Best or Worst Sex Knockback

#1
Boring wet Tuesday afternoon a thought how about some afternoon sex, approach Mrs CBG for a spot of light entertainment. "No fu@k off I,ve got sinusitis" so what I don't want to sh@g your nose, back to internet porn for me then.

Now the question what is the best worst excuse wife/ girlfriend has ever given you, you know the kind of stuff "I'm on the blob" " I've got to do my hair" "My dads just died" normal sh1te not that we much care all we want is sex.
 
#3
"I can't get properly wet since the menopause"

But she did let me knock one out over her tits though, so not all bad
 
#4
I just get the usual stuff like

Indoobs Wench said:
"I can't do it with that, you're far too big"
Indoobs Wench said:
"I've come too much for one day"
Indoobs Wench said:
"Not today, I'm thinking of going bisexual, but you could watch if you want"
Indoobs Wench said:
"Couldn't you try it on with my younger sister? She's more of a goer anyway"
Fecking women.
 
#6
indoubitabley said:
I just get the usual stuff like

Indoobs Wench said:
"I can't do it with that, you're far too big"
Indoobs Wench said:
"I've come too much for one day"
Indoobs Wench said:
"Not today, I'm thinking of going bisexual, but you could watch if you want"
Indoobs Wench said:
"Couldn't you try it on with my younger sister? She's more of a goer anyway"
Fecking women.
AH HAH HA AHAHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
 
#7
"Fcuk off you nob head I'm tryin to sleep" - Ahh, Scouse Girls!
 
#8
After putting in a considerably amount of spadework, really thinking he's pulled, my mate (honest! wasn't me, never, no chance) gets a consoling hand on his shoulder, as she looks me... err... him in the eye, smiles sweetly and says
"I wouldn't fcuk you for practice."
 
#9
Are you in yet?

Wake me when it gets interesting!

Your dad's co'ck doesn't look like that!

If you want to change positions it's another €10.

That's not my finger in your arse, that's danny the mastiff!
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#10
'Not even to save my life'.



R.I.P.
 
#14
Fcuk off you ugly cnut...... and to make matters worse, she was registered legally blind
 
#15
'Your d1ck is way too large for me to handle...'

On a serious note definately the classic sex knockback for me has to be 'I'm too tired, maybe in the morning' after they have enticed you enough into believing shes up for it when it wasnt you whos idea it was in the first place but now you have a raging erection and are too pissed off to just w@nk! Anyone else get that?
 
#16
"I haven't shaved"

"Sucking makes me sick"

"I've cum so am not in the mood. I can w ank you off though if you like"
 
#17
FFS not now, wait till the mourners have left.

and of course the old classic of

'Baaaaaaa, Baaaaaaa'
 
#18
"No means No. So take your knife, and fcuk off!"
 
#19
'The Police are on the way, now get out of the pool Mr Barrymore'
 
#20
I just want to be friends and i only kissed you as i felt sorry for you. No having sex with you will not change my mind "Bitch".

Friend of mine in NI: He has just pulled a lookalike Fizz from Coronation street. After she has been sitting on his knee for a while, she jumps up as he has peed all over her arrse and himself and still he tries to pull her back down and seal the deal, still you did bag her the next day..... Mr B you should be ashamed at your lack of control when drunk.
 

Similar threads

Latest Threads

Top