Best Football Chants. . .

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by 81cufc, Jul 12, 2009.

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  1. Just been thinking of some of the funny things you hear getting sung/chanted at football, lets hear em. . .

    As this is directed at Chelsea it is of course apt, my entry is this -
  2. “There’s Only Two Andy Gorams"

    After newspapers reported on goalkeeper Goram's mental health problems.
  3. our star striker down at Queen of the South last year was stephen dobbie, the previous manager was allways having a pop at him about his weight so the lads used to sing to the tune of "quie sera"

    steve dobbie dobbie -we dont care if your overweight cos your finish is flucking great-steve dobbie dobbie
  4. Apparently this was the chant in tune to Lord of the Dance at the Man U
    game.. ............

    "Park, Park, Where ever you may be
    You eat dogs in your home country
    it could be worse
    You could be scouse
    Eating rats in your council house"
  5. (to the tune of craig david - rewind)


    To Graham Rix when he was released from prison after being convicted

    for, well, you know... (To the Manic Street Preachers song) "If you

    tolerate RIX, then your children will be next"

    (thanks Dad) :D
  6. Give me a T = T
    Give me a I = I
    Give me a T = T
    Give me a T = S
    What have you got - T.its
    What do you do with them = Oldham, cha cha cha
  7. "His neck scars proved he lost his head,
    tevez, tevez,
    youll never shag a sexy bird,
    tevez, tevez,
    you ugly twat, you argie cunt
    theyve sewn your head on back to front,
    Carlos Tevez The Bitters new No 9"

    "When the ball hits your head and you sit in row Z, that's Zamora!"

    "You should have stayed on the telly!" - Liverpool fans to Alan Shearer.

    "There's only one Purple Aki" - sung to Yakubu
  8. He's half a girl and half a boy
    Torres, Torres
    He looks just like a transvestite
    Torres, Torres
    He wears a frock, he loves the c0ck, he sells his arse on Albert Dock
    Fernando Torres
    Carraghers bit on the side
  9. "Eduardo woah oh oh oh
    Eduardo woah oh oh oh
    He used to have the skills
    Now he walks like Heather Mills"

    "Can the people trying to break into the boardroom please be aware you are on CCTV."
    - Mansfield stadium announcer after the Stags lost to Rotherham.
  10. Not a chant as such, but it shows great ingenuity.

    Maidstone v Welling.

    Attached Files:

  11. Possibly East Fife directed to Cowdenbeath to the tune of "The Adams Family"

    "They come from near Lochgelly
    They havnae got a telly
    They're dirty and they're smelly
    The Cowden Family

    The girls all have moustaches
    They all have nasty rashes
    And nae c unt ever washes
    The Cowden Family"
  12. To the tune of the wheels on the bus, Colchester to the Southend fans:

    "The wheels on your house go round & round, round & round, round & round!"
  13. Not strictly football chant - but made me laugh out here in Australia (where the chippy Aussies get on one's nerves whenever cross the pond sport is on) - during the last Ashes held out here and after England were well and truly gubbed, the famous Barmy Army started singing and winding up the Aussies with ' Get your sh1t stars off our flag!..get your sh11t stars off our flag"....

    Sang to the tune of your not fit wipe our arrse!

  14. Sung to the tune of "Hey Baby" after Lee Bowyer got off a jail term for battering an asian youth.

    "Heeeeeeey Leee Bowyer, oh ah.
    I wanna knooooooow, why you're not in jail."

    Another directed at Swansea fans from their Cardiff rivals.

    "Iiiiiiiiin the swansea slums.
    They look in the dustbin for something to eat.
    They find a dead rat, and they think it's a treat.
    In the swansea slums."

    A old Cardiff chant to Nathan Blake after getting in a spot of bother with the police.
    "He's black, he's mean, he robs the fruit machine.
    Nathan Blake, Nathan Blake."
  15. Sung by Colchester fans using best Northern Accents to most Northern teams, but don't know the tune name:

    "Drink ten pints on the town til I'm feckin plastered, I go home beat the wife cos I'm a Northern Bastard."