Being judgemental - Is it something wrong?

I think that being judgemental is part of the human condition. Of course, those judgements may be wrong.

I was in a McDonalds a while ago (don't judge) and my son was kicking off big time, due to the noise, the crush of bodies and the buzzing from the fluorescent tubes. Some woman said to her daughter: "That kid needs a good smacked behind." I replied: "Oh really? Would you ring "The Lancet" and let them know that you've found a cure for autism? Just give 'em a belt - that's where I've been going wrong."

Her face flushed as red as a traffic light and she couldn't look at me. I may've mentioned the words bitch and ignorant, although not necessarily in that order.
And perhaps that is the clearest illustration of the dilemma so far:

Judgmental 1 = random woman makes an immediate assumption and is judgmental about a parent who appears to be unable or unwilling to control their child to the detriment of her enjoyment and is 'offended' by the intrusion.

Judgmental 2 = Parent of a child who, due to invisible medical circumstances, is distressed at the environment and responds in the only way their condition permits, does not react well to this judgmental attitude and responds in kind.

'Judgment' of the matter poses two questions:

1. Did the parent, as controlling adult, consider the likelihood of such an environment causing such a reaction from their child and how they might mitigate the effect on others sharing that social space? Has it happened before?
2. Did the onlooking woman consider that there may be an underlying reason and check the rush to judgment? If not, why not?

And yes, I am probably exercising poor judgment wading into a topic where personal illustrations are at play. But I'll offer a proposition; the energy of judgmentalist's pronouncements underlying the 'us' 'not us' dichotomy will increase in proportion to the population increase, as space becomes more crowded. The McDonalds analogy being an illustration.
 
And perhaps that is the clearest illustration of the dilemma so far:

Judgmental 1 = random woman makes an immediate assumption and is judgmental about a parent who appears to be unable or unwilling to control their child to the detriment of her enjoyment and is 'offended' by the intrusion.

Judgmental 2 = Parent of a child who, due to invisible medical circumstances, is distressed at the environment and responds in the only way their condition permits, does not react well to this judgmental attitude and responds in kind.

'Judgment' of the matter poses two questions:

1. Did the parent, as controlling adult, consider the likelihood of such an environment causing such a reaction from their child and how they might mitigate the effect on others sharing that social space? Has it happened before?
2. Did the onlooking woman consider that there may be an underlying reason and check the rush to judgment? If not, why not?

And yes, I am probably exercising poor judgment wading into a topic where personal illustrations are at play. But I'll offer a proposition; the energy of judgmentalist's pronouncements underlying the 'us' 'not us' dichotomy will increase in proportion to the population increase, as space becomes more crowded. The McDonalds analogy being an illustration.

Are you one of those Chinese spammers ?
 
We all judge stuff, including people. You've got to be discerning for your own well being.

But overly judgemental types are rarely happy because they tend to judge themselves the most harshly. I mix in recovery circles; it's a very common phenomenon to see; particularly with the newly clean and sober types.

I try to keep some doubt in my judgements; apart from when it comes to Remainers. They're all anti-democratic quisling snowflakes.

Fact.
 

Slime

LE
Being judgemental is one of those things that has been hijacked by diversity trainers, its also perhaps one of those things that makes no sense when applied in a diversity setting. It maybe it's in the same mis used category as the phrase 'it cant be compared to' which is then immediately followed by a comparison of two things :)

My favourite mis use of 'judgemental' was when working in a rehab when staff would say to clients 'we aren't here to judge you', but would praise clients for going dry or clean...........being judgemental about the clients positive progress.

Am I judgemental.....too bloody right :)
 
Are you one of those Chinese spammers ?
Thank you for the prompt, I missed the underlying point raised by that question at first, but better late than never.
Given that the Chinese Government's 'Social Credit System' is a reality, then presumably they can only run such a complex and comprehensive system via IT algorithms.

Those algorithms must depend on a preformed binary judgment of acceptable/not acceptable 'social' behaviours. Since criminality is only one factor in being given demerits. The coding being determined by the ruling authority according to its vision of what rules society needs to conform to in order to keep that society 'healthy'.

With respect to the OP's question and holding in mind the apparent immutability of human nature, what effect will that have on the power of vinegary village gossips? Will they cease to be avidly judgmental because the algorithm does it for them, or feel empowered and vindicated in their opinions by the 'presumably published(?)' results?
Will the intolerant lady in McDonalds be on the committee that determines the boundaries of 'social acceptability for this society?
 
Looking at the pathetic. and sometimes ludicrous, sentences and comments passed passed down in the courts by many of our judges I'd say that more than a few are mental...
 
Another thought is that our judgements (of people) are often wrong. For example, take me!

I judge myself to be funny, intelligent, handsome, fit and strong.

Wor Lass judges me to be annoying and deluded.

AA friends (may) judge me to be helpful and kind.

My dog (RIP) judged me to be a god.

Who is right?

Me, of course. Maybe my dog too.
 

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