Best / Funniest Footy Chants

#41
dgc890 said:
From the seventies/ eighties to away fans "Your going home in a London ambulance"

At Anfield to Liverpool fans "Stand Up if you've got a job"

To SouthaMpton Fans "Your just a small town in Portsmouth"
I like that... :twisted:
 
#42
I'm a lifelong chelsea boy, but this ManU about Ji-Sung Park one made me laugh, to the tune of Lord of the dance:

'Park, Park, whoever you may be
They eat dogs in your own country
But it could be worse, you could be scouse,
eating rats with Wayne rooney in a council house...'

Some of the Chelsea anti-Tottenham songs are hysterical or worryingly anti-semitic depending on how you see things(to the the tune of jingle bells):

'Riding round Tottenham in a Black mercedes benz, gassing all the jews, hitlers back again, oh jingle bells, jingle bells, the fuhrers back in town, oh what fun it is to gas the yids of white hart lane...'
 
#43
By United fans to Liverpool [to the tune of 'You'll never walk alone']

You'll never get a job,
sign on, sign on sign on,
with all hope in your heart
You'll never get a job, ull never get a job,
sign on, sign on ,
with hope in ur heart ull never get a job
sign on sign on

etc.

utd to Peter Crouch / liverpool fans

does the circus know your here.
does the circus, does the circus, does
the circus know your here.......
(repeat numerous times)

utd fans to Gerrard [to the tune of the okey cokey]

you put your transfer in,
your transfer out,
in,out,in,out
you shake it all about,
you do a steven gerrard and you f*ck about,
thats what is all about,
Whooaoooaoaooahhhh,scouse
b*st*rd,Whoooaooaoaoaoaoaoahhhh,scouse
b*st*rd,Whhhhhhhhhoaoaoaoaoaoaoaoaaah
scouse b*st*rd,in,out,in,out you fcuk-em all about
 
#44
Chelsea to Liverpool: 'In your liverpool slums, in your liverpool slums, you look in the dustbin for something to eat, find a dead cat and you think its a treat, in your liverpool slums...'
 
#45
My first time in the Stretford end, 1975, when Terry Yorath jogged on to the pitch. (Think he was Middlesborough then)

To the tune of Hello mudda, hello fadda (fuck me! it's an age thing)

Terry Yorath, Terry Yorath
Terry Yorath, Terry Yorath
Terry Yorath, is a quee..er, he has got the stiffest penis in the rear

Oh how I cried and oozed into me y-fronts!!

Wot d'you reckon Gab(b)y?
 
#46
Bradstyley said:
I'm a lifelong chelsea boy, but this ManU about Ji-Sung Park one made me laugh, to the tune of Lord of the dance:

'Park, Park, whoever you may be
They eat dogs in your own country
But it could be worse, you could be scouse,
eating rats with Wayne rooney in a council house...'
'
Modified when Mourinho got done for a spot of illegal dog immigration..

Jo-se wherever you may be
Your dog's here ill-eg-ally
we heard you moan
we heard him bark
He's now being eaten by Ji Sung Park.
 
#47
Sang to Newcastle fans by 'Boro during the UEFA cup run (Thurs night 8pm)

"Geordies at home, watching the bill" , repeat ad nauseum

also, back in the good old days sang to Gazza

"He fat , he's round he bounces off the ground
Paul Gascgoine, Paul Gascgoine"

Followed by throwing off mars bars as he took a corner, cheeky tw"t picked em up in his shirt at half time!!
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#48
forniup said:
Sung to Boro fans in the 90's. "Whats it like to shag your kids"

"Who's at home. who's at home, who's at home minding the kids...

From Newcastle, back in the Kegan days (the original ones)

To the tune of Lola...

"We've got the worlds most fanatical fans
and we've got big Les Ferdinand and Ginola
Gin-oh-oh-oh-oh-ola"

And when Danni Behr made her first appearacne in the Directors box to watch her man play...

"He's here, he's there, he's shagging Danni Behr Ferdinand... Ferdinand

Lee Bowyer?

"Oh Lee.. Lee Bowyer.. I wanna know whoa whoa
why you're not in jail"

And common to all grounds I suspect, the half time announcement "Would Mr. John Smith from Fenham go immediately to the General Hospital where your wife has given birth to a healthy baby boy"

50,000 people chanting "Selfish bitch, selfish bitch"
 
#49
engr172 said:
The timeless "Kopites are gobsh1tes"
Cracks me up every time :D
Rapier-like wit.
 

