Best chat up lines/strategys!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by SandysOpinion, Apr 15, 2009.

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  1. Had a quick trawl through the search and couldnt find it, if this has been done I apologise! someone lock this and chuck me in the right direction!

    Im off out on the lash tonight and I was wondering what ARRSE's best lines for the ladies are!

    Is it the smooth moves on the dance floor or the gift of the silver tongue that most Arrsers prefer!?
    Lets hear the best and worst!
     
  2. let me be the first to suggest* rohypnol, or a claw hammer, black and nasty. knife etc etc


    edited to add *that is the first in this particular thread
     
  3. Once overheard a bloke come up to a not-unattractive girl in a bar, introduce himself then say;

    "Fancy coming home with me? I may not be the best-looking man in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you!"

    She gasped, chucked her drink down his front and flounced off, me and my mates all pished ourselves and the bloke poled off to the gents, red in the face and glowering at us :D
     
  4. Certainly been done.
    Got some great lines to use:
    "Lets not turn this rape into a murder!"
    "Scream and I cut you!"
    And my favourite,
    "Does this cloth smell of chloroform?"
     
  5. A man made me laugh more than anyone I've ever met. Deal was sealed there and then. The ladies (and not so ladylike) love it.

    If you're dull, perhaps you might want to rely on getting them too pished to understand anything you say instead, and hope it's been a while for them too.
     
  6. That one made me laugh! at least the guy tried!
    Tonight Im going for the "girl who has mate with her who is better looking" she'll jump at the chance to pull before her mate does and she gets ditched! :p
     
  7. If it's a blonde, 'Do you always dye the roots of your hair black'?
     
  8. And for the snobby cow, 'I'll bet you have p1ss flaps like Gene Autry's saddle bags'.
     
  9. Could go for the cheesey yet tasteful
    "Do you know how much a polar bear wears?"
    "Me neither but it breaks the ice" horrendous I know BUT is 90% less likely to get me slapped than most!
     
  10. I once used "Excuse me miss, but do you have any friends with loose morals and no self-esteem?"

    Sandy, here's a shedload of chat-up lines. At 20 pages, you'll have to trawl quickly if you plan on trapping off tonight.

    Chat-up lines for beginners
     
  11. "You smell nice....been jogging?"

    Never fails! *cough*
     
  12. Whilst treading water in the depths of one well known Moose Gallery and Dating Site, Tremaine spied a mature blonde, legs out, apparently reclining on a bed. Well, the message was loud and clear.

    Chat up line was simply "Dinner.Soon". Result, dinner, wine and a sh*g. Apparently some women prefer the direct approach.

    Lousy sh*g though. :roll:
     
  13. Apparently that's not a strong legal defence for "suprise sex" :(
     
  14. You fussy f*cker! I feel fortunate if it's pot noodles, water, and a w*nk. 8O 8O 8O