Best Issue

Discussion in 'Gaming and Software' started by Good CO, Jun 29, 2005.

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  1. Good CO

    Good CO LE Admin

    What about this one:

    The Issue

    In a bid to provide a new revenue stream for Drunken Geordies's Beef-Based Agriculture industry, it has been suggested that Regimental Weasels could be added to the menu.
    The Debate

    1. "The fact is, the Regimental Weasel population is out of control," says Beef-Based Agriculture spokesperson Buy King. "We have to do something about them anyway, so why not market them as tasty snacks? We could have Regimental Weasel kebabs, Regimental Weasel pies, Regimental Weasel-on-a-sticks--the possibilities are endless! Let's not pass up this golden opportunity to provide a feast, if you will, for our economy."
    [Accept]

    2. "I agree that something needs to be done about Regimental Weasel over-population," says random passer-by Calvin Jefferson, "but eating them? That's kind of gross. Let's just shoot the ones we have to and shovel their bodies into ditches like normal."
    [Accept]

    3. "I am shocked and appalled!" declared SPCA President Beth Clinton. "If anyone needs to be culled, it's us humans. The Regimental Weasels were here first, remember? We need to take this as a sign to get our industry--agriculture in particular--to back off. The Regimental Weasel is part of what makes Drunken Geordies a great nation!"
    [Accept]


    What to do, what to do...
     
  2. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    I think that Stoatman should be out spokesperson (note the pc-ness) in this matter.

    If one decides to take on board such a huge subject as Regimental Weasels (and in my time most were called RPs) then we should have an authorative voice to speak for us.

    Stoatman - over to you.
     
  3. I was thinking about this last night. There are some great and frankly potty issues that we have to resolve in a reasonably coherent manner if our nations are to evolve. Is this a cue to share them? :D
     
  4. This issue is a beaut, and so timely:

     
  5. Another belter - and thankfully not so apposite - possibly:

    The issue is flagged up as 'Cash for Colons'! :D
     

  6. The Dutch? Conservative, right-wing pigs...
     
  7. Not sure how to go about this one strong views from both sides

    any suggestions?

    The Issue
    A group of emergency room doctors has petitioned the government to introduce mandatory organ donations.

    The Debate
    "It's not as crazy as it sounds," says Dr. Prudence Love. "Every day, people die because we don't have the organs to save them. Well, that and widespread under-funding of the health system. But the point is, if the government allowed us to take organs from dead people, we could save hundreds of lives a year. And come on, it's not like dead people need them."

    This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.


    "You keep your damn hands off my organs!" says alarmed hospital patient Violet Rifkin. "They are my organs, and I'll do with them what I like. The government has no right to my body."
    [Accept]


    TR
     
  8. It's time for the government to allocate spending for the coming year, and as always, special interest groups are keen to have their say.
    The Debate

    1. "The state of the education system is, in many areas, simply frightful," says Teachers Union leader Tobias Christmas. "And even where we are doing well, we could do better. I appeal to the authorities for a substantial boost in funding. Remember, the children are our future."

    2. "We won't have a future unless we improve police numbers and rebuild the military," says General Jean-Paul Rifkin. "Oh, it's all well and good to have your fancy education and your nice cars, until some tinpot dictatorship decides to invade. And don't pretend like there aren't any of them in our region. Our number one priority has to be security."

    3. "Education is nice, but Health and Social Welfare are more important," says celebrity social worker Miranda Gutenberg. "This is where the people who really need government help are: the marginalized of our society. If we don't help them, what kind of a nation are we?"

    4. "Hey, I've got a crazy idea," says noted libertarian and bird-watcher Buy Chicago. "How about the government stops taking so much tax from people? Give us a tax cut and we'll buy the things we need ourselves. People need to be weaned off the government teat!"


    The Government Position

    The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 2.
     
  9. :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
     
  10. The Issue: As crime rates rise, some in the community are calling for increased policing.

    The Debate
    1. "Just the other day, I got mugged in the broad daylight!" says ruffian Beth Thiesen. "And the ironic thing is I had just stuck up this other guy. When muggers are getting mugged, even I have to admit that crime has gotten out of control. We do need more police."

