Beggars sob stories

#1
Over the last Month I have noticed that there has been an increase in beggars on last night trains. The one thing that gets my goat is they are using the same bloody sob story EVERY SINGLE NIGHT!
The beggar walks through the carriage bare foot (skanky feet is a must) and explains that his shoes have been stolen and he needs to get to a hostel in Kent/Timbuktu and just needs another few quid and he's in!
Some times this happens 2 or 3 times on the same train journey!!!!!

Now call me cynical but I do not think there is some evil genius practicing his handy work by stealing the entire homeless populations footwear for some cunning plan for world domination. Half the time you can see a pair of trainers sticking out of their bag! Who do they think they are kidding?

So Arrsers, what’s the most feeble sob story you have heard?


p.s I'm all up for the big issue and do give to those who perform on the streets, I just do not give to junkies.
 

Nehustan

On ROPS
On ROPs
#2
I'm an easy mark, most stories manage to get something out of me, if only a few tabs...

(***edit*** mind you one thing that is almost definately going to ensure I never help you again is abusing the mark in front of me because he didn't pay up)
 
#4
Nehustan said:
I'm an easy mark, most stories manage to get something out of me, if only a few tabs...

(***edit*** mind you one thing that is almost definately going to ensure I never help you again is abusing the mark in front of me because he didn't pay up)
The best one I saw had a sign saying "Hungrey and homeless, please spare 20p for food ...... and £250.000 for a house". I had to laugh and tip her a pound.
 
#5
The best one I ever heard, and one of the few times I've ever given money to a begger, was the chap who said he wanted to buy "booze, cigs and some pot"!!!! Having been getting more annoyed by the same sob stories as above, I thought that at least he was being honest about where it was going!
 

Nehustan

On ROPS
On ROPs
#6
call_me_jack said:
Give them a card with the phone number of the local army careers office on it.
Sad thing is that 25% (I think the stat is 1 in 4) have probably already been there, done that, and have the medals (and/or Scars) to prove it.
 

Nehustan

On ROPS
On ROPs
#7
Actually just had a google...

Homelessness

One quarter of homeless people are from the ex-Service community. SSAFA Forces Help is involved in many initiatives to help combat this.

SSAFA Source

and interestingly aunty also has quite a cool page...

Help for homeless ex-services
 
#8
Whilst walking down the street a while back I was accosted by two rattish looking chav urchins. One asked me if I was a copper (why do people ask me that?), to which I replied in the negative. "That's alright then", said one, "giz us a quid, I need to get some smack". My reply was along the lines of, join the Army, get posted to Afghanistan and you will have all the smack you need.
 
#9
Many years ago, I foolishly bought a sandwich and a bottle of water for a bloke begging outside a supermarket complete with sign asking for food and water. Got spat on, and verbally abused for my trouble and have never given a penny to the guys on the street since. I do however give to the organisations that try to help.
 
#10
CarpeDiem said:
The best one I ever heard, and one of the few times I've ever given money to a begger, was the chap who said he wanted to buy "booze, cigs and some pot"!!!! Having been getting more annoyed by the same sob stories as above, I thought that at least he was being honest about where it was going!
Same thing here

Was in New Orleans for holidays with a mate

A Wino shows up and says

"Hey guys, could you give me some change? I swear that it's not for food or medicines, I just want to get drunk"

I have always believed that "honesty pays", hence em and my mate gave the bugger a couple of bucks (even though we were awfully short in the cash department).

However, when they come up with sob stories that could make rocks cry, I tend to be a little defensive about my hard earned beer tokens vis a vis the alleged need of the beggar.
 
#12
Picutre the scene...

On the way to the office, Monday morning 0700, walking up Regent Street with the mother of all hangovers, some Donkey Wallopers have just quietly passed me on their mighty steeds (at least as quietly as 20 odd x4 iron clad hoofs can :roll: ) when i get accosted by one of the unwashed waving a big issue in my face...

It: "G'issue guv?"
SH: "no ta"
It: "You're probably right mate, its all crap anyway...."
SH: "Eh :? "
It: "...You could buy one of these for a quid, but as its my last one and as it's shite i'll do you a deal..."
SH: "Eh :? "
It: "...Giz a tenner and we'll go round the back of Liberty and you can kick fcuk out of me instead."

Made me laugh and earned himself a quid... no shoeing required.
 
#13
I had a beggar in Liverpool approach me and say "Can yer spare any change so 'a can put some petty in me porsche la?" Rather than give him any change i kindly offered my advice and told him to downsize his car to something more economical like a nice Kia.
You never know, he may have been yet another nig whos been posted to germany and promised the deal of the century by some naafi car sales person, where are the kingos these days?
 
#14
Nehustan said:
Actually just had a google...

Homelessness

One quarter of homeless people are from the ex-Service community. SSAFA Forces Help is involved in many initiatives to help combat this.

SSAFA Source

and interestingly aunty also has quite a cool page...

Help for homeless ex-services
I actually met a chap in Richmond who was in the Falklands, he was sat outside Tesco. I took him for lunch, bought him a pint or two and he then came back to the office to get a shower and a couple of brews. Cracking bloke, sad story. I'm never ready to fcuk 'em off and I always offer them the chance to come with me to get something to eat, funny how many don't accept.
 
#15
Social_Handgrenade said:
Picutre the scene...

On the way to the office, Monday morning 0700, walking up Regent Street with the mother of all hangovers, some Donkey Wallopers have just quietly passed me on their mighty steeds (at least as quietly as 20 odd x4 iron clad hoofs can :roll: ) when i get accosted by one of the unwashed waving a big issue in my face...

It: "G'issue guv?"
SH: "no ta"
It: "You're probably right mate, its all crap anyway...."
SH: "Eh :? "
It: "...You could buy one of these for a quid, but as its my last one and as it's shite i'll do you a deal..."
SH: "Eh :? "
It: "...Giz a tenner and we'll go round the back of Liberty and you can kick fcuk out of me instead."

Made me laugh and earned himself a quid... no shoeing required.
If a Chugger had said that to you you would have kicked the cr@p out of them in a blink of an eye!

"Sponsor a gay panda in china, mate. You can kick me in the nuts if you do!" :D :D :D
 
#16
FOR SALE - GENUINE BEGGARS SHOES

Over a thousand pairs to chose from

Always in stock, many freshly stolen from vagrants...

Under the arches, Charing Cross Station

No discount for homeless, sorry.
 
#17
The sob story really does not matter. Most folk are too polite to tell them to feck off and just hand something over to get rid of the smelly creature thats embarrasing them. Best line I ever heard was on my brothers stag night. Old hobo comes up and says "got 50p for a cup of tea lads?" Brothers mate replies "whats it really for?" hobo "I cant lie to you lads. Its for booze" We had a whip round and he got about a tenner.
 
#18
A homeless guy with one leg was sitting on the steps outside St Paul's.

He had a small sign that read "Limbless Falklands Veteran - give generously"

A man in a Brigade tie threw in a fiver.

"Gracias senor...."
 
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