Best chat up lines/strategys!

#1
Had a quick trawl through the search and couldnt find it, if this has been done I apologise! someone lock this and chuck me in the right direction!

Im off out on the lash tonight and I was wondering what ARRSE's best lines for the ladies are!

Is it the smooth moves on the dance floor or the gift of the silver tongue that most Arrsers prefer!?
Lets hear the best and worst!
 
#2
let me be the first to suggest* rohypnol, or a claw hammer, black and nasty. knife etc etc


edited to add *that is the first in this particular thread
 
#3
Once overheard a bloke come up to a not-unattractive girl in a bar, introduce himself then say;

"Fancy coming home with me? I may not be the best-looking man in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you!"

She gasped, chucked her drink down his front and flounced off, me and my mates all pished ourselves and the bloke poled off to the gents, red in the face and glowering at us :D
 
#4
Certainly been done.
Got some great lines to use:
"Lets not turn this rape into a murder!"
"Scream and I cut you!"
And my favourite,
"Does this cloth smell of chloroform?"
 
#5
A man made me laugh more than anyone I've ever met. Deal was sealed there and then. The ladies (and not so ladylike) love it.

If you're dull, perhaps you might want to rely on getting them too pished to understand anything you say instead, and hope it's been a while for them too.
 
#6
Bravo_Zulu said:
Once overheard a bloke come up to a not-unattractive girl in a bar, introduce himself then say;

"Fancy coming home with me? I may not be the best-looking man in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you!"

She gasped, chucked her drink down his front and flounced off, me and my mates all pished ourselves and the bloke poled off to the gents, red in the face and glowering at us :D
That one made me laugh! at least the guy tried!
Tonight Im going for the "girl who has mate with her who is better looking" she'll jump at the chance to pull before her mate does and she gets ditched! :p
 
#9
Could go for the cheesey yet tasteful
"Do you know how much a polar bear wears?"
"Me neither but it breaks the ice" horrendous I know BUT is 90% less likely to get me slapped than most!
 
#10
I once used "Excuse me miss, but do you have any friends with loose morals and no self-esteem?"

Sandy, here's a shedload of chat-up lines. At 20 pages, you'll have to trawl quickly if you plan on trapping off tonight.

Chat-up lines for beginners
 
T

Tremaine

Guest
#13
Whilst treading water in the depths of one well known Moose Gallery and Dating Site, Tremaine spied a mature blonde, legs out, apparently reclining on a bed. Well, the message was loud and clear.

Chat up line was simply "Dinner.Soon". Result, dinner, wine and a sh*g. Apparently some women prefer the direct approach.

Lousy sh*g though. :roll:
 
#15
Tremaine said:
Result, dinner, wine and a sh*g. Apparently some women prefer the direct approach.

Lousy sh*g though. :roll:
You fussy f*cker! I feel fortunate if it's pot noodles, water, and a w*nk. 8O 8O 8O
 
P

PrinceAlbert

Guest
#16
Gun_Brickie said:
Tremaine said:
Result, dinner, wine and a sh*g. Apparently some women prefer the direct approach.

Lousy sh*g though. :roll:
You fussy f*cker! I feel fortunate if it's pot noodles, water, and a w*nk. 8O 8O 8O
I think he meant that he was a lousy sh@g. Now me, on the other hand :D
 
#17
Love you've got a rack like a spanner, whenever I look at it my nuts tighten.

Failing that i refer you to my sig block...
 
#18
Your hair looks nice, did you come on your bike?

Check me out giving advice Mrs Willis has left taking everything. Just looked for my CDs, gone! Don't suppose it matters got nothing to play them on anyway. Christ I wanna smash her face in the bitch. She doesn't even like the Clash or Stiff Little Fingers. And she took one of my trainers, what the feck is she or I going to do with one fecking trainer.

Spent all day in bed and now am on the Stella, do I need to get into a routine? Women snakes with tits!!!!!
 
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