• ARRSE have partnered with Armadillo Merino to bring you an ARRSE exclusive, generous discount offer on their full price range.
    To keep you warm with the best of Merino gear, visit www.armadillomerino.co.uk and use the code: NEWARRSE40 at the checkout to get 40% off!
    This superb deal has been generously offered to us by Armadillo Merino and is valid until midnight on the the 28th of February.

Benefits versus working for a living

#1
Her indoors has been watching Jeremy Kyle again, (she's a childminder and regards it as educational for the kids, ie if you're not careful this is how you'll end up)

Anyway she watched hom on Friday discussing people who don't work coz it is economically suicidal, ie they could never earn enough to live their current lifestyle, Mahoosive Telly, new car, two holidays etc

One thing I can't understand is that if these buggers have more children they get more money.
Question: Do they only get extra Child Allowance as we working people get or do they get other extra stuff?

Because if they do that is the fundamental mistake of the benefit system, WE only get extra Child Allowance, I don't get paid extra if we have another sprog.

The answer is:
Give them the minimum wage x 40 hours (less tax) and child Allowance per kid and tell them to pay their own rent, council tax etc

And 1,2, 3 You're back in the room
 
#2
or even better petty cash and then vouchers that can be used in one of the big supermarkets (tescos, asda, morrisons etc etc) with chuffing great big letters stamped across it " NOT VALID FOR ALCOHOL OR TOBACCO PRODUCTS"
 
#3
or even better petty cash and then vouchers that can be used in one of the big supermarkets (tescos, asda, morrisons etc etc) with chuffing great big letters stamped across it " NOT VALID FOR ALCOHOL OR TOBACCO PRODUCTS"
That doesn't work, they use milk tokens to pay for ciggies etc anything but cow juice
 
#4
It works out 20 pound child benefit for each child that falls out of her hippos yawn. Add to that child tax credits, housing benefit and council tax benefit and your looking at a tidy sum. Mother will be claiming income support so getting 65 pound a week. Usually one child will have learning disabilities ( thick as it used to be known) so will be getting DLA on top so mum will get a careers premium of about 28 quid on top of her income support. She then thinks bingo and invents illnesses for the other little gems.

I keep asking the wife if we can hobble my son so I can give up work and she gets really funny about it!?
 
#5
It works out 20 pound child benefit for each child that falls out of her hippos yawn. Add to that child tax credits, housing benefit and council tax benefit and your looking at a tidy sum. Mother will be claiming income support so getting 65 pound a week. Usually one child will have learning disabilities ( thick as it used to be known) so will be getting DLA on top so mum will get a careers premium of about 28 quid on top of her income support. She then thinks bingo and invents illnesses for the other little gems.

I keep asking the wife if we can hobble my son so I can give up work and she gets really funny about it!?
Yes apparently there was one lass had seven kids the eldest daughter (17)was just about to drop her second and she had about £1500 per month disposable income ie her rent etc had already been paid
 
#6
My brother is in his early 40's registered disabled due to genuine illness his wife doesnt work and funnily enough just had a second kid last year not long year as their first was over the age of 5 and the social would be on at her to get back to some sort of work. She's a lazy fucker and sits onher arse most of the time letting my brother run around after her was doing it just weeks after a massive heart attack which nearly finished him. However as they dont work they make a tidy sum

Housing/Council tax paid for she's his registered carer so gets cash for that oh then child benefit prob tax credits as well he also gets money to help him with a special diet and he gets DLA as well on the second UK based holiday next month I was able to have a week and work full time.....Who's the mug?
 
#7
If you have a child when you go onto benefit I don't have a problem paying for them. It's when they continue banging them out that grips my shit.
We shouldn't pay for kids born while on benefit. You can't afford them? Fucking tough , you shouldn't have had them.
 
#8
My brother is in his early 40's registered disabled due to genuine illness his wife doesnt work and funnily enough just had a second kid last year not long year as their first was over the age of 5 and the social would be on at her to get back to some sort of work. She's a lazy fucker and sits onher arse most of the time letting my brother run around after her was doing it just weeks after a massive heart attack which nearly finished him. However as they dont work they make a tidy sum

Housing/Council tax paid for she's his registered carer so gets cash for that oh then child benefit prob tax credits as well he also gets money to help him with a special diet and he gets DLA as well on the second UK based holiday next month I was able to have a week and work full time.....Who's the mug?
If he's that ill, how do they manage to shag?

