Best Insults?....

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Rudolph_Hucker, Jun 3, 2004.

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  1. I'm looking to upgrade my book of insults as the old ones I use are now way past their sell by date.

    Heard one recently that hadn't been used for a while.....

    Hope your neck shi ts a porcupine and all your kids walk backwards!!

    Bog standard filth not required.

    All suggestions greatfully received.
  2. To ugly burd?

    "You've got a face like melted lego"

    8O 8O 8O :oops:
  3. Of a girl who (otherwise essence) had neglected her dental hygiene as a child:

    had a mouth like a burnt out fuse box.
  4. To a dubious woman..on the lego theme..

    Oi, you have a face like a melted wellie....
    Oi, your face is like a kicked in lunchbox...
  5. Not sure if this is a complement or an insult, but:

    "She could suck a Yokohama Fender through a steam hose"
  6. Nice a$$, too bad it's on your shoulders.
  7. one i often use to blokes that won't take the "bugger off" hint and start getting a bit gobshite with me, i reply sweetly as i can............

    IF your c0ck was as big as your mouth, i'm sure your boyfriend would be a very smily man
  8. "Check the give a fuck meter (hold finger up - without moving) - not a fucking flicker"
  9. One of my favourites:

    Fecking hell mate, do your gums bleed every 28 days?

    Or to the crew-room gob sh!te:

    Thanks for taking that moment in time to publicly humiliate yourself.
  10. you was so ugly that the nurses smacked your face to make you breathe when you was born :)
  11. Unknown_Quantity

    Unknown_Quantity War Hero Moderator

    You are so ugly that when you were born, the nurses didn't smack you, they smacked your mother.
  12. To the ahem.... intellectually challenged.

    'I couldn't fail to disagree with you less'


  13. When someone "blows orf" (F@rts) say:

    "Keep shouting sir - we'll find you"
  14. Oh dear, the lights are on but nobody's home :D