belting a lippy cnut!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by luke, Nov 30, 2005.

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  1. I was with my ex for a long time, 5 years in fact, but then I went and joined the army and she made me choose - on yer bike love, plenty more fish etc.

    All the while we were together, this slimy little rat (we'll call him Paul, cos that's his name) was sniffing round her, but a quiet word kept him at bay til I told her to feck off, and he steamed in. Fair enough, had he not threatened to kill me, and threatened to put her in hospital, among other things,while we were together. At the time I could of annihalated the prick, but somehow she talked me round, and as he disappeared for a while (shocking), by the time I saw him again I decided to let it lie.

    Of course she was devastated that a ravishing hunk such as myself had ditched her, and Paul offered a shoulder to cry on (and a much smaller penis so I'm told by his ex :lol: ), and now they're together.

    I've sinced moved on (and got a fitter bird :D), but it seems Paul hasn't - now I'm off the scene he's been giving it all the lip about him scaring me off, blah blah, I would destroy him in a fight and he knows it, but with my starting basic in a few weeks I can't risk giving him a slap and getting nicked. Unfortunately his brothers a copper, and seemingly never more than 10 feet from him, so I'd be nicked on the spot.

    I only ever see him at the pub now too (along with his brother), the only decent pub in our town, so getting barred from there wouldn't be too convenient. I spose I could give him a judas in the base of his skull while hes having a piss in the bogs, but thats not my style, and his brother is probably in there holding his cock for him while he goes anyway.

    I don't know where he lives but could find out, and I do know where he works. I don't fancy sending him some dogshit to his work address, but getting him fired would be fcuking justice and then some.

    Cmon then, how can I get one over on this cnut, legally of course :D
  2. You whining civvy puff. Your "ex" played with your mate's pole because you are shiite in the sack.
  3. For someone who ditched his bird sometime ago to join the Army, but you're only just starting your Basic training - I'm a little confused. Espicially that you've beena member of this site since 04.

    I gets the idea you might be telling a little porky! I'm sure you're very tough and would give him a good kicking - so , I hope you're joining the Infantry!!!!
  4. Next time you see him when your hanging out in Tescos car park challenge him to a race. Your Clio vs his Saxo the winner gets bragging rights down Wetherspoons while the loser has to resort to drinking white lightning in the park telling all the 15 year olds how they nearly won but they thought they saw some 5-0 in the rear view and had to pull over as their windscreen washer LED's could have got them in trouble.
  5. FFS - when you're in basic you won't see any of these people for weeks because you'll be gated.

    Wait until you've passed out and been posted to your unit. Then when you're on leave sometime you're bound to bump into him on his own and away from prying eyes. Then you can 'educate' him on how he should speak to and about you.

    Without any witnesses he's fcuked.
  6. Heres the crack mate. Just drop it. It sounds petty and rise above it. However shagging his bird (your ex) every now and then might do the trick. That isnt against the Law. And if he gets angry and goes for you him and you web the jumped up little bog floater then im sure that would just be self defence as long as you dont go over the top. But the none squaddy in me just says let it lie and get over it. & actually join instead of talking about it!
  7. Applied in Feb '05, medical records lost twice, finally did rsc in september, given basic date of september or January and September was a no-go for various reasons. Believe me if I could be in by now I would!

    Made me laugh :D
  8. Forget him and her , do a few years hit the weights and head home with a load of cash, a few war stories and a nice car. Ignore them you will feel better he will feel a numpty and leave it at that .
  9. Just leave it mate, you gettin yourself arrested, just laugh it off. In fact, be perfectly civil to him, buy him a drink, tell him that you don't want any bad blood between yourself and your ex. This will P*ss the little s*hit off majorly, the fact he's not gettin any entertainment.

    Or if you feel like it, walk in looking a bit sheepish and quiet while scratching your crotch a bit. Have a quiet word with your ex and dickhead explaining that you've just got back from the clinic, and have just been told to inform all your sexual partners that they should go for the test.
  10. Sh@g the laydee rigid. "Accidentally" video the moment when you spludge on her bum cheeks. MMS the item to him. And then upload it onto here.
  11. Luke,

    Found your medical photographs and have just realised why you had to wait so long


    It took them a while to find you a head dobber to fit

  12. WHAT THE..! 8O
  13. as an" old and bold" just leave him be, day before you go though, tell the local chav"tuffy" that this geezer has started to tell everyone that said chav is gay/ shagged his sister/mother etc. and is a police informer, see what happens when you get your 1st leave..
  14. maninblack

    maninblack LE Book Reviewer

    Ignore the little tool, it is a petty children's squabble.

    Get a couple of years under your belt and you will know who is the real man.
  15. Any action like belting him would just show that youre bothered .. just ignore it .. and if youre provoked just make a joke of it.

    My ex wife was seeing a guy who took great delight in describing their bedroom antics in great detail when we were both in the pub. I simply asked him if he ever went down south on her .. when he replied that he did and she loved it .. I simply asked why he had such a chuffer on about placing his face where I once had my nuts .. even his mates sniggered .. hasnt said a word to me since.