Grownup_Rafbrat

LE
Book Reviewer
#50
Apparently when Keegan left Newcastle the first time, they played Villa the Saturday afterwards.

To the tune of 'It's coming home' the Villa fans sang

'He's fcuked off home, He's fcuked off home, Keegan's fcuked off home'.
 
#51
One of the best from Southampton fans, to the tune of Ka-Suraa Suraa What ever will be, will be.

When I was just a little boy,
I asked my mother what would I be,
Would I be Arsenal would I be Spurs,
Here's what she said to me,
Don't be stupid son,
Now go get your fathers gun,
We'll go shot the Pompy scum,
And you'll be a Saint for sure.
 
#52
Sung by Liverpool/Everton fans to Man City/United fans, to the tune of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland":

One Harold Shipman, there's only one Harold Shipman,
Scousers say thanks, 'cos he only kills Mancs,
Walking in a Shipman Wonderland! :wink:
 
#54
bobath said:
One of the best from Southampton fans, to the tune of Ka-Suraa Suraa What ever will be, will be.

When I was just a little boy,
I asked my mother what would I be,
Would I be Arsenal would I be Spurs,
Here's what she said to me,
Don't be stupid son,
Now go get your fathers gun,
We'll go shot the Pompy scum,
And you'll be a Saint for sure.
10 men went to kill, went to kill a Scummer,
10 men and their baseball bats went to kill a Scummer,
9 men went to kill, went to kill a Scummer,
10 men, 9 men and their baseball bats went to kill a Scummer,
8 men went to kill, went to kill a Scummer,
10 men, 9 men, 8 men and their baseball bats went to kill a Scummer
7 men went to kill, went to kill a Scummer
10 men, 9 men, 8 men, 7 men and their baseball bats went to kill a Scummer,
6 men went to kill, went to kill a Scummer,
10 men, 9 men, 8 men, 7 men, 6 men and their baseball bats went to kill a Scummer,
5 men went to kill, went to kill a Scummer.....

And so on....
 
#55
I liked the " Why did ya have to stick a phone up yer arse, Ashley Cole, Ashley Cole" to the tune of Starz in their Eyes.

And when Duncan Ferguson got done for headbutting a Raith rovers player, the celtic fans were chanting

He's tall, he's skinny
He's goin' to Barlinnie
Ferguson, Ferguson
 

ugly

LE
Moderator
#56
Everyone to Burnley fans: "Your mums yer dad, yer dads yer mum, you inbred bunch of burnley scum!!"
 
#57
stand up if you hate england!!!!
stand up if you hate england!!!!
stand up if you hate england!!!!
stand up if you hate england!!!!
stand up if you hate england!!!!
stand up if you hate england!!!!
stand up if you hate england!!!!
stand up if you hate england!!!!
 
#58
to amirillo

we're on the way to the san siro
we're off the beer and on the veeno
scotland 1 italia zero
bonnie scotland play for me
sha la la la la la la la SCOTLAND
 
#59
We Hate Coca-Cola,
We Hate Fanta Too,
We Are The Tartan Army,
And We All Drink Irn-Bru,
Altogether Now
 
#60
Aberdeen to the infirm:

'We all agree, that Basrah is better than Glasgow...'

Aberdeen to the infirm (usually to one fan in particular):

'You stole my stereo, You stole my stereo, you stole my stereo, youstole my stereo, Bring back my stereo, bring back my stereo...'

Aberdeen to a fat useless steward at Mordor:

'SEEEBOOOOOO, SEEEBBBBOOOOOO, SEEEEBBBBOOOOOOO' and 'Sebo, give us a wave, sebo sebo give us a wave'...

The same game at Castle Grey Skull:

OSASUNA, OSASUNA, OSASUNA, OSASUNA (After they had just been dumped out of the cup by the Spanish team) followed by,

'WE ALL OVE SPANISH COPS, WE ALL LOVE SPANISH COPS, WE ALL LOVE SPANISH COPS, WE ALL LOVE SPANISH COPS....' whilst making the motions of hitting someone on the head with a truncheon.

Aberdeen to Dundee/Dundee United:

In your Dundee slums, in your Dundee slums, you rake in the bucket for something eat, you find a dead rat and you think its a treat, in your Dundee slums....

To gretna fans in general:

Come in a taxi, did you come in a taxi, come in a taxi.....
 

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