Best and worst place for a shag......

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by one-flew-over, Feb 14, 2008.

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  1. What is the worst place you have shagged in? Maybe the best one or even the most perverted.

    Worst - aged 17 in my Mini - fcuking uncomfortable and only to be attempted by an overeager teenager. Cramp, making sure the gear stick didn't shag me while I gace the gf the good news and cleaning the fecking upholstry before I lent the cat to me mum.

    Best - a quiet beach on a island holiday - with the contents of the minibar inside me....
  2. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    The worst was behind the NSE bar in DJ Bks in Split. Gravel surface, cut my knee's to shreds.

    The best was behind the NSE Bar in DJ Bks in Split. She sucked me dry.
  3. oof, I was at a punk gig at a skatepark in Birmingham maybe 2 years ago, met this fcuking fit as fcuk girl (the only non punk there), we both had the contents of the bar inside of us, we saw a few dusty ramp and thought *what the fuck, won't hurt :)* so off we trot, found a little door in the side of a ramp, under we go, and to my surprise is had the yellow insulation stuff under there, dusty/minging as fcuk, but it was a shag, nevertheless.
  4. Jeese, you are a deviant what was the cat doing in your mini?
  5. Best - In the main pool at Disneys Typhoon Lagoon water park in Florida, just a few yards from the lifeguard who hopefully didn't know what was going on.
    Also, small car park near the old nightclub on the road between Church Crookham and Aldershot. We hadn't seen eachother for months and couldn't help it.

    Worst - Nearly getting caught on mum and dads sofa when we thought they'd gone out for the night. Not an exciting worst but hey ho
  6. Worst: Gotta be when I was shagging a girl who worked in a old peoples home, she rang me one night shift when it was quiet, I fucked her in the front room on an arm chair which totally stank of old people & piss, funny thing was her mate caught us and told us to clear off somewhere else (She wasn't game for joining in lol). We didn't really have anywhere else to go so we finished in the bus shelter out front! 8)

    BEST: Bar far was with my current g/f, we did it in the pool at a hotel in New Zealand about this time last year, it was about 11:00, there was one girl in the gym which was in front of the pool, there was a glass wall separating the pool and the gym, the girl in the gym was on a running machine with her back to us, I was doing the misses while getting an eye full of this fitty in the gym 8) :lol: 8) :lol:
  7. Worst ------- anywhere the wife might see me.

    Best --------- anywhere else!
  8. BuggerAll

    BuggerAll LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    One of our EHO's found discarded used condoms in thunderboxes on TELIC 1. I would have thought the ambience of a thunderbox would have been enough to put anyone off their stroke.
  9. Once opened the dixie door in Kosovo (Middle of Summer) to find a certain fat, useless TA Sgt (R. SIGNALS) cracking one off the wrist. Couldn't get the news round quick enough.

    Dirty, fat, useless TA C*NT! :twisted:

  10. Spazzer speller me!
  11. Worst(s): on an ants nest, unknowed to me in Graveyard in Dundee, becuase i was leathered, as my ARRSE was shot te Fook in the morning.
    Also I pumped a bird in an alley floor completely fooking leathered, as I Shot my man fat up her, I projectile vomited all over her. All then I remember having a stilleto hanging out the back of my head and lying in my own vomit. She was a good shag, but the bitch gave me a dose. :x

    Best: Some Malaysian Doris who I rattled all over the place last week in 5* Hotel, and I going back for some more - as she is clearly filthbag dot com. :twisted:
  12. Worst 17 years old and shagged some lass in a car in a garage as it was very dark went down to muff her and never had the night vision ended up with my tounge up her hoops and she'd not long had a sh1t...tagnuts the lot :lick: :pukel: dirty little bitch didnt want me to stop either :cry:
  13. did you stop?
  14. Worst: 18 year old, deciding to have a quickie with my bird on the Stena HSS Belfast to Stranraer disabled toilet, floor covered in spacker p1ss. Me kneeling in it, with my creme cargo trousers rapidly soaking up the rancid liquid while I thrashed away. I could have sworn I'd hit the lock button on the wall.

    Alas, while I was about to go for the money shot, a knock came upon the door. "Is there anyone in there" in a Scottish accent I hear. Cue mass panick as I scramble to hit the lock button again to make sure, while my voice froze. I had succeeded in opening the door by hitting the button twice, to which a female Scottish Stena staff member was greeted with my bare arrse while still continuing to piledrive the then girlfriend, who was frozen with fear. Her dad was a well known good living senior cop in Armagh and was petrified of what he might do or say if this was reported...

    I have never heard a Stena staff member curse, but I did that day. I don't know which one of us three were more surprised. I immediatley stood up and shot my muck on the girl's black top, to which she burst out crying. Cue the E&E exercise around the ship while trying to hide from any security staff which might have been looking for us.

    The last time I seen the member of staff was walking off the boat as a foot passenger, and she was standing there with some other guy in a hi vis jacket. She went bright re, as did the then girlfriend, to which the inevitable happened....I p1ssed myself laughing.

    Best: Doing an ex in Bangor up against the McKee clock. I spun round to get finished off in her mouth, and as I released the motherload, 2 cops walked past laughing their heads off, giving the thumbs up and commenting about how much of a goer she was :D
  15. Best place = her ass
    worst place = mine