Best letter of complaint ever...

Saw a writing competition for a 'letter of complaint'. Not sure if you're supposed to just make one up or if you're allowed to send one you wrote to a real company, but having seen some efforts on here and howled with laughter I thought we could do a collective effort? But thereagain they might not cope with Arrse's efforts!

Star letter gets £30 apparently...woo!! :D

Monthly Writing Competition

(I'm sure Hols4Heroes could use that money).