Best CDT dits ?

Well gents, what are your best CDT dits from your time in service? It always made me laugh the tension when the vans would rock up on camp and you’d have blokes doing disappearing acts that would rival Harry Houdini in his prime.

Think lockers and car boots were always favourites. We had one bloke who dramatically faked a heart attack to not piss in the cup, the hospital and battalion knew he was bullshitting but they had to keep him in for two days to run tests on him to make sure he was alright and when they eventually got to send him up to Liverpool he pissed clear.


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I always thought -How To- threads belong in the DIY forum.....

C'mon you know the rules, if it's in the DIY forum I have to recommend fire and/or explosives, and just how would that work for this thread eh?


CDT pissed me off in the same way PT did.

It just got in the way of me doing my actual job!
I only ever had one random drug test whilst working. At the time I was on some sort of morphine derivative for my kidney stones. Not to the extent I couldn't drive or was otherwise spaced out and couldn't work you understand but it still came up as a positive on the test.

Any one else would have been suspended on the spot and sent home until "an enquiry" into how they'd let themselves and the firm down was complete. Me? Nothing. Management's reaction - tumbleweed time. Carry on with your work.

Talk about discrimination. I really fancied a week or two off. Cnuts.

Just goes to show, if you're vital to the operation of a set of useless w-anchors, you can do just about anything and get away with it.
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