Best shit you ever had.

Yes I know there is a sport of kings thread, about 7 years old.

Today on the throne I had a fantastic crap, but on thinking I have had better, I remember one , driving across the Ludlow race course and golf club , caught short and had to go , the turtle was not just touching cloth but prodding his head into my grundies and pushing through. I has to go and sorry Mr. groundsman but at the time I did think dropping off a curly wurly into the 18 hole did seem like a funny thing to do.
 

Drivers_lag

On ROPS
On ROPs
Fail.

No proper story to start the thread off and no photos of magnificent turds.

Must try harder.
 

Gout Man

LE
Book Reviewer
The one after been bunged up for five ******* days and feeling very ill.
Sheer ******* bliss!
 
Scotland, on a walking exped. After a day when it had pi$$ed down so much the only part of me that was dry was a small area of my back. Pitched camp in the valley and the rain stopped. Into trainers, Ron hills and a t shirt as my oppo got scoff on and I reached for the cumfibum. Legged it up the hill as the turtle poked its nose out. Then as the sun shone throughout he clouds, I saw an eagle above and on the opposite side of the valley was a magnificent stag with his heard. Add into that a truly monumental sh1t and all was good in the world.
 
Some I bought off this black guy in Canvey Island.
 
Then as the sun shone throughout he clouds, I saw an eagle above and on the opposite side of the valley was a magnificent stag with his heard. Add into that a truly monumental sh1t and all was good in the world.

Brought me to tears that did. Now that's facking poetry!
 

The_Snail

ADC
RIP
Function.
 
A pile of Afghan black resembling a Welsh slag heap, from a bong full of warm whisky.
 
Scotland, on a walking exped. After a day when it had pi$$ed down so much the only part of me that was dry was a small area of my back. Pitched camp in the valley and the rain stopped. Into trainers, Ron hills and a t shirt as my oppo got scoff on and I reached for the cumfibum. Legged it up the hill as the turtle poked its nose out. Then as the sun shone throughout he clouds, I saw an eagle above and on the opposite side of the valley was a magnificent stag with his heard. Add into that a truly monumental sh1t and all was good in the world.

If only Julie Andrews had come running down the hill side topless with a roll of aloe vera moistened double quilted finest as well eh.
 
Try an L5/S1 discectomy, and a week in a hospital bed unable to move, and with your tea towel holder firmly clamped shut in protest.

Then given NHS turbolax, doubling to the bogs on a Zimmer frame, in a haze of morphine, and opening the bomb bay doors for a massed raid on the farterland.

Having to be carried back by 2 nurses with your bum showing through a hospital gown.
 
After a week on compo and perched over a Land rover rocker cover on full auto.I swear it looked like it was squeezed from a tube and covered the length of the cover.

What is it with pooping in strange places that make it more pleasurable?
 

The_Snail

ADC
RIP

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