Hello chaps, Iâve managed somehow to acquire the attention of a young, Polish, filly; sheâs quite the catch with chocolaty brown eyes & dark hair, a petite constitution & fine features, quite a divine being to behold! She reminded me a little of the venerable Ms A. Hepburn, especially when she leaned back in her chair with her cappuccino. When I went to order some more drinks at the bar some fellow approached me to remark on her, which made me feel even more paranoid. Iâm hoping to spend as much time as possible with her & am certain the fragrant farts from such a darling creature could contend directly with the fresh aroma of daisies on a sunny April day. Iâve taken her for one date thus far & I donât think it was too disastrous, I managed to give her a quick peck on the cheek as it finished, rather than a full on snog in public as itâs rather bad form & I wanted to play it cool, I suppose I held back a little too as I was quite terrified, I fear Iâm really quite taken with her. I want to take her on another date as the location of the first one wasnât really appropriate, we were in a bar full of oogling football fans & there wasnât much to converse about. Communication was quite difficult at times too; she even had a Polish-English dictionary. Naturally this is all part of my cunning plan as I ascertained it would be a little easier to put one up the hoop of a foreign girlie & get away with it, than try it with a well established English girl who knows itâs not usually the done thing! Do you chaps happen to know any decent places in the city where I could take the young lady Bear in mind that as a first-jobber-graduate-type Iâm not overly affluent as yet, so any places that are kind to my wallet would be best. Iâm considering maybe the Tate Modern? The art would give us something to talk about & maybe the more obscene pieces might make her feel quite brisk? I could then take her for a coffee on the top floor. Greenwich might be quite nice too with the park et al. I remain your most humble & obedient servant, &tc. ~D.C.