Just finishing work and looking forwar dto getting home and having a good old fashioned cr*p. Got me to thinking what is the best stool I've ever laid. Back when I was still in short trousers I had a bout of constipation while on exercise. Two weeks in beautiful Breacon had turned my body into something an east european goat herder would have been ashamed of. I stumbled back to my room after having cleaned weapons etc and was looking forward to washing the filth from my body. Then it struck. My guts seized and I felt like I was giving birth. My constipation was no more and I had 10 days of compo to get rid of. With sweating brow I ran, Norman Wisdom style down the hall to the throne. Shaking with pain and anticipation I enetered the stall and braced myself. The pain. The pain. 2 weeks of minimal washing had left my arrse hair in something of a matted state. To break through was like the Yanks getting through the bocage in '44. With much effort the stool appeared. The size was something to behold. My arrse was at full stretch and I felt like I was being fisted by Popeye. After much grunting, wailing and a few tears, it left. Like a professional diver, no splash, it just glided off. I felt like a new man. 2 stone lighter and with a smile. When people ask what are my most memerable experiences, this is one. As far as I know, the stool was bought by the Dutch and is now used as a dyke.