I'm on the Tom and Dick at the moment, and I can just about shove the dog through the dog flap without passing out.

Oh, and yes, I do pay taxes. Shall I be in the Army today or be a fireman?

(Checked it was in the NAAFI first!).
 
#9
Correct however most dolies see them as a meal ticket to keep their nose in the trough her father was a lazy ignorant twat as well would just pick firms out of the yellow pages and write their details into the book given to him by the Job centre had a job working in Aldi gave it up claiming stress hmmmm sure it was just fucking idle
 
#10
Yeah I caught a few of those Jezza Kyle shows with the people 'choosing' to be unemployed. What a load of toss, we shouldn't be paying for people to sit around and do feck all. There are a few answers to this, vouchers are one that I've been in favour off but that's been rightfully pointed out that it would just create a black market.

I think I have the final answer (solution??) to this though:

Soup kitchens.

After six months on the dole, stop the benefits entirely, pay their electricity, gas, water and rent bills directly and make them attend out of work 'canteens' if they want food.

Serve them nutricious fruit, veg and meat (preferably in soup form) 3 times a day in exchange for them proving that they have applied to at least 3 jobs a day.

If they're unemployed they don't need cigs, beer or any luxuries, their basic bills are paid, so all they actually need is food until they find their feet.

Sorted.
 
#11
Has anyone seen Whet/Sven lately? He will not only explain how he screws the system for as much as possible he will also justify his reasons for doing so.
 
#13
I think mentioning the fat snoozer on threads like this is an extension of Godwin's Law: Godwin's law - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
I disagree, he is after all an expert on living off other peoples taxes (he's had a decade of practise), he might as well do something helpful and post how he scams.

Besides I need to shout at the laptop (I need to release some stress) that that Snoozy is making excuses for not having a job again.
 
#14
I disagree, he is after all an expert on living off other peoples taxes (he's had a decade of practise), he might as well do something helpful and post how he scams.

Besides I need to shout at the laptop (I need to release some stress) that that Snoozy is making excuses for not having a job again.
Do we need to go into the "Have you met him?"thing.
 
#15
Easy way of jobbing this job.

You have no job and you need fininacial assistance?

Sign and date here.

Have you a bank account or will you be collecting your cash weekly?

Here is five days times 8 hours times minimum wage for starters.

You have 100 days to get a job, on the next working day after this point you will report to the labour exchange for assessment and work allocation.

Work. Yes, work. Scrubbing graffiti, picking up chewing gum, cutting grass on the roadside. Work.

You will earn points to be used towards retraining and receive education to bring you up to the basic level required if you were some sort of fcuktard at school (ie E at English and maths).

Non attendance? No pay.
Turn up drunk/drugged or late then you will be turned away for that day (see previous point regarding no pay).

This will continue until you have a job.

What is that? You have a 'bad back'? No problemo, we'll find you a chewing gum picker upper co-ordination cell job, where you receive calls on where chewing gum infestation is prolific.

We can't have a job for all of you? No, we probably can't can't. If we have no jobs for you that day you sit in our meditation yard... for 8 hours. If we are paying you, then you aren't going to sit in front of Jeremy fcuking Kyle all day for the priveledge. Don't worry, we have plenty of make work for you in the meditation room and no distractions such as tv.

Good news is we don't take in to account your savings or value of property.

Bad news is, once you get a job you have to hold it for at least a year otherwise you get a reduced period of grace (ie work for 3 months and you will only get 30 days work free subsidy).

If the above was the sort of thing they were hereing in the Dole office, i have a canny suspicion there would be less wasters.

Also, child benefit could be raised for each child but capped to the first two children only (multiple births wouldn't be aversly affected mind). Reducing the population overload in the country, and gym slip mums/families would have a stark choice look after grand kids and young mum or have her moved to a young mums hostel where all kinds of goodies could be made available, such as on call Health Visitors, teachers and work in the laundry.

It is quite easy to provide help to those who need it and still provide a robust system. It is just everyone is scared of being likened to hitler or something.

