Best mess games?

Discussion in 'Officers' started by colonel_mustard, Apr 22, 2006.

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  1. Not sure if this has been done in the officers forum, but was wondering which mess has the best drinking games. Did the beams at Blandford a few years ago, and have played quite a nasty game of mess rugby with the Marines, but someone must have some quality after dinner games...
  2. The getting broom handle from being held in front of body to back without letting go is always from, especially when people think they have become mr elastic after 5 pints. round the world always a good race too
  3. British Bulldog was always a good one, as was Moriarty where are you?
  4. Saw this one at Frankfurt am Main AFB compliments of some USMC pilots - Flight Decks.

    Clear table
    One chap stands at the top of the table and acts as 'Bats'(he who talks plane down)
    Blindfold volunteer/numpty/subby out to please mess and place some distance from the bottom of the table,he/she is then the 'plane',spin to confuse.He/she holds arms out and makes as a plane(noises optional)
    'Bats' then talks/guides plane into approach who must run in direction ordered and then on the command 'land' must dive blindly in direction ordered and hopefully makes a happy landing on the 'flightdeck' or table.
    However if they do not trust 'Bats' and do as instructed then a flame-in occurs 'OUCH'
    Its best to remove jackets so as not to scratch tables.

    Saw some spectacular landings including one overshoot plus one or two very bad flame-ins,not for the faint hearted and gets better the more p*ssed planes/Bats are.
  5. Bridging is good fun and doesnt harm people (always)
  6. Shove Piggy Shove?
  7. Fireball Hockey.

    Get a few sand bags and cut them into strips. Soak them overnight in parafin. Fashion a ball shaped cage about the size of a football out of chicken wire, and then stuff the ball with the parafin soaked sand bags. Make sure the ball is quite robust.

    Wait until after dinner and it is nice and dark and then issue hockey sticks to the players (as many as you want - dependant on how big your lawn is). Set fire to the ball and then let play commence!

    I recommend making about 5 balls as they do tend to break up after a while. It is not recommended to play this game wearing kilts - the balls have a nasty habit of burning other balls!!
  8. Classic!

    I dont know how to classify this one but...

    take 1 incredibly long, icredibly old and incredibly expensive dining table.

    strip down to items of clothing with the lowest amount of friction (dinner jackets on, dinner jackets off, RAC wooly jumper on, or even a CBA was tried)

    arrange all available mess members in a "human runway", allowing for a length run up to the table.

    ensure that there is much whooping, clapping and shouting as two *priceless* 450 year old silver kettle drums are played in a tune that was last heard by cromell.

    doubly ensure that there is one member of the mess holding a croquet / polo mallet at the head of the you are ready

    get subby/PO/visitor to run full pelt at the table whilst the watchin hordes egg him on. whilst the runner is approaching the table, mess member with the mallet must beat the table in a rythmic motion imitating a indiana jones style swinging death trap.

    **try and get as far down the table, sliding on your front, whilst completely w*nkered, making an effort not to clobbered on the arrsecheeks by the croquet guillotine...**

    thats how my fam visit went anyway....

  9. My mess generally finds that drinking gets in the way of playing games. Organising a game requires prior planning or at least prior thought which is a bit of a bummer. Inevitably this leaves us with rugby, particularly if we have the Sgt's Mess around. The only key ingredient required is bravado which can always be found at the bottom of a pint of cider. I have played with all kinds of objects for a ball; an ever shrinking lettuce and most memorably a frozen chicken. The frozen chicken rapidly thawed and disintegrated so at one stage we had three different players claiming they had scored a try. The referee had to adjudicate who had the largest chunk of chicken. Suffice it to say it wasn't my chicken wing.
  10. NAAFI Shopping Trolley Hockey. Two teams in pairs. One pushes trolley. One wields stick from inside. Cabbage for a ball. Lots of fun.
  11. Good call BM - works a treat (and is a lot easier) with a full loo roll tightly wrapped in chicken wire and soaked overnight in parafin - the 'comets tail' is stunning. Also don't forget - oven gloves for the goalies.

    Reminds me of the young subbie who didn't realise the goalies had gloves and thought he too could catch and throw the fireball.
    Didn't do that twice.
  12. This game was described to me whilst on a PO visit with the RAC at Bovington.

    The game requires two participants and is best played outdoors in a sparsely populated area. A rugby pitch for example. First ‘player’ has a stripped down shotgun, complete with two cartridges. Second ‘player’ has issue body armour and a pushbike.

    The object of the game should be obvious by now. Player two has to get into their body armour and start peddling fast whilst player one reassembles the shotgun and takes aim. I didn’t actually witness this game being played, but assume that the chap on the bike wins, if he is still peddling after the shots are fired!
  13. Good call there. Heard of a variation on that called shotgun port. Whoever finishes the bottle of port throws on a very heavy padded leather jacket with big collar to protect head and runs as fast as they can. Then same as above. Obviously more dangerous after a bottle of port.

  14. Bit of a summery outdoors type game, but we discovered a joyful game called bin jousting. Not your average mess jousting (i.e. on piggyback with standard lamp lances, or real lances if you're a cav sort), but instead played in a carpark with two large red Biffa bins, preferably empty of rubbish. The Duellers line up about 30m apart and are given an enthusiastic push start. The winner is the person whose neck is not broken at the end of the joust. Video available of this on request! :D
  15. If you have lino floors:
    2 people each climb into the new issue holdall with the rucksack straps.
    They don a roll mat each
    The 2 horses each attach a toggle rope to said bag and charge at one another.
    The winner is the knight still sitting up.
    May I reccomend the straight punch, rather than the side swipe.