Best Mans Speach

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Bolton_Sig, Dec 24, 2008.

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  1. Hi, my brother as spammed me to be his best man, but i am really stuck as to what to say for his speech?? any help would b greatly appreciated he is reme and i am signals, and the fisrst time i met his fiance they brught a cat round
    thanks im advance
    Bolton_Sig
     
  2. Jokes about strokeing his future wifes pussy should perhaps be left out.
     
  3. you want to tell them about how, this one time, he tried to fix a radio and thought it would be easy because he is REME.... but then HE COULDN'T FIX IT! but you worked it out because you're in the signals!!!
    all aboard the rofflecopter!!!!! that'll be one ace speech!!!!
     
  4. FFS, whatever you end up with, run it through the spell checker first.
     
  5. write it as you say it guru.

    grammar & spelling are so last season. :D :wink: :D :wink:
     
  6. I did my brothers best mans speech recently, i was fcuking stressing out, I went with a list of my brothers 'acheivements' (IE ripping it out of him) and simultaneously praising the bride- so one method is to devise a list of embarassing (but still family-suitable-grandma doesn't need to know about you spit-roasting wh0res) events in your brothers life, and turn it into a list of his failings and how the marriage is going to change him for the better...
     
  7. terroratthepicnic

    terroratthepicnic LE Reviewer Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Runners

    At my sisters wedding, the best man said a joke that had me in stitches.

    He was talking about what they used to get up to and finished off with, 'together we have been through thick and thin, thankfully none of them are here today'.
     
  8. The best i've heard of was a full screw from 1RTR, pissed out of his tree. He just about managed to get to the stage, picked up the mic and in his best Ringo Starr voice said "Ho Ho Ho said Thomas", dropped the mic and shambled off the stage to a stunned silence that lasted until the squaddie table at the back gave him a standing ovation. Not the most lurid bestman tale to be sure but I would have loved to have seen it.