best nicknames

Popping my arrse cherry with this post so be gentle...
Being an aussie love a good nickname, usually theyre pretty average with only an -o, -y or azza added to the name but over the years I've come across some absolute crackers.

read this one tonight...
Used to work with an ex-RN lad who took a phone call at work one day and expelled, 'Splunk!'.I asked him afterwards, 'Splunk?', 'Oh yeah', he said, 'His surname is Slemen'.

reminded me of some good ones
poo - short for shampoo, cos he once seriously injured his 'head n shoulders'

blisters- he'd only appear after the work was done

pothole - you'd do anything to avoid the cnut

masta - last name was bates

copperfield - always disappear when it was his round

sunsets - footy coach whos favourite saying was 'at the end of the day'

cricketing legends the waugh brothers steve 'tugga' waugh and mark 'afghanistan' as in the forgotton waugh

aussie rugby player john eales was often called 'nobody' because nobody is perfect

so what are the best nicknames youve heard??
Soggy = Grand Slammed on his missus


Book Reviewer
Morphine - A slow acting dope
Aquafresh - A tube with three stripes
Used to know a WRAC known as TAZ told her it was because she was always rushing about looking busy...............but it was for TITS AND ZITS.

Urinal teeth was anther one.
Call one of my mates Bungalow as he seemingly has nothing upstairs.

I used to get called chopper due to the way I used to 'fly' into some horrific challenges at footie.

Guy who worked in the Command Training Wing in Ballykinlar

Called: Armalite

Set himself on fire stealing petrol from a range car.
C*nt = some bloke called Gordon Brown
A small blonde pretty WRAC but with awful teeth at Lisburn in the Late 80s -Kyllie the Pogue
I knew a bloke called Johnny Squint Eye, I don't know why he was called Johnny Squint Eye,as his eyes were definitely not squint.
However,it still my favourite nick-name that I've come across.

I knew a chap called Tex who was in my platoon years ago. As in he refused to buy any Gortex or cold weather kit, opting to freeze his bollocks off instead on exercise.
Yeah! Nicknames... I've been called a few.... Fat Bastid.... and ... Full O Shoite.... were but the kindest.

Lard Arse and Big Tits... also came my way at times.... I'm still trying to figure out why.... Thicko..... :wink: :lol:
We had a Drill bit - he was a boring tool.
Scud - you could see him coming but could do feck all about it.
Pumba - I, I mean, he was a fat, smelly bugga that snored alot.

I'm sure they're a few more I'll add later.

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