & Explosion Hazard specialist and running a pizza franchise. Perhaps you have mistaken me for someone else or else not read my LinkedIn profile correctly?

Please let me be clear:

I have absolutely no interest in running a fast food franchise especially in a UK market which is already overcrowded with similar franchises and in a Covid environment where thousands of restaurants are going bust every month and where it's difficult to recruit and retain good staff.

Please remove me from your contact list and don't contact me further.
Thanks
RBMK


I have to say that this was undoubtedly one of the strangest albeit amusiing invitations I've ever received.
On the plus side i know where to direct my questions on the LEL of H2 now
 
You replied to email spam?
I set up an auto reply to certain type of spam email I was getting bombarded with.

Since I run the company mail server, I setup a new mail account under the name of "Billy Connolly", hid it from my users but automatically forwarded all the spam I was getting to that account. I had a mail rule setup in that mailbox to reply "Go Fcuk Yourself!" to any incoming email then delete that mail (to keep the inbox from filling up)

I actually saw a decrease in spam email about a week after that.
 
Last edited:

RBMK

LE
Book Reviewer
On the plus side i know where to direct my questions on the LEL of H2 now
Limits are 4 - 75% in air @25C
Wider in oxygen.

I can also tell you the minimum ignition energy, laminar flame speed and autoignition temperature if you need this. ;)
 

RBMK

LE
Book Reviewer
As I've posted elsewhere, this is one of our typical replies to spam. The phone number is Scotland Yard. We have some variations on this which have 0900 numbers [premium rate sex chatlines].


MESSAGE NOT READ
MESSAGE REF: 445VZZKFBG88OIDDFBYEFF199

MESSAGE REFUSED BY SERVER XXXXXXXX.COM

ERROR 117: SENDER DOMAIN ON SPAM BLACKLIST
ERROR 231: SPAM DETECTION POSITIVE
ERROR 559: MESSAGE BLOCKED BY SPAMTRAP [TM]

* YOU ARE SEEING THIS MESSAGE BECAUSE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS IS ON OUR SPAM BLACKLIST.

* YOUR MESSAGE HAS BEEN AUTOMATICALLY BLOCKED BY OUR ANTI-SPAM SYSTEM AND WILL NOT BE READ.

* IF YOU BELIEVE THIS IS IN ERROR THEN CALL OUR IT TEAM ON +44 20 7230 1212

ADMIN
 
I set up an auto reply to certain type of spam email I was getting bombarded with.

Since I run the company mail server, I setup a new mail account under the name of "Billy Connolly", hid it from my users but automatically forwarded all the spam I was getting to that account. I had a mail rule setup in that mailbox to reply "Go Fcuk Yourself!" to any incoming email then delete that mail (to keep the inbox from filling up)

I actually saw a decrease in spam email about a week after that.

Should have set up greylisting instead,
 
I received this in my inbox today.

Please bear in mind that my Linkedin profile clearly says that I'm a director of a specialist engineering safety company and that my expertise is in fire, explosion and toxic chemical hazards:

I've remove details for Persec:

Hi RBMK,

My name is Mike ******** and I am the Director of International Development for ********* Pizza, one of the world's largest pizza chains.

Since 1959, we have grown from a single store to a global chain with thousands of stores in 27 countries. Our family-owned and privately-held pizza chain has mastered the recipe for success in the exciting $145 billion worldwide pizza category.

Top accolades include:

We are the world’s third-largest pizza brand;
We were recently named Best Food & Drink Franchise by the 2021 Global Franchise Awards
Our breakthrough Pizza Portal pickup is the FIRST heated, self-service mobile order pickup station in the restaurant industry; and
Our value-based business model and world-class support provide a potential for a high return on investment

Right now, we are excited to announce the next phase of our franchise expansion in England. I came across your profile on LinkedIn and felt like you might be a great fit to discuss this new franchise opportunity.

Please let me know if you are interested in speaking or learning more.

Thanks,
Mike



My reply:

Mike,

Thank you for your message.

However, I can't see any possible connection between my skills as a Fire & Explosion Hazard specialist and running a pizza franchise. Perhaps you have mistaken me for someone else or else not read my LinkedIn profile correctly?

Please let me be clear:

I have absolutely no interest in running a fast food franchise especially in a UK market which is already overcrowded with similar franchises and in a Covid environment where thousands of restaurants are going bust every month and where it's difficult to recruit and retain good staff.

Please remove me from your contact list and don't contact me further.
Thanks
RBMK


I have to say that this was undoubtedly one of the strangest albeit amusiing invitations I've ever received.
I don’t suppose you could knock me up an American Hot before you fold.

No sweetcorn would be lovely.
 

Goatman

ADC
Book Reviewer
I don’t suppose you could knock me up a Klatchian Hot before you fold ?

No extra rats would be lovely.

Fixed for the Ankh Morpork Variation i.a.w with Mornington Crescent SOPs - nil consideration required.


PS < I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU....BUT I COULD MURDER A CURRY.....>
 

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