And
 
#17
Benefit is seen as a natural progression after leaving school, as many families have generations of unemployed. All yu have to do is fill in a few pretend entries in your job diary and turn up every two weeks and get £65.40 p/w for doing nothing. Leaves the rest of your week free to do odd jobs on the fiddle.

If you have a flat, then you get rent paid £70 p/w
Council tax £20 plus the £65.40
£155.40 paid by the state. Take someone working on £6.50 p/h - x 40 = 260 less tax - 210
less transport costs to and from work, car ins, etc. There is no incentive for dolies to work a 40 hour week for what would equate to earning a pound an hour. Just scab off the state and an odd cash in hand job will make them better off.

If I were in charge, I would save millions in a few weeks.

Single mums who turn up at the housing office bleating how they want a house. Pack them off to a hostel, some old converted barracks would be ideal. Like a Kibbutz. A rota is posted and they take it in turns to look after the kids, while the others work in the allotments, kitchen or the workshop sewing etc. They are allowed out but must be in at 23.00.

There you go just saved over £150 p/w per person.

Dolies
Must be loads of things they can do, picking up the needles from kids parks, cleaning graffiti and picking up litter. Cleaning canals and maybe building places along rivers where people can go canoeing etc.

They could man a Roman type oar powered ship and take the illegal immigrants back to France. Cheap, eco friendly and an incentive to get a job or they will have to do it again.

Sadly it will never change until there is a major reform of the benefit system
 
#18
Easy way of jobbing this job.

You have no job and you need fininacial assistance?

Sign and date here.

Have you a bank account or will you be collecting your cash weekly?

Here is five days times 8 hours times minimum wage for starters.

You have 100 days to get a job, on the next working day after this point you will report to the labour exchange for assessment and work allocation.

Work. Yes, work. Scrubbing graffiti, picking up chewing gum, cutting grass on the roadside. Work.

You will earn points to be used towards retraining and receive education to bring you up to the basic level required if you were some sort of fcuktard at school (ie E at English and maths).

Non attendance? No pay.
Turn up drunk/drugged or late then you will be turned away for that day (see previous point regarding no pay).

This will continue until you have a job.

What is that? You have a 'bad back'? No problemo, we'll find you a chewing gum picker upper co-ordination cell job, where you receive calls on where chewing gum infestation is prolific.

We can't have a job for all of you? No, we probably can't can't. If we have no jobs for you that day you sit in our meditation yard... for 8 hours. If we are paying you, then you aren't going to sit in front of Jeremy fcuking Kyle all day for the priveledge. Don't worry, we have plenty of make work for you in the meditation room and no distractions such as tv.

Good news is we don't take in to account your savings or value of property.

Bad news is, once you get a job you have to hold it for at least a year otherwise you get a reduced period of grace (ie work for 3 months and you will only get 30 days work free subsidy).

If the above was the sort of thing they were hereing in the Dole office, i have a canny suspicion there would be less wasters.

Also, child benefit could be raised for each child but capped to the first two children only (multiple births wouldn't be aversly affected mind). Reducing the population overload in the country, and gym slip mums/families would have a stark choice look after grand kids and young mum or have her moved to a young mums hostel where all kinds of goodies could be made available, such as on call Health Visitors, teachers and work in the laundry.

It is quite easy to provide help to those who need it and still provide a robust system. It is just everyone is scared of being likened to hitler or something.

And
a system like the above, was in place and worked quite successfully in western germany in the 70,s and 80,s(no hitler jokes please), the long term idle were provided with menial and labour intensive jobs to qualify for benefits, keeping parks and cemetaries clean was a favourite, after a winter of scrubbing gravestones or creosoting miles of fences,these schemes were run in 6 month blocks, during which you had to prove you were activelly seeking full time work as well after 12 months if you had not found a job no benefits only food and clothing vouchers, sadly govt changed so work practises changed too
 
#20
We should chemically or otherwise infertile their males, giving them no incentive to stay at home breeding for more benefits.
We should availabilise their females for a free fukfest thereby reminding them of their status. They could be made to wear badges and we could fuk their non existent brains out on demand
Many changes are neeeded to the "benefits system". Their first duty should be to the taxpayer, not the self inflicted mongs claiming it.
 

Latest Threads