Being British

Copped Have I got News For You with Jeremy Clarkson last night - and the thread of questions being asked to ascertain how British you are - eg;
If you knowk a strangers drink over in a pub what do you do
a) buy him another
b) ask him to step out into the car park

that sort of thing - although - apparently - there are no questions on British history as there is too much of it

So;- the question is what questions would arrse put on a test to see how British the foreign applicants are

Watch and shoot - watch and shoot.


This is a paste from an e mail I received, allegedly true:

One of my sons serves in the army. He is still here in England.

He called me yesterday to let me know how warm and welcoming people were to him, and his fellow soldiers,

everywhere he goes, telling me how people shake their hands, and thank them for being willing to serve, and fight,

for not only our own freedoms but so that others may have them also.

But he also told me about an incident in the grocers shop he stopped at yesterday, on his way home from the barracks.

He said that ahead of several people in front of him stood a woman dressed in a burkha.

He said when she got to the checkout she loudly remarked about the Union Jack lapel badge the cashier wore on her blouse.

The cashier reached up and touched the badge, and said proudly," Yes, I always wear it and probably always will."

The woman in the burkha then asked the cashier when she was going to stop bombing her countrymen, explaining that she was Iraqi.

A gentleman standing behind my son stepped forward, putting his arm around my son's shoulders, and nodding towards my son,
said in a calm and gentle voice to the Iraqi woman:
"Missus, hundreds of thousands of men and women like this young man have fought and died so that YOU could stand
here, in MY country and accuse a check-out cashier of bombing YOUR countrymen.

It is my belief that had you been this outspoken in YOUR own country, we wouldn't need to be there today. But, if you have now learned
how to speak out so loudly and clearly, I'll gladly buy you a ticket and pay your way back to Iraq so that you can straighten out the messin YOUR country that you are obviously here in MY country to avoid."

Everyone within hearing distance cheered!
I think this is a right wing urban myth circulated to stuir up hatred. Something similar was circulated about the US post 9/11. In fact the whole post looks like a US email with a bad replacement of US with England.

Cashiers don't wear Union Flag badges. In places where there are lots of Muslims, the cashier is more likely to be wearing a burka than a union jack flag.

The only flag badge currently widely used to show support is the V for victory 60th anniversary badge. I have never met anyone from our ethnic minorities who have objected to flag symbols, and plenty who are related to people who served the same flag in the 1940s. My local Pakistani newsagent mended Spitfire engines in Egypt.

Maybe this is the sort of thing the race & religious hatred bills are designed to stop?
Hmm, myth it may be, but i do like it!

I have no problem with asylum seekers etc etc, but I have heard of similar people on radio etc, IE Iraqi People living in th eUK, bitching about us being in Iraq and "destoying" their beautiful country etc etc. If thats the case, "fcuk off back there then" and do something about it!

I'm sick of our country being used as everybody elses doormat!!!

Agree with Pteranadon :eek: Was back home recently and the only thing that I saw is poppies, if anything. Disregarding the Muslim component in the story, wearing a flag badge sounds in general more like a yank thing.
Yes, it does read like one of those dreadfully schmaltzy American urban myths, adapted for a British audience. It's not hard to spot the stereotypes: Muslim hate figure berates proud patriot, who is defended by (conveniently present) passionate orator, using (also conveniently present) stoical uniformed hero, to make his point...


The religious hate law is just another sop to an alien religion that is deeply incompatable with any proper democracy. Wherever Islam raises it's head, there is strife, it's aims to are to dominate by guile or by violence. Does anyone really think that any Mad Mullahs are going to be prosecuted under this act? Only things like "The Life of Brian" will be outlawed, any religious zealot will be able to complain against ANY criticism of their religion. This proposed law is the death knell of free speech in this country. I'm tired of hearing how we must preach diversity and tolerance. Are we supposed to tolerate "Honour Killings", female circumcision, forced marriages, suicide bombings, the erosion of our freedoms and rights in the name of diversity? Our entire country is being sacrificed on the altar of political correctness and anyone that attempts to raise the issue is liable to state prosecution. Thoughts anyone?


I shall relax, when my country is free of the politically correct tyrants who have done untold damage to our towns, cities and countryside. England arise.... There thats better!
Herrenbloke said:
I shall relax, when my country is free of the politically correct tyrants who have done untold damage to our towns, cities and countryside. England arise.... There thats better!
Well said that man.

I would like you to succeed, though mainly for selfish reasons; for I would like your politically correct tyrants contained within the British isles.
Does the UK have a law (or condition of immigration) that states that any first-generation immigrant convicted of a crime is immediately deported after having served out his/her sentence? If not, why not? I'm thinking about serious crime here primarily but for repeat petty-crime offenders the same rule should apply.
Sorry mate, just had to giggle at a mental picture that came unbidden. Frowning furiously, temples throbbing, warming to the task of hammering out your frustration with every fibre trembing with rage :)
Actually i intended this to be amusing with some typically arrse humour - however i have to agree with the direction its gone in - are we now going to be in the position where the nationalised french africans/turks/algerians are now going to be seeking asylum in england as its too dangerous to go back to france ???
as my son said of the french when they didnt get to host the olympics - the only thing the french should host is an invasion.


Don't worry Irish Guard, once I free England, I shall then liberate Scotland and Wales and Ireland, 40, 000 troops should be enough... (Straight to hell for that one!)
Herrenbloke said:
Don't worry Irish Guard, once I free England, I shall then liberate Scotland and Wales and Ireland, 40, 000 troops should be enough... (Straight to hell for that one!)

What then? head east for some Lebensraum?


I was thinking of heading West and recapturing the former colonies, Declaring the EU Greater England and turning Brussels into an MLRS Impact area. Anyone want to volunteer for my Crusade?

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