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Best? boots

Preparing for the annual freedom of Tewksbury parade always involved a best boots inspection.  One morning before starting work (we were REMFs you know) all the singlys gathered at the accommodation block.  CSM came to judge our best efforts, various comments as usual until he came to Ginger Billings.
"What are those?" says CSM, looking down.
"Best boots, Sir" came the reply.
"Is that boot polish, Cpl Billings?"
"No Sir"
"Is it marillo?" <sp?>
"No Sir"
"What is it Cpl Billings?"
"Gloss paint, Sir"
The best one I heard was.......

"Are they supposed to be your best boots!?!"

"Two pairs sir, no favourites."

Closely followed by "Eft ight, eft ight, eft ight eft!!!!"
Best one I heard was on a working parade where one of the Sqn slackers turned up late.
SSM. Miller! What time are my parades?
Miller. Well if you don't know how the f**k are we.

Needless to say he didn't go on parade.

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