Best Insults?....

I'm looking to upgrade my book of insults as the old ones I use are now way past their sell by date.

Heard one recently that hadn't been used for a while.....

Hope your neck shi ts a porcupine and all your kids walk backwards!!

Bog standard filth not required.

All suggestions greatfully received.
Of a girl who (otherwise essence) had neglected her dental hygiene as a child:

had a mouth like a burnt out fuse box.
Not sure if this is a complement or an insult, but:

"She could suck a Yokohama Fender through a steam hose"
one i often use to blokes that won't take the "bugger off" hint and start getting a bit gobshite with me, i reply sweetly as i can............

IF your c0ck was as big as your mouth, i'm sure your boyfriend would be a very smily man
One of my favourites:

Fecking hell mate, do your gums bleed every 28 days?

Or to the crew-room gob sh!te:

Thanks for taking that moment in time to publicly humiliate yourself.
you was so ugly that the nurses smacked your face to make you breathe when you was born :)


War Hero
You are so ugly that when you were born, the nurses didn't smack you, they smacked your mother.
When someone "blows orf" (F@rts) say:

"Keep shouting sir - we'll find you"
"If my dog was as ugly as you, I'd shave its arse and teach it to walk backwards!" :lol:
here's the winner,
when someone says something that makes the needle skid off the record...
turn around and say,
"I was just about to do an impersination of a cnut, but you've just beaten me to it !"
a personal favourite variation on the "are you chewing a brick or talking to me" comment goes....

why don't you take your cock out your mouth before you talk to me!

and the immortal line from pricilla, queen of the desert

why don't you just light your tampon and blow yourself up cos thats the only bang you're likely to get sweetheart

aren't i a classy chick :twisted:
May your earholes turn to arrseholes, and sh1t all down your neck!

All you need is a white tooth, and you'll have a snooker set.

You've got a face like a well-spanked arrse.

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?

Have you considered suing your brains for non-support?

Here's 20p. Call all your friends and bring back some change!

I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

I've seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission!

If I ever need a brain transplant, I'd choose yours because I'd want a brain that had never been used.

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