Best / Funniest Footy Chants

#2
Allegedly there is mobile phone footage of steve gerrards good lady getting a good seeing to by a club doorman. So on derby days the gwldays street faithful sing to stevie me

Whats that coming over your bird
is it a bouncer
is it a bouncer
 
#3
joey_deacons_lad said:
Allegedly there is mobile phone footage of steve gerrards good lady getting a good seeing to by a club doorman. So on derby days the gwldays street faithful sing to stevie me

Whats that coming over your bird
is it a bouncer
is it a bouncer
Classic! How about "Yer kids not yours not yours, steve gerrard gerrard"

Used to like "Youve got pinnochio and our car stereos! :D "
 

engr172

War Hero
Book Reviewer
#5
The timeless "Kopites are gobsh1tes"
Cracks me up every time :D
 
#6
After Van Persie got into trouble with a lady (charges subsequently dropped).

They were playing at Bolton shortly after and they sang (to the tune of Craig David 'when the crowd say Bo, Selector'

'VAN PERSIE, WHEN A GIRL SAYS NO, MOLEST HER"
 
#10
Shortly after Peter Shilton drove into lamp post after being caught in car with a girl's skirt round his ears,
as Ray Clemence ran out, Kop chants,'England,England number one'
as Peter Shilton ran out,Kop chants,England,England,sixty nine.'
 
#11
An old man city one was same tune as the bobby sands ditty

would you like a can of stella georgie best would you like a can of stella georgie best would like a can of stella coz your face is looking yellow(yeller)
 
#12
When Robert Maxwell fell off his boat (or was he pushed? Hope so!), the Oxford United Fans were asked to observe a minute's silence in rememberance of the Great cap'n Bob MC.

Instead they chose to chant

He's fat
He's round
He's six foot underground,
Robert Maxwell (clap clap)
Robert Maxwell (clap clap)


Sheer quality.
 
#14
Various old firm chants make me chuckle but a couple that stick in my mind, also to the "chicken supper" tune are

"I'd rather be a paki than a hun"

or the timeless

"I'd rather wear a turban than a sash"

Or on the same old firm derby from one end was heard
"hail hail the popes in jail"

replied swiftly with
"Hail Hail the pope got bail"
 

RP578

LE
Book Reviewer
#15
I remember a football terrace chant sung along to "London Bridge" that was popular in the 1970's and 80's. It was actually an anti-police chant used by fans to taunt the rozzers on crowd control duty and was picked up by various anarcho-crusty outfits in the 80's.

Harry Roberts is our friend
Is our friend, is our friend
Harry Roberts is our friend
He kills coppers

Shoots the bastards with a gun
With a gun, with a gun
Shoots the bastards with a gun
Harry Roberts

Shoots the bastards two by two
Two by two, two by two
Shoots the bastards two by two
He kills coppers

Let him out to kill some more
Kill some more, kill some more
Harry Roberts

Harry Roberts is a notorious cop killer who served with the Green Jackets in Kenya and Malaya where he distinguished himself in action. He shot two coppers in the the Braybrook St massacre in 1966 in Shepherds Bush, and his mate shot another. It was fairly near the QPR grounds and so it was quite a common chant on Loftus Road, but I definitely remember also hearing it in Aldershot sung by drunken squaddies baiting the local fuzz.
 
#16
Southern fans:

I go out have 10 pints, I get good and plastered.
I come home and beat my wife, coz I'm a big, fat Northern bastard

Northern fans:

Thank you very much for paying our giro,
Thank you very much, thank you very, very much

msr
 

Sixty

ADC
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#17
To the tune of ‘You are my sunshine’ and aimed at Glaswegians.

You are a Weegie, a filthy Weegie
You’re only happy, on giro day
Yer Ma’s a stealer, yer Da’s a dealer
Please don’t take my hub-caps away
 
#18
Had to be at a Chelsea - Forest game, Jason Lee was playing for Forest, his haircut was dreadlocks which he used to tie up on top of his head.

Chelsea fans: "He's got a pineapple on his head!" to the tune of "whole world in his hands"

Also 1982 Chelsea v Spurs, Ossie Ardiles was playing for Spurs, the Falklands was kicking off:

Chelsea Fans : "Ossies cousin he is dead, British bullet in the head"

and finally Reading fans came up with this one:

"Oh Reading town, is wonderful, oh Reading town is wonderful,
its full or Smack, crackhouses and brothels, oh Reading town is wonderful"
 
#19
FidoRichardRichard said:
For Example..

From Glasgow Rangers during the 1980 - 81 season..

"Do you want a chicken supper Bobby Sands?"

Same firm - to the tune of the Heinz Beans advert :

"A million Kathlics everyday
Pick up their Rosary Beads and say
Stein Stein Stein"
 
#20
I love a lassie
A bonny bonny lassie
She’s as tight as the paper on the wall
(on the wall)
She’s got legs like a spider
I’d love to fucking ride her
Mary fae (from) Methilhill
2, 3, 4
(repeat)

Come on the Fife, first team in Britain to be promoted this season!
 

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