Best Arrse Quotes

#1
I submit for your pleasure:

"Drink alcohol as if you were thirsty, dance like nobody is watching, have sex as if you were being filmed and fight as if you actually hate your enemy."
various (submitted by stretch)
What is your silly Arrse quote from Arrse?
 
#2
From Cernunnos on the Homeric Re: Lezzers - God Bless them! Air your views here! thread
...
My dog had something to celebrate himself last week, but he dropped a serious bollock. Frau Schroder from next door but two came around to ask me, as a known doggy person, if I knew anyone who would want a mongrel puppy. Her two year old Labrador bitch had just produced four healthy pups. Sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee �I can�t understand it she said, we kept her indoors the whole time she was in heat� she said. �If we went for a walk she had a nappy on and no dog got near her�. Suddenly there was a familiar scratching sound and the kitchen door flew open and my dog sauntered in. �He can open doors!� said Frau Schroder� in amazement, the atmosphere cooled as the realisation sunk in!
 
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