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Best place to retire to ?

Eh Bye Gum
Well Slim Will has lived in Chiang Mai for 9 years now. (Spot the Wopper, not Will. )
Been coming every year since 1979, when Brunei based.
Divorced from Thai wife ten years ago.
Own room in an Condo block near CM university, it's mine, Thai Government says so, so cost of living cheap.
The basics water, electricity, food must be for Thai population pay same price, just paid 2.50 quid for 2 kilo free range chicken, 3.80 for 4 kilo pork roll, in the cooker now, 2.50 quid for a kilo of Beef, possibly Buffalo at local market, now in slow cooker withe onion and potato for a stew. No shortage of reasonably priced Foreign food or the expensive kind.
Virtually impossible to become resident, Theoretical possible but very rare in practice.
Bar girls, lady boys, no problem you can meet them 365 days a year if that's what you want.
No shortage of females who have not sacrificed their amateur standing, even I have them queuing up, just a matter of living and letting folk get to know you.
Large expat community, all nations, English speaking Dominate.
I own a car, a scooter and have owned about 6 large capacity Motorcycles.
Get caught by law, motoring offence, say once a year for nothing, normally say a Fiver ( B200 ).
Barstweards did me for a Tenner last year for going throw a Red Light. No points, No Breathalyzer just go main Police Station and pay, Cnuts as I asked the Sgt, Since when as it been an offence to pass a red light ? he laughed with his mate and said You Pay B400. Gestapo.
It's very much up to you.
If you choose to play like a Fool well The Thai's have a saying about a Fool and his Money. Soon be Mine, I think.
Yes Folks do get wasted, Drunken Idiots in the main.
Drugs easily available, pedo's have their time, short and not sweet, local law does not hang about, Door off and Hello the Heavy Gang has just Cum for a stay, local informers abound, Bar folk, Tuk Tuk drivers and undercover cops.
I have a retirement visa, renew every year, about 3 Hrs and report to immigration every 90 days, 20 mins. Must show B800,000 in bank for three months before, but then can spend until next year. I can get bye on B600,000 all depends on what you drink and who you chase.
The Hot season in CM is not nice, rainy OK and Cool Lovely.
What you choose to make of it.

john
 
some visit for the floods and malaria, or the night market, chiangmai expats are a toffee nosed shower of *******, what most civilised people visit for is the best BSA motorcycle collection in asia, we go for the bike riding and fishing, keep your eyes peeled for us at chiangmai gate or the gecko book club
 
In my few months here I have actually bothered to research Thai culture, and learn alot from people who have actually 'lived' here, not just 46 holidays. in that time I have set up a thai registered a (TAT & VAT )business. I'm not claiming to be a 'Judith Chalmers groupie' like yourself, but only repeating what the ex-pats generally say about Thailand. I'll give advice based on real ex-pats experience when I please, if I want your advice on airline food I'll ask for it.

Edit: To actually prove you're a dick, your forum name of 'nignoy' is supposed to be the Thai expression for 'little bit.' But it's actually spelt/pronounced 'nid noy', but then as a holidaymaker you would never actually know that.
Actually only took nignoy because the thai grandkids cannot pronounce the D,s in nidnoi my surname is klein(Little in english),I lived in thailand from 63 to 66, and 84 to 91, we spend up to 3 months a year in thailand and are now 32 years property lease for the last 15 years we have been organising and supervising tours of thailand for disabled and partially sighted pensioners from UK and germany,so I wouldnt class my wife and I as tourists!
 
we leased a home in hang dong a few years back purely for family R&R, resident expats and residents assoc. caused so much much hassle because we kept ourselves to ourselves, we dont drink or play golf mainly because we are both disabled, our only vice call it what you like was motorcycling, and our 62 bmw steib combination was a very quiet bike compared to the harleys in the development, but they got their tame thai policeman ,to keep stopping us and fining us, 500baht 3 or 4 times a week gets a bit boring and expensive after a while,we eventually sold the lease on , we only use the chiangmai gate hotel these days, safer parking , no bolshie expats and no tame policemen
 
Hang Dong, far to expensive for a pensioner like me.
In fact if you where in a Frang dominated Moohbann then I can understand your problem.
All my Frang friends live in Thai communities where the Values of the Thailand of Old are maintained.
I have a jap couple live next to me in the Condo and all others are Thai.
Thai's aren't perfect as you know, but they do retain the training of curtsy which they learned from childhood.

john
 
phiilipines
they speak english.
you can go for the bargirls or get a real normal grilfreind or an amautuer or whtever.
great if you have a wife already too.
lots of choice in location.
allowed to retire and own condo-not landed property.
need about 10 grand US in account.
lots of website- type in pinoy and then words like expat,living,property owner or retire.
most are yank orientated,but ok.
healthcare fine.
schools good.
crime less than UK and though foreiners cant own guns,no probs if you have a freind that shoots the blaggart!
guns used by locals very saturday night special-most go off backwards and cause work for the hand surgeons.
corruption less than thailand,about norm for asia.
no foreign anti bias like in a lot of area(no special prices etc)
beer cheap,food cheap.
locations to condsider are tagatay-cool and near manila
cavite-cooler tha manila and close.
cebu-best of all and still cheap.
 
phiilipines
they speak english.
you can go for the bargirls or get a real normal grilfreind or an amautuer or whtever.
great if you have a wife already too.
lots of choice in location.
allowed to retire and own condo-not landed property.
need about 10 grand US in account.
lots of website- type in pinoy and then words like expat,living,property owner or retire.
most are yank orientated,but ok.
healthcare fine.
schools good.
crime less than UK and though foreiners cant own guns,no probs if you have a freind that shoots the blaggart!
guns used by locals very saturday night special-most go off backwards and cause work for the hand surgeons.
corruption less than thailand,about norm for asia.
no foreign anti bias like in a lot of area(no special prices etc)
beer cheap,food cheap.
locations to condsider are tagatay-cool and near manila
cavite-cooler tha manila and close.
cebu-best of all and still cheap.

Yep, Phils too. Stunning place and unlike Thailand, many of the girls have big tits. Any of you who saw my pics from Phils a couple of years ago on the Biscuits Brown website will have seen the pics of the tartini I nobbled there. Boobs a plenty. But apart from that, yeah, what he said.
 
Yep, Phils too. Stunning place and unlike Thailand, many of the girls have big tits. Any of you who saw my pics from Phils a couple of years ago on the Biscuits Brown website will have seen the pics of the tartini I nobbled there. Boobs a plenty. But apart from that, yeah, what he said.

Linky thingy? Me love the Pinais, they make excellent company, jealous as **** though I always used my alter ego, separate phone number etc, can't be too careful...
 
I'm glad someone has mentioned Philly, my main query is anyone had experience of the South ie Davao City?

I've spent a couple of visits in both Manila & Davao but other pets experience & better info would be welcome...
 
The only place to retire to is the Shed, this can be transported anywhere in the world after some homebrew and a sleep in the cosy armchair in the corner.
 
It is a myth putout out by european real estate agents in Thailand,that forming a company to purchase a property is legal , but if it is only on paper and not actually producing an income the company is illegal.As 1000,s of expat home owners in have found out to their detriment, there are expat homes for sale everywhere you look, and thais wont touch them!!, we were lucky and have thai friends who bought our house for us and leased it backto us for an acorn lease, as we used it as a rental property we could have legally formed a company , but it was too much hassle, our thai military tenant purchased our property when we decided to sell,we still have a property on lease in north eastern thailand ,which we use when we feel like it, also you have to put the equivalent of about 25000 pounds as a bond in a thai bank to qualify for a retirement visa if both partners are none thai, there is so much hassle,with car ownership , and corruption, we decided long ago the land of smiles is a great hole to throw your money into, its a beautiful country, marvellous people, and if bars , ladyboys and a good chance of being mugged or waking up dead in some klong or soi are your ideas of the perfect retirement, go for it!!Now if it wasnt for the winters ice and and snow, I would swap sunny queensland for Minden everytime, we will be in residence in minden in may, catching up with herforder and the odd doppelkorn.
 
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