    2. "The solution to crime is not more police!" says noted sociologist and occasional crime novelist Al Thiesen. "Studies repeatedly show that crime is caused by poverty and poor education. Increase government spending in these areas, and crime will fall! Maybe not overnight, but it will happen."

    3. "Yeah, good luck with that," says conservative leader and gun enthusiast Melbourne Jong-Il. "Look, we do need more police, that's clear. But that's not enough. We need real punishments: sentences that will act as a genuine deterrent to people considering a life of crime. Like public floggings."

    The Government Position: The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 3.
     
  11. The Issue
    It's time for the government to allocate spending for the coming year, and as always, special interest groups are keen to have their say.

    The Debate
    "The state of the education system is, in many areas, simply frightful," says Teachers Union leader Pete Silk. "And even where we are doing well, we could do better. I appeal to the authorities for a substantial boost in funding. Remember, the children are our future."
    [Accept]


    "We won't have a future unless we improve police numbers and rebuild the military," says General Freddy Winters. "Oh, it's all well and good to have your fancy education and your nice cars, until some tinpot dictatorship decides to invade. And don't pretend like there aren't any of them in our region. Our number one priority has to be security."
    [Accept]


    "Education is nice, but Health and Social Welfare are more important," says celebrity social worker Hope King. "This is where the people who really need government help are: the marginalized of our society. If we don't help them, what kind of a nation are we?"
    [Accept]


    "Hey, I've got a crazy idea," says noted libertarian and bird-watcher Violet Li. "How about the government stops taking so much tax from people? Give us a tax cut and we'll buy the things we need ourselves. People need to be weaned off the government teat!"
    [Accept]

    Such a hard decision so early in the morning!
     
  12. Gah, an issue in which the writers have shown their bedwettingly lefty bias:

    Spot which option doesn't have "argh, let go of my throat" written on it.

    My government follows a strict non-intervention policy, so it has to be option 3
     
  13. scaryspice

    scaryspice LE Moderator

    I got this one this morning:

    Commentators have warned that Scaryspicedom's social inequalities threaten to make it an international pariah.

    The Debate
    "Look, I don't like it either," said Chamber of Commerce spokesperson Jennifer Dredd. "Just on the way here, I had to step over three homeless people, and one of my shoes got caught on a beggar. But inequality is the price we pay for economic strength. If anything, we need fewer taxes, so those of us who are well-off can afford to be more generous. If we want to, that is."
    [Accept]


    "I think we've forgotten what economic strength is all about," says social worker Freddy Silk. "The economy is meant to be a means to a high standard of living, not an end in itself. It's become an excuse for the rich to prosper while the poor fall through the cracks. Not everyone is poor because they don't feel like working. We must provide more welfare."
    [Accept]


    "Who says we're an international pariah?" demands military honcho Bianca Bush. "What are their names? If that's the way the international community feels, we obviously need to prepare for war."
    [Accept]

    Gotta be option 3 really hasn't it?

    Scary
     
  14. I got to ban bicycles from the streets yesterday - had to make room for all the anti-green 4x4s in my Royal Cavalcade
     
  15. Given that my National Animal (due to drunkenness) is the Deformed Mong, my favourite issue so far has been:

    The Issue
    In a bid to provide a new revenue stream for Deep Enlightenment's Beef-Based Agriculture industry, it has been suggested that Deformed Mongs could be added to the menu.

    The Debate
    "The fact is, the Deformed Mong population is out of control," says Beef-Based Agriculture spokesperson Jazz Winters. "We have to do something about them anyway, so why not market them as tasty snacks? We could have Deformed Mong kebabs, Deformed Mong pies, Deformed Mong-on-a-sticks--the possibilities are endless! Let's not pass up this golden opportunity to provide a feast, if you will, for our economy."
    [Accept]


    "I agree that something needs to be done about Deformed Mong over-population," says random passer-by Jack Shiomi, "but eating them? That's kind of gross. Let's just shoot the ones we have to and shovel their bodies into ditches like normal."
    [Accept]


    "I am shocked and appalled!" declared SPCA President Konrad Jefferson. "If anyone needs to be culled, it's us humans. The Deformed Mongs were here first, remember? We need to take this as a sign to get our industry--agriculture in particular--to back off. The Deformed Mong is part of what makes Deep Enlightenment a great nation!"
    [Accept]

    I'm so proud!