Best hobby for avoiding the mrs?

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
Mission impossible walt.
Dont know wether I told this before, but back in the 80s I used to work for a fire and security outfit, the office was on the third floor up a narrow staircase at the back of the building
halfway up the stairs were a set of toilets then a door onto the last section leading to our reception area
the Salesman was a serial shagger, secretary's, schoolgirls fat birds, anything with a fanny (contact mags)
halfway up the stairs he had fitted a security camera, the old sort with a thermionic tube black and white, being useful lads we gradually adjusted the focus to make the image a bit grainy
he had a 12 inch monitor in his office on the filing cabinet
one of the lads borrowed the firms instant camera,and a set of steps and took a picture directly above the camera
after it printed out, he stuck it on a small bit of wood about 3 feet from the camera and angled it up a little bit
many laughs were had as unsuspecting visitors walked into reception and knocked on his door or sat drinking coffee and listening to the noises coming out !!
he was the most disgusting person I have ever met
 
Dont know wether I told this before, but back in the 80s I used to work for a fire and security outfit, the office was on the third floor up a narrow staircase at the back of the building
halfway up the stairs were a set of toilets then a door onto the last section leading to our reception area
the Salesman was a serial shagger, secretary's, schoolgirls fat birds, anything with a fanny (contact mags)
halfway up the stairs he had fitted a security camera, the old sort with a thermionic tube black and white, being useful lads we gradually adjusted the focus to make the image a bit grainy
he had a 12 inch monitor in his office on the filing cabinet
one of the lads borrowed the firms instant camera,and a set of steps and took a picture directly above the camera
after it printed out, he stuck it on a small bit of wood about 3 feet from the camera and angled it up a little bit
many laughs were had as unsuspecting visitors walked into reception and knocked on his door or sat drinking coffee and listening to the noises coming out !!
he was the most disgusting person I have ever met
That's because you haven't met me yet.
 

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
That's because you haven't met me yet.
the guy used to pick his nose and eat his own bogies during meetings !!!
I walked in after lunch one day, lobbed some certificates on his desk and walked out
the secretary rang me to ask why they were all sticky
I explained they were straight out of the book so perfect
then I heard her making a puking noise
he really was minging
 
The mrs, being Russian, was very suspicious about me and my mate's allotment. We used to go there, plant stuff, dig, grow stuff, etc. Having to the Paddingtonski hard stare each time I mentioned going to the allotment I asked why it was a problem. It seems to be a cultural thing for people to have dachas (ie sheds on allotments) and make phenomenal amounts of alcohol, of the wine variety but also stills are handed down from father to son. She thought we were making vodka there. This thought had never entered my head. Now it has...............
HMRC not withstanding, it's a lovely idea...
Официальный сайт Luxstahl ООО «Люкссталь» - производителя самогонных аппаратов LUXSTAHL 5
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the guy used to pick his nose and eat his own bogies during meetings !!!
I walked in after lunch one day, lobbed some certificates on his desk and walked out
the secretary rang me to ask why they were all sticky
I explained they were straight out of the book so perfect
then I heard her making a puking noise
he really was minging
Did he scavenge through skips and shop bins?
 

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
Did he scavenge through skips and shop bins?
Er I must admit that was not one of his habits

Gambling big time
falsifying expenses he was the master of the art
dogging he did that before it was invented, in fact I think they have a car parking space marked in his honour at Shab Hill
driving while banned
and could sell snow to an Eskimo
 
Er I must admit that was not one of his habits

Gambling big time
falsifying expenses he was the master of the art
dogging he did that before it was invented, in fact I think they have a car parking space marked in his honour at Shab Hill
driving while banned
and could sell snow to an Eskimo
Sounds like he'd be a good lad to go on the lash with
 
Photography, spend the time walking to boozers taking photos. Get a model and spend a day photographing naked women...hours wasted
 

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
Sounds like he'd be a good lad to go on the lash with
he was that !!


we went to a gentlemens evening he organised
arriving an hour early to make sure of a front row seat we got comfy with a drink and some grub
trouble was one of his thick mates was a carpet fitter and had covered the stage with new carpet, that hard wearing nylon bristly stuff
not the sort of thing that young girls like to Dance upon barefoot ???
so me and my workmate had to drive 20 miles, pick up a roll of soft carpet and underlay and several tubes of adhesive
then strip the stage and lay the new carpet
by which time we were covered in cuts and glue and had to load the van with all the rubbish and off cuts
by the time we got ourselves clean and tidy and the van emptied it was too late to make it back
so we went to the pub for a glass and a sandwich or two
on the way home we passed the Rugby club
and noticed a fair few police cars outside
next day the office was a trifle quite !
it seems that the girls did not just dance on the stage ( who knew), and at some point it all got a bit silly and the police arrived and collared a few gentlemen
a few lines on the local paper and a few names caused lots of questions to be asked
both Nick and I denied any knowledge as we had an alibi
 
Er I must admit that was not one of his habits

Gambling big time
falsifying expenses he was the master of the art
dogging he did that before it was invented, in fact I think they have a car parking space marked in his honour at Shab Hill
driving while banned
and could sell snow to an Eskimo
I probably know him.
 

ugly

LE
Moderator
Shooting is a great hobby, either target or game, both keep you outdoors in good company usually and occasionally you meet a pretty girl who enjoys shooting.
Of course the pub/gun club bar on the big weekends or on the way home!
 
I found divorce kept me away from the Mrs permanently.
 
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Photography, spend the time walking to boozers taking photos. Get a model and spend a day photographing naked women...hours wasted
One step further and do Macro photography. Get a table set up in the shed, a few old LED lamps, camera and tripod. It gives you an excuse to spend the weekends trawling around car boot sales looking for cheap lenses, with digital cameras you can snap away to your hearts content without paying for developing and printing, and if the missus comes in to see what you are up to casually mention that you found a great big black spider in the garden and brought it inside but you can't seem to find it now.......
 
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