Best or Worst Sex Knockback

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by cbgramc, Jan 20, 2009.

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  1. Boring wet Tuesday afternoon a thought how about some afternoon sex, approach Mrs CBG for a spot of light entertainment. "No fu@k off I,ve got sinusitis" so what I don't want to sh@g your nose, back to internet porn for me then.

    Now the question what is the best worst excuse wife/ girlfriend has ever given you, you know the kind of stuff "I'm on the blob" " I've got to do my hair" "My dads just died" normal sh1te not that we much care all we want is sex.
  2. "They can get DNA off balaclava helmets!"
  3. "I can't get properly wet since the menopause"

    But she did let me knock one out over her tits though, so not all bad
  4. I just get the usual stuff like

    Fecking women.
  5. Im only 5.
  7. "Fcuk off you nob head I'm tryin to sleep" - Ahh, Scouse Girls!
  8. After putting in a considerably amount of spadework, really thinking he's pulled, my mate (honest! wasn't me, never, no chance) gets a consoling hand on his shoulder, as she looks me... err... him in the eye, smiles sweetly and says
    "I wouldn't fcuk you for practice."
  9. Are you in yet?

    Wake me when it gets interesting!

    Your dad's co'ck doesn't look like that!

    If you want to change positions it's another €10.

    That's not my finger in your arse, that's danny the mastiff!
  10. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    'Not even to save my life'.

  11. I have to use lube it is not my original genitalia.
  12. If you want to join the mile high club you better get on top
  13. Hahahahahahaha, FS trying not to giggle while on the phone at work !! 8O
  14. Fcuk off you ugly cnut...... and to make matters worse, she was registered legally blind
  15. 'Your d1ck is way too large for me to handle...'

    On a serious note definately the classic sex knockback for me has to be 'I'm too tired, maybe in the morning' after they have enticed you enough into believing shes up for it when it wasnt you whos idea it was in the first place but now you have a raging erection and are too pissed off to just w@nk! Anyone